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If you ever happened to miss me one day,
It's probably because I'm gone.

If you ever happened to see me one day,
Walking down these streets,
Go ahead, you can greet.
"Hello, how are you now?"
Ask me questions, everything you want to know.

If you ever happened to remember me,
How we were so happy.
How I love you-
And you,me?
Those moments instilled in my
memory.
Creating a sense of nostalgia,
Of hope, that perhaps we are meant to be.

If you ever happened to, someday realize, you love me.
(laughing to myself)
It will never happen.
I know it will never be.
For you had married her. Not me.

If you ever happened to hope for a
story with me.
It will be too late already.
For,
Ours, died long before it can even be alive.
To the man I hope to love but cannot. This is NOT for yoü
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
Bonnie
HELP
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
Bonnie
I don't know if I should give up...
  or keep trying.

I don't know if it's love I feel....
  or just lust.

I don't know if I should stay...
  or keep going my way.

I don't know if I'm enough...
  or if I'll ever be enough.

I don't know what I know...
  or if I even know anything at all.

I don't know what to feel
xo
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
Interview
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(
Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "
Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...
Inspired a programme I watched on the crime channel.
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
Leaf
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
•    
i've
   witness-
   ed the others
   fall over several
sets•leaving you alone
shivering on a spindly twig
•the winds of autumn had whis-
pered their threats...•to sweep you
off your perch into the world so big
•the season had almost gone to make
way for another•answering the sum-
mons of winter's call•had anticipated
the coming of your departure•...i had  
sworn to myself to catch you as you'd  
fall•for a brief moment, i had turned  
away•to tend to commitments that  
came with dawn...•i returned to  
stay and wait another day...•  
but the wind had come  
while i was
g
o
n  
e•
    
.
I want to tell you everything
Not a confession;
Is there anything left to confess?
I want to speak until my throat runs dry
I want to hold you for hours-
No-
I want to hold you eternally.
I want to love you
And when I say that I mean
I want to love you infinitely.
*I promise I will.
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
Advice
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
ryn
People may tell you to not cry...
I won't because I know the difference.
They think they know when in fact they lie...
I say bury yourself in the deepest of detriments.

They may say that a new day will come...
They only spout what they can't comprehend.
They forget that you are ailing from a broken heart and that you're not dumb.
There's only you in your space, alone you stand...

Textbook responses are all they can offer...
They know not that it'll only make things worse...
There can be no replies so nice and proper.
To rid you of your life, your plight, your curse.

They may even share personal events that they think familiar.
Thinking what worked for them may work for you.
But no two situations are the same, albeit looking quite similar.
At the end of the day, you only owe it to yourself to pull yourself through.

I say feed your pain, grieve hard if you must
Wallow... Dwell... Drown yourself everyday.
Let your blood sear your insides, beneath your crumbling crust.
Let the world around you descend into destruction and decay.

What made me the expert...
To say these horrid, putrid things.
Because I am you and we both lay in the dirt.
Driven mad by the persistent echoes of our own misgivings.

I'm no expert... I am just a broken man.
Telling you to let yourself be caught in your own sad and angry song.
Be weak... Be as weak as you possibly can...
So you could rise from the ashes and emerge hale and strong.
A chat I had with a friend made me realise... "What doesn't **** you, makes you stronger..." And I know this to be true... So...

"Be very weak... So you could be strong..."
- ryn

Dedicated to all the broken hearts out there...
.
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
WickedHope
Grip
 Jan 2015 Sadie S
WickedHope
Twist with your wrist
The dagger into me
Red pours out
Looks like I can still bleed
You smile, I laugh
The pain sets me free
Was going to be longer, but I'm lazier than usual lately, sorry -- not sorry.
- - -
Have I ever told you guys how much I love toast?
'Cause, like, I really dig toast, ya know?
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