it is so sad, how you seemed really suprised when I asked you if you where okay

I mean you looked like you where crying and all I wanted to do is make sure you where ok, just like you did to me

and yet you just looked at me as if I just said something really weird, and since then you look at me differently

I guess I just have to keep asking you how you are so the next time someone else does, you won't seem so suprised.

Today is the day, I lost my best friend.
Not to death, as you may think, but to america.
She has been my best friend and sister for more than 4 years now, and today is the day she stepped on a plain knowing she won't return within 10 months.
Now ofcourse I can text her I can Skype with her and stuff, but how is that ever the same?
How can I ever be the same without her, without our silly sleepovers and without our songwriting sessions?
How can your expect me to tell her what's wrong over the phone, when I am already having a hard time doing it face 2 face.
I can't, I really really can't.
So yeah today is the day I lost my bestfriend, and although it's 'just for 10 months' as she said.
For me it feels like forever.
And that's also for how long I will love and cherish her.
Forever

Ugh I hate having a writers block...
It is like capturing a hurricane inside a box,
impossible right?

All these words are piling up and ready to be blown into poetic sentences.
But they are trapped inside this little box that I call my head.
These words are stumbeling and rushing and flying round in my head.

All these emotions are ready to fall down and crush the ground like heavy rain.
But they cannot escape this skull of mine although they really should
Now they just make me go crazy, make me flooded with things I can't seem to lose.

I am too full of words and pretty lies.
Too full of emotions, story's and confessions.
But somehow I am so busy getting rid of them, that they decided to stick to me like blood on a murderers hands.

I WANT THEM GONE
I WANT THEM OUT

please oh God, help me get rid of them....

From the moment I first saw you,
I knew there was something wrong.
The way you walked and the way you talked,
you were like a handwritten song.

You where close to being angelic
with dazy eyes and a curly head.
But what I wasn't prepared for
was that you'd turn out to be satan  instead.

If you love me
   for what you see,
   only your eyes would be
   in love with me.

If you love me
   for what you've heard,
   then you would love me
   for my words.

If you love
   my heart and mind,
   then you will love me,
   for all that I'm.

But if you don't love
   my every flaw,
   then you mustn't love me-
   not at all.

-Lang Leav