I wonder what you’re thinking.
I wonder if you think of me often.
I wonder if you’re happy.
I wish for you to be safe.
I hope that you’re happy.
I hope you’re smiling.
I miss you.

*******

You’d be proud of me Askim.
I know it didn’t turn out how you wanted.
Work **** well saved me from destruction. From myself.
And I’ve been crushing it.
I may still get crushed, but **** me, I’ll die trying.
What else is there now that you’re gone forever?
There’s just an empty black hole. And a fire that burns me alive.

**

I associate sadness with you
Drinking makes me sad
Drinking brings me back you
A hollow, bottomless, throbbing feeling
After a while it feels almost reassuring
It may not be nice, but it feels like home
Comfort in its familiarity
My place to mourn you
Deep inside my hollow heart

I just want to make you proud

You broke me
I’m not normal
Not anymore

I’m still so angry
I’m so ******* angry

I feel like you wanted to hurt me

To get your revenge

There’s no other way

****

I broke

Again.