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Rob-bigfoot Feb 2022
The Sword of Courage
Not always beaten from steel
Forged deep in our hearts

© Robert Porteus
This is a rewrite of an earlier haiku. I got muddled on the syllable count previously.
186 · Mar 2023
Swans - haiku
Rob-bigfoot Mar 2023
Barely dappled lake
Winter bleeds into Springtime
Serene game of swans

© Robert Porteus
186 · Dec 2021
Poor Sir Isaac Newton!
Rob-bigfoot Dec 2021
After a hard days thinking Isaac fell asleep under an apple tree,
Woken with a jolt, with a sharp kick to the groin,
Oi! this is private land, and don’t threaten me with gravity!
Gravity? sounds interesting, sadly the weary road I must re-join.

Listen mate you kept on muttering it, gravity! gravity!
Not a clue, sorry no offence intended, my mind wobbles,
Best clear off sharpish! otherwise t’Squire will have it in for thee,
Off he went with a smirk and a wink, and lots of stolen apples!

Stopped to admire the Squire’s smart, nearly finished stable,
Enjoying a muncheon-break, he was felled by a flying brick,
Carried comatose into Smug Hall, was laid out on a billiard table,
Right on cue sat bolt upright, send for the cook and be quick!

After furtive mutterings, eureka! the apple pie was invented!
Later in a violent storm took shelter, under a handy apple tree,
Crushed by a falling bough, sadly death could not be prevented,
Body barely warm his last whispered words, gravity! gravity!

Poor Sir Isaac did sort of discover gravity, what a tragedy!
But claimed instead by Squire Smug of Smug Hall,
Not always wise to totally trust taught history!
It was on my land! Smug smugly proclaimed to one and all.

© Robert Porteus
I was going to write one on Einstein. But I could not spell relativityty
184 · Dec 2020
Big Mac
Rob-bigfoot Dec 2020
Munching my Big Mac, I mused, whilst adjusting my thong,
Was Flora MacDonald a daughter, perhaps Ronald a brother?
Busily rowing and singing the Skye Boat Song,
Is this the origin of the Drive-Thru? as ketchup I smother,
Poor Bonnie Prince Charlie, only a tiny army he brought along,
His seed he did naughtily scatter, sod the crown! too much bother!

So, tout-de-suite, legged it back to France,
Then expresso to Italy, as pasta-masta, bathed in a vat of sauce,
And led poor wife Princess Louise a merry dance,
Badly afflicted with wandering hands, showing no remorse,
His behaviour was shocking, tut-tutting the Pope looked askance,
Formed a sub-committee, tasked with strict morals to enforce

Laying on his deathbed, he tearfully imagined a whispered refrain,

Will ye no’ come back again?
Will ye no’ come back again?
Better lo’ed ye canna be,
Will ye no’ come back again?

(This chorus Carolina Baroness Nairne)

© Robert Porteus
Another bit of silliness! Well why not it's Friday?
Rob-bigfoot Mar 2023
Yes, roses are red
Trees are green – and my ego?
Bruised black and blue – sad!

PS – still sulking!

© Robert Porteus
182 · Mar 2023
Threadbare - haiku
Rob-bigfoot Mar 2023
A sad warp and weft
My rich tapestry of life!
Threadbare, moth-eaten

© Robert Porteus
182 · Aug 2022
Breath
Rob-bigfoot Aug 2022
Breath like a blowtorch
Onions, garlic and chilli
A passion killer!

© Robert Porteus
180 · May 2022
Exile on Main Street
Rob-bigfoot May 2022
Exile on Main Street
Classic Rolling Stones album
Yes 50 years young!

© Robert Porteus

My favourite is still Aftermath. Ouch showing my age!
Hard to believe it is 50 years. Time flies.
179 · May 2022
Universe
Rob-bigfoot May 2022
A true enigma
Snugly wrapped in mystery
Hail the Universe!

© Robert Porteus
177 · Oct 2020
From A Far Distant Star
Rob-bigfoot Oct 2020
From a far distant star, shines a piercing light,
And blankets me in a soft warm glow, that speaks only of love
I stretch out, striving to touch what surely is my birth right
Will this always be denied, until I am in heaven above?

Dear Lord, have you forsaken me?
Please gift me my own bright light,
I would willingly beam out for eternity,
Until I find that elusive love, and darkness makes way for daylight

I pray this is not false hope, I would embrace mere possibility,
So that I could joyously proclaim, like a springtime dove -
That my light shines back so mightily!
And blankets us in a soft warm glow, that speaks only of our love

© Robert Porteus
This is my 9th poem.  When I have written the next one I will have my hair cut.  I look an absolute pillock!  The next one is called This Restless Unquiet  Love.  It is somewhat raw and personal and I am struggling to get the words down.  Good therapy though!
173 · Oct 2022
Damascus - haiku
Rob-bigfoot Oct 2022
The Damascus Road
St Paul’s spiritual way
Now bloodily paved

© Robert Porteus
173 · Mar 2023
The Bell - haiku
Rob-bigfoot Mar 2023
The doom bell summons
  A chorus of crow-black suits
Death’s sombre peel booms

© Robert Porteus
166 · Oct 2021
One-Legged Swan and Friends
Rob-bigfoot Oct 2021
Around and around he/she goes, it matters not which,
Often alone, in constant struggle against the current,
Understanding may elude even the most observant,
A weary battle, for calm waters never within reach.

Our swan may be one-legged, but is forever beautiful,
He/she is so proud to have young to attend,
It would be my honour to befriend,
Surely fraught lives can still be meaningful?


Circling seemingly forever, more so than his kin,
Despair and tiredness in equal measure,
Magnificent plumage masks hard-fought treasure,
Never at rest, alas no hope of a stand-in.

Our hawk may be one-eyed, but is forever beautiful,
He is so proud to have young to attend,
It would be my honour to befriend,
Surely fraught lives can still be meaningful?


Awkward gait, will not diminish his endeavour,
A daily struggle against hunger,
Constant anxiety yes, never anger,
Here, there and everywhere, whatever the weather.

Our blackbird may be wing-damaged, but is forever beautiful,
He is so proud to have young to attend,
It would be my honour to befriend,
Surely fraught lives can still be meaningful?


Few achieve physical and mental perfection,
True humanity is to cherish ALL with utter conviction.


© Robert Porteus
165 · May 2022
Winter - haiku
Rob-bigfoot May 2022
Dark hungry winter
Prowling wolves eerily howl
Blood runs icy-cold

© Robert Porteus
Wrong time of year I know! Apologies I am behind in reading your poems and replying to comments. Must try harder Robert!
154 · Dec 2020
How Sad!
Rob-bigfoot Dec 2020
My sad world I can no longer protect,
No more delivered eggs! so I have to Cluck and Collect!

© Robert Porteus
Can't help feeling somebody, somewhere has already thought of this bit of silliness. If so apologies
133 · Sep 2021
Farewell Charlie Watts
Rob-bigfoot Sep 2021
His drumbeat was my closest pre-teen companion,
A rock-hymn that echoed down the years,
Sometimes smooth jazz swing, sweet balm to my ears,
He gave voice to my batsqueak rebellion.

Always suave, simply the best dressed gent ever,
Manners as impeccable as his attire,
Through good times and bad, never thought to retire,
Will we see the likes of him again? I think never.

With a drum-roll the Pearly Gates open,
To be lauded by rock-icons tearfully summoned,
All hail! Your star will shine forever as the brightest diamond,
Farewell Charlie Watts, so many hearts lay broken.

© Robert Porteus
My modest tribute
124 · Nov 2020
My Love
Rob-bigfoot Nov 2020
As mighty Autumn winds blow, my love is stubbornly valiant,
And trees crash with utmost ease, my love is proudly fearless,
As the cruel Winter snow falls, my love is bravely defiant,
And faunae small and large hide, my love is dauntless.

As Spring floods wreak havoc, my love is storm-proof,
And as desolation follows desolation, my love is so heroic,
As Summer relentlessly burns, my love remains coolly aloof,
And as the licking flames run and run, my love is far too quick.

The seasons readily come and go,
This is heaven’s natural order,
Rain, storm, heat, frost, wind, snow,
For us to watch, marvel and ponder.

Many things prosper and then wither,
But my love – (be it icily cold, in an endless fiery haze,
or Biblical flood, in foul fogs that greedily smother) -
will endure until the end of all days.

© Robert Porteus
A bit sunnier than my last effort This Restless, Unquiet Love.
121 · Jun 2020
How I missed my drive-thru
Rob-bigfoot Jun 2020
Queuing in a rain-lashed drive-thru, I marvel at their efficiency,
Hour after hour, smile after smile, they wish me a happy day,
Too much ice again my cola!, as my bladder screams for a ***,
A drive-thru ****** would be a swell idea, I hear someone say,
But, what if I need a poo?, cheekily thinks me,
Perhaps then they will me a ***** day!

© Robert Porteus
Sorry, a bit of throwaway fun in these troubled times
113 · Dec 2020
Swanning about!
Rob-bigfoot Dec 2020
I am now an Honorary Fellow of a college somewhere,
But nobody tells me what I am to do! ******!
Best that I swan about, quietly munching on a pear,
Hang on! already do that, not giving a ****!

Too many pears, however, give me colic,
I double up in pain, that lasts all morning,
And bang goes my next naked frolic!
Perhaps swanning about needs a health warning?

No! what I lack is money, and possibly a purpose in life,
For sale! a barely used yak herder’s tent,
Mmm lovely! but not really me, better find a rich wife!
Then give up pears! and swan about, so smug and content.

© Robert Porteus
Sometimes I torture myself finding the right word or rhyme. The opposite with this.  A news item piqued my interest and I fired this straight off. Have not changed a word. Perhaps some will argue that I should! But such a relief to get something down on paper without too much stress or agony.
108 · May 2020
Bingo!
Rob-bigfoot May 2020
My first poetry baby steps!

Bingo!

Stretched out on his scaffold, **** this ****** ceiling, exclaimed Michelangelo,
Would be far better done in woodchip and vinyl matt,
So bored was he that he invented a game called Bingo!,
Full house! Full house! he cried out aloud, and then fell and landed
with an almighty splat.

© Robert Porteus
Bit of lighthearted fun
101 · Sep 2020
The Winter Queen
Rob-bigfoot Sep 2020
How pale our beloved Winter Queen, a king’s daughter so regal in velveteen,
Close to the hearts of all Bohemia, their own beautiful Ophelia,
Amidst strife and slaughter remains so serene, sentinel to a violence so obscene,
A perpetual fog of melancholia, a swirling panicked hysteria
How pale our beloved Winter Queen

White Mountain ends thy brief reign, The Hague becomes your exiled demesne,
Born into revered royal halls, sweet memory stirs of childhood *****,
In sadness you must remain, and witness a Thirty Years brutal campaign,
That pits father against son and truly appals, as blood flows like raging waterfalls,
How pale our beloved Winter Queen

How pale our beloved Winter Queen, a king’s sister whose fate she could not have foreseen,
Robbed of Frederick so dearly loved, 30 years of grieving and pious devotion to the Almighty above,
Returning to the land of your birth not seen since sixteen, your Restoration role only a fleeting scene,
Blessed is your dynastic treasure trove, as we still kiss your royal hand inside its bejewelled glove.
How pale our beloved Winter Queen

© Robert Porteus
A stab at something more serious and substantial. Always been fascinated by the story of Elizabeth Stuart, the Winter Queen.
91 · Aug 2020
Has Love Passed Me By?
Rob-bigfoot Aug 2020
I weep and weep again, a sad realisation, that love has passed me by,
Have I been unlucky, or was it my foolishness and conceit?
Ever seeking a perfection, an elusiveness I was too proud to deny,
My ardour and dreams have been pure deceit,
Has love passed me by?

Bitter tears flow and flow, and I angrily remonstrate, that love has passed me by,
Too late now, so many chances have faded, and lay dead,
My heart once full of hope, has long ****** happiness a painful goodbye,
I cloak myself in a fearful and perpetual dread,
Has love passed me by?

I spiral down and down, bitterly aware, that love has passed me by,
Do I have the courage to seek solace in the blade?
Or is there still a flickering light, that may yet herald a joyous lullaby,
I fall to my knees, and cry aloud, has someone heard my heartfelt serenade,
And perhaps love has not passed me by?

© Robert Porteus
My first stab at something more serious.  Not by usual throwaway style. Think I may have been listening to Leonard Cohen more than is healthy!
87 · Jun 2020
Blade Runner
Rob-bigfoot Jun 2020
In bounds the surgeon, scalpel aloft, in baton salute to Michael Johnston,
I await, wired in rainbow colours, a delicious lobotomy,
He booms booms his hellos, a cheerful echo of a cake crumbed Brian Johnston
My my this will be a job!, mmm yes there is an awful lot of me.

I admire his impeccable attire, head to toe, a neo Don Johnston,
Any last wishes he cheerfully asks, perhaps a nice cup of tea?
He circles and wafts scent and soap, courtesy of Johnston & Johnston,
As I slowly and slowly drift off into hyper monotony.

© Rob perspiring-poet
Another bit of nonsense.  In a silly mood today.  Cheered up today with news of a tax rebate!
82 · May 2021
Gold medal cowardice!
Rob-bigfoot May 2021
The piercing starlight in your eyes,
Shines ever so brightly in the deep pool of my tears,
The walls still echo with your goodbyes,
Is there anything or anyone to quell my fears?

Blade-like your icy soul stabs my heart,
And burrows so deep, that I must seek sanctuary,
From beasts that mock, then tear me apart,
Without a fight I succumb to their rabid butchery.

But this is cowardice, remorselessly piled on delusion,
There is no piercing starlight, because there is no you,
My walls echo only with lonely confusion,
No blade has been close enough, to rip my heart askew.

I would willingly embrace this ****** possibility,
And risk all, for just one chance of love.

© Robert Porteus
Hopefully the last of the Dark Stuff!. Cue for a glass of Guinness!
Rob-bigfoot Jun 2020
In hyperspace, how cool to be in a *******, as we hurtle towards the Sun,
But as the parsecs fly by, even such naughtiness becomes just a little boring,
We giggle and wish for an alien to join the fun,
Imagine our delight as a strange craft begins mooring.

Who, and what are you, we exclaim,
I am boy or girl, man or woman, ever willing and never beaten,
Will you join with us, we say in winking refrain,
Imagine our surprise, as we cheerfully entwine, and one by one are slowly eaten.

© Robert Porteus
Sorry! Just a bit of throwaway fun in these difficult days.
64 · Sep 2020
My Lost Loves
Rob-bigfoot Sep 2020
I remember, sometimes tearfully, my lost loves in fleeting, small pleasures –
In the warm, half smile of a stranger,
Or the musky fragrance of a fairy-tale dell,
In misty-eyed remembrance of a childhood manger,
Or the radiance of a sunset that gently whispers farewell

I remember, sometimes tearfully, my lost loves in fleeting, small pleasures –
In a stroll along the shore of Serendipity-by-the-Sea,
Or a glance at once shared rows of prose and poetry,
In pictures and photos that stir fond memory,
Or clothes I dare not discard, still arranged in perfect symmetry

I remember, sometimes tearfully, my lost loves in fleeting, small pleasures –
In postcards and letters, so beautifully written,
Or scent that still sweetly fills a room,
In cherished rings once exchanged, my I was so young and smitten!
Or spices and herbs, joyously used in meals always eager to consume

I remember, sometimes tearfully, my lost loves in fleeting, small pleasures –
In myriad CD’s, too rarely played, even some stray cassettes!
Or phone calls, often painfully hurried, with friends and family,
In the faintest lingering aroma from shamefaced cigarettes,
Or quirky cafes and bars, often chaotic but oh so lovely!

I remember, sometimes tearfully, my lost loves in fleeting, small pleasures,
But Dear Lord, I am at peace, these memories are sacred, holy treasures

© Robert Porteus
The feeling of loss is sometimes difficult to express. May be remembered in odd or trivial ways.

— The End —