I
Hate that I am sad all the time.
You
Should not have to put up with me.
I
Will just cut myself off from the world
You
Should just forget about me
I
Hate myself
You
Don’t even notice the pain anymore
I
Am close to the edge
You
Wouldn’t even notice if I was gone
I
Will miss
You

I’m losing myself
Or at least the lies
That build the walls
For two whole years
That keeps me sane
That kept me whole
Cause what he did
Did take a toll
Now the dice I roll
Tell me to speak
Leaving the pain at it’s peak
Cause words aren’t real until they are
And speaking them has left a scar
The kind that makes you question who you are
Leaving my sanity in its wake
And I can’t even catch a brake
And I know that I have made it far
But I’m numb inside …

And when I’m not
I’m waiting for my blood to clot
Apologies running endlessly
Cause I’m ashamed of who I am
I like the mask
I like the persona I devised
The one I built up on those lies
And now they’re gone and here I am
More broken then I’ve ever been
A burden to the only friend
I’ve ever told those cursêd words
That show you what I truly am...

The lies are happiness I fear
And who I am is nowhere near
Being anything but sad
And a little hurt
And a little mad
The walls I built came crashing down
Now at my feet
in them I drown
I need to heal my broken heart
And I do not know where to start
Plus my grades have missed their mark
And honestly I want to die
But I’m to ******* scared to try
Jumping off the edge to fly
So I sit here asking why?
And pondering to myself
who am I?

I’m feeling lonely I should text a friend
-No. You will just bother them-
But I like getting texts from my friends maybe they like getting texts from me
-Are you kidding that would imply that they actually think of you as a friend-
But they said I was their friend
-You ignorant **** they’re just making fun of the fat girl. You don’t even deserve friends-
Everyone deserves to have friends and be happy
-Yes everyone does deserve to be happy. Too bad you’re just a grotesquely obese pig-
I’m not really that fat am I?
-You look like a pig stuffed in an ice cream cone. You’re actually disgusting and should die alone-
Maybe you’re right.
-Of course I’m right. I’m you. Would I ever lie to you-
I think I should know if you did
-Exactly. So we’re agreed then you may never text your friends because they don’t deserve to have their time wasted due to a useless nobody like us-
Yes we’re agreed