Sunshine and relaxation. That’s what I was told I would get. I never realized that I would be coming home with a lot less. When I met you, I felt you look into my eyes and made it known you would have my heart as a home. When I kissed you, I never expected cigarettes to taste so good. You’ve got me wanting to smoke pack by pack trying to find your lips on the end of each and every filter. When you held me, I just laid my head on your shoulder and admitted defeat. You had won, swept me off my feet and stolen my heart. When we drank too much fireball and you told me you loved me, the only thing I could do was believe you. I would have never guessed that by the end of this trip, I’ll leave it all with you, 500 miles away. It’s my last day and I can’t keep from spilling my tears all over my laptop as I wonder what will happen from here. I will never forget the way your blue eyes twinkle and how I can stare in them all day. I love you. And I hope to see you soon.

My love told me to hold people so tight because they needed it, but it went behind my back and made me break all the ribcages of the boys I loved. I smothered them, and in a way I watched them die and drift away from me with no more than a simple, “I always knew you’d be too much.” My mind told me to do the same thing, keep repeating the same patterns. It wasn’t me that needed saving it was them. So I held on too long, savored every moment of every heart break. Which has led me to this path I’m on today. Making peace with all the boys I broke, mending all the broken bones that were scattered room to room. I am learning to love from a distance, but when the right one comes I’m sure he’ll know what to do with my love. Until then...

I've been so used to giving people things that don't belong to them that when you came around and deserved all of it, I forgot how much of a story my gifts told.  I gave away my blue eyes the first time I saw you walk down those steps, walk to my car and kiss me like I had never been kissed before. My ears were a gift so you know that anything you have to say is treasured in a folder in my mind called "my love." I gave you my palms so I could hold you when you felt like you had enough of the world for the day. I gave you my feet so if you ever feel like stepping out of your shoes I will gladly take them and give you mine instead. I gave you my heart with the hope I'd receive yours, and I did. It is never too good to be true. Maybe it is just true.