It's terrifying to watch her chest rise and fall
It's like she's not taking in any air at all
She lives and breathes like it doesn't matter if she dies
And behind her smiles and reassurance, there's sorrow in her eyes
She says she's fine and sometimes I think she might be
But if you look at  her closely, a broken girl is all you'll see
Her eyes are green and I think it suits her in a morbid way
Because her eyes are filled with envy when they watch other's happy smiles every day
When she tells me that it doesn't hurt anymore, I can see her hands shake
And when she falls into a dreamless sleep, I can hear her heart break
She walks through the streets with her head held high
But I think she just likes imagining being somewhere over the rainbow, past the grey sky
She's barely held together and fragile as can be
And the hardest part of it all is that she is me.

I have never been very good at this
I have never been good at
Trusting

Pull my hair
Kiss me again

You aren't in love with me
But you love the way I feel
At night
Our sweat clinging to our foreheads

I want to just gaze in your eyes
And watch them twinkle
While I make you feel
Good
About yourself

About your smile
And about your laugh
About your whispers
And gentle caresses

Your the one who stays up with me
Even though we both
needed to be asleep hours ago

The one who dances with me
when I'm not feeling like breathing
And makes me remember how to live

You aren't in love with me
But you love how I feel
With my lips on your neck
And your hands on my hips
As our bodies move

I want to hold your hand
While you struggle through life
And pat you on your back
When you make it out alive

I never want to lose you

I never want to lose
The feeling of your smile
As you try to kiss me

Or your hands
guiding me through the motions

No, you aren't in love with me
But I know you love me

Lying in the cool,flowing, overgrown grass
Bright,blue skies above you
A warm,fragant breeze flows over you,as if,
Someone is pulling the softest silk sheet across your body
Yet never quite touching you
Renewing you,as if you've slumbered for a thousand years


Clouds passing overhead
Imagination showing you figures and shapes,dreams and hopes
You've forgotten the worries of your previous life
To find a new life,now realizing,finally,
What life is meant to be


A lone ray of sunlight passes over you
As if to comfort,as a blanket might warm you on a cool night
You finally leave,a different person
With memories of your perfect day.

"Once upon a time"
she once wrote
on a piece of paper torn out
from her favourite notebook
but she did not know
what else to write
so she tucked the paper
between the pages of her favourite book

the poem did not come to her
a day later
neither did it come to her
all at once

but as the weeks passed by
one more word
made it from her pen
to the paper
and the words
kept coming to her
and she kept writing them down
until the paper
that she kept tucked
between the pages of her favourite book
was kept on her desk
pressed down
by her favourite book
so she could reach it
more easily

and the words kept growing
and they were all meaningful
because each push down the stairs
by her brother
gave birth to a new word
and each insult
by her mother
gave birth to another
and each bruise
by her father
gave birth to one more
and each scar
she gave herself
awarded her with more words
and she kept writing them down
until she filled the whole page
and she finally added
one last word
and kept the paper
on her desk
on top
of her favourite book
and said goodbye
and climbed on her chair
and hung herself
on her ceiling fan
so she could not add
any more words

My thoughts run wild on you
They can't be stopped or tamed
I feel their numbers growing
The more I grow in my pain

My mind needs to be free of you
Somehow I will make it so
It will be hard and tough for me
So we will separate for good when i go

Distance and time hasn't changed you  
I assure you that is no lie
Perfection that blooms within your soul
Is the the best thing I will see before I die

There was a story I read to you
from the internet about a man
who paid his dead girlfriend's phone bill
for months after her untimely demise
just to hear the sound of her voice.

You asked me if I'd do that if I were in his place and you were gone.

You're gone now.
And I'm still calling.