Flash cards
Headaches
Studying for hours
Trying so hard
Just to be heard

Trying to make friends
Trying to be social
So difficult when your not normal
The things you have to tell yourself
To keep yourself together
"It's okay
Your okay
Everything's okay"
All lies

Concerned looks from your mother
As you say that yes, today was the same
You can tell she's trying not to cry
Guilty

Procrastination
Lack of motivation
Working so hard for this presentation
And for everything else
Even when it all gets deleted in my head immediately after

The crowded hallways
You can barely squeeze your way through
They're so loud
And full of people
Most yelling
Some banging on lockers
Jammed
Like my head

Painted spirals on the wall
Not as real as mine

From all these years questioning why I am alone?  Now I can simply answer, it was a choice I made that never made sense since until I see I was behind all closed doors.

Is the anguish in our heart burned along our body in hell
Do we hate god no more?
Is heaven a immoral ecstacy?
How could the sinless crave something so evil ?
As evil as the idea of heaven
Where we are to feast and the cries of those on hell reach our hearts no more,
Is heaven inhuman?
What of a sinner who sined against himself,
Will he be forgiven of the,
Sin of harm,
Sin of neglect,
Sin of distrust,
Sin of silence among the weeping in the crowd where he is found dead by his very own hands.

Every day I die a certain way,
My sky is isn't infinite needless to say,
But under a sky you live,
That's not abandoned and astray,
The stars are for you to perceive,
In the horror of night skies darkness,
In darkness I grieve,
My God is different,
Mine is indifferent,
Not a friend nor a foe.