I have a voice
Or should I say, i 'had' a voice
I lost it somewhere on the way.
This hurts cause I lost it but I can still speak.

They all stole it from me,
The girl I had been,
That loved to speak,
They took her away.

At them, she threw her innocent words,
The words thay said, left small cuts,
Everytime she shut herself a bit more,
When she realise that no one is listening to her.

Onto me, they load and unload
All the emotions they picked up on the road,
Making me repeat to myself,
I am not a harbour.

Their anxieties lying all over me
That's why, they all leave in glee
I tried to manage it's load, repeating
I am not a harbour.

Near sea, the sun would kiss me.
I am still near the sea
But the load on me blocking the sunrays
Hence I repeat, I am not a harbour.

I feel the cracks on myself that no one sees.
I wished all the load to be drowned in the sea.
Each crack I count,
Singing, I am not a harbour.

One day, snap, I may,
Trying to listen what everyone has to say.
I listen and they unload
But I m not a harbour.

I waited before realising it was dawn,
That my everything was gone.
It happened so slowly
That I didn't even realise it,
Not even that the past pages were torn.

A dumb little girl you say?
I hope her scars is that you see one day.
The pain she has been through till the date
Is still screaming inside her and forever it may.

They told me how to live
But never taught me how to.
Maybe it was their first life
But maybe they forgot that it's my first too.

Oh, here i sit,
I'm melancholy of my thoughts.
Questioning myself–
"What thoughts i have brought?"

Just why do I feel like this?
Is it just that I'm sad or because of my hate?
Can I just shut off my brain?
There is just too much of weight.

Oh, my chest hurts,
Can I just let it all go?
I guess I can't.
My brain would just shout–"NO!"

My anxiety is killing me
Sometimes, it's hard to even breath for me.
I really hate myself because of my anxiety
And that is the real me that you don't see.