I wish that I could sleep
to wander through my dreams
to sift through thoughts of pure intent
to ride unconscious seams

I wish that I could see
through the mist to the other side
where life's escape awaits us
where spirit will reside

I wish that I could vanquish
the hatred that burns so deep
for those who drive my conscious thoughts
to wishing they could sleep

strangers become comfortable after a time
and the stoic faces of the old
are alive when they are free to tell their stories
this is what I live for
the stories

the orbs that roam the mountainside at night
many years after the crash that took all aboard
the lights that flicker same time every year
on a deceased husband's birthday
the cries of a child calling for her mommy
repeated each night
looped in time
down the halls of this 300 year - old brick house
where her mommy died from a fall

I have known the gentle touch of a kind spirit
and the angry wrath from the darkest of entities

I did not seek these gifts
they were given
and I follow with open mind and soul
for I live in the peace and comfort
of what this awareness provides
that there is more
much more
beyond this final breath

Come closer to my bedside children
for the final hour draws near
I have longed for this adventure
there is no time for fear

I have run my course
  quite a run it was
I have worn my welcome here
so bid me farewell and smile for me
let's not shed a tear

I've loved and lost
I've battled rough seas
my soul forever true
and if nothing else
I've been paid in full
with a gift
the 3 of you

so I'll leave you now
with this final word
before my thoughts digress
I'm not dying, my children
I'm just moving
to no particular address

something brushes my cheek as I sleep
tiny footsteps perhaps
and I awake in the vaguely lit room
somewhat startled
for this is the second time in two nights
but on this night I do not simply turn over
the dreams, these nightmares of sorts
are beginning to extend
well past the moment of being awake

now propped on one arm
I focus my eyes and sweep
first across my pillow
slowly to the edge
of the mattress
which is inches from the floor
I see it
not scampering
but walking away at a normal gate
this bright neon red spider  
large and life like
moving away towards the corner

wait!
I'm fully awake and I'm seeing this,
the thought occurred
my every nerve twitching in icewater
it's legs cartoonishly long and thin
I watched in stark silence
as it bent low and weaved its way through the space between my slippers
then behind a box of videos
I sat in disbelief
again asking myself if I were awake
but I knew
there was no need to slap myself this time

I slowly leaned towards the box and pulled it quickly
towards me
it was gone
and I was still awake
still in some place between disbelief and shock

how does one escape their nightmares
when they cross from dream to reality