Zoe Byrd

Zoe Byrd Oct 2017

A girl with an eating disorder
With a monster trapped inside her
Drowning in a world of
Scales
Diet Pills
Alcohol
And perfection
Trying to reach out
And find the help that she so desperately needs
But instead she is met with
Disbelieving, supportive parents
Distrustful, but sometimes helpful staff
And anorexic, bulimic girls
Just like her
Girls along the same journey she is
On the road to recovery
Some get better
Some give up
Because you can not help a person
who does not want to be helped
It is not easy
Will never be easy
But she must push through the pain and suffering
Just like you and I have to

wrote this for a reading challenge at my school. inspired by J. J. Johnson's Believarexic (such a good book def recommend)

#eating #disorders #bulimia #anorexia #depression #recovery

Zoe Byrd Oct 2017

Song 10-6-17

The soft melody flows
through the speakers
and into our souls
Soothing our aching hearts
and worrying minds
The steady beat synchronising
with our own
Taking us away
into another world
Full of pale pastels
and soft tapestries
And fluffy clouds
and green green grass

Zoe Byrd Oct 2017

Zero

I met you through a friend of a former friend
And I found myself in you
All the insecurities and emotions I feel
I see reflected back at me
You put words to the thoughts and feelings I can't explain
You amaze me
Even if you're a disappointment to yourself
You're someone I can tell everything to
Someone who understands
because you go through, have went through the same stuff as me
And even more so
I found myself in you
And there are not enough words
that I could say to thank you enough for that

#friendship

Sep 2017

Sally A Bayan

UNMASKED

(Early Mornings)

It is 4:10 AM
Here i am, facing you...
Haven't showered...haven't brushed...haven't gurgled
Too early to look...but, i could not resist seeing
This person with disheveled hair
Eyes are not too willing to open
Avoiding the uncertainty surfacing...slowly but surely
Making itself known, this morning so early...
An empty shell, is what i could see
A looming nonentity...

No coffee yet, but, the eyes already speak
You don't answer, your looks are so bleak
That is how you tell me i am  stubborn
But i've been this way since birth...so torn
You tell me, i am just in denial
In front of you, it is like, i am on trial
But, i am just a mortal
Maybe we are both tired
How can we ever go back to being inspired?
Maybe you'd rather shatter into pieces...like i would,
I'd carefully gather your shards...would you gather mine, if you could?

Now, later, tonight, tomorrow...we always face each other
There are days, when i look at you, you make me smile, i feel better!
But, most times, i hate the reflections, they make me glare
And i so despise the thoughts that ensue...i counter your stare
..... I close my eyes, with a plea,
A blink could not erase, the images that i see..

I have never wanted separation
And yet, Fate brought me here, in isolation
You're my silent pal...my silent witness
You say nothing when i become senseless
I leave you in the morning
I come home from work in the evening
And i find you still here... on this wall
Welcoming me home...where i just sit, or stall
Faint jazzy sounds comfort me
A few hours rest...late at night...i sleep...i am free
Then, again, the alarm ruins the stillness of the moment
Robs the dawn of its precious silence
And i rise...to drown anew in despondency...in self pity,
Or is this lunacy?
All i see is gray...and black
Be it dawn...or dusk.

If  ever i surrender
I'd be swamped with the stark truth, the reflections you offer
...this can't be a facade,
...in front of you, it's just too bad

I am

U n m a s k e d...

....I am weak, powerless...i crawl
Over and over, i struggle not to fall,
Over and over, i  look at you... but, just the same..i fall.

         (January 22, 2015)

Sally

Copyright May 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

*** Depressing old notes......no happy endings here...
I heard, and wrote someone else's thoughts... never thought I would find myself in some situations within...***

#self #reflections #pity #uncertainty #lunacy #wall #despondency #nonentity #unmasked

Zoe Byrd Sep 2017

Phantom Limb

Have you ever heard of a phantom limb?
It's when someone loses an arm or leg,
but they still experience sensations
as if it's not gone.
It's kind of like when you lose someone.
You still remember their touch on your skin,
and how their hand fit perfectly in yours.
You remember how they smiled
and how it lit up the whole room.
You remember their voice and how the words
that came out of their mouth were perfect and so them.
You feel like they're still there.
But when you realize they aren't,
you experience the same agonizing pain and loss all over again.

#loss #pain

Zoe Byrd Sep 2017

The Game of Life

The game is not simple
But it's one we all play
Continuously
All day, everyday
Some of us know the rules
We conform to them
Let them mold us
Others make the rules
They break them
And instead, shape them
They change the game
Completely
They're the ones who set the pace
And when the pace becomes harder
Some players get left behind
Unable to keep up
They become stuck at a crossroads
A place between levels of sorts
They're unable to continue
Incapable of finding the key piece to the puzzle
But on the other hand,
A hand that holds a different controller
There are those who excel at the game
These new rules empower them
Enable them to become the best of the best
But then there are also players who try to cheat the game
when they can't keep up
They don't believe in themselves or their potential
They use cheat codes and abuse glitches
While this allows some to go to the next level
For others it means game over
Because when they are caught cheating
There's no going back
What's done is done
So you much choose your actions wisely
Because the game is hard and forever changing
All you can do is hope you find some hints and power ups
And maybe some other players to help you along the way

Zoe Byrd Sep 2017

Water and Gasoline

A poem is flowing liquid
Ready to take on the form of any mold you give it
It fills up the corners and curves
Of any thoughts you wish to preserve

A poem is water,
ready to put out the fires
Of burning tears
And hidden fears

But it is also true
When I say a poem is gasoline
Because it ignites your mind
And all the thoughts it may hold
It burns a hole
through weary souls
And it lets the love and hate
Flow out of golden, sometimes broken gates