Why did you ghost me?
Why?
I knew you had to go.
We both knew you had so say goodbye.
Only you didn’t. You disappeared.
No goodbyes. Just silence.
Never in a million years did I expect that from you.

You tried to go quietly, yet you amplified the pain. Like feedback reverberating in my soul that still rings today.
I hear it in the quiet moments. Ringing in my ears. Throbbing in my heart. Darkness in my soul.
Why?

You thought you were doing the right thing but you ******* ripped my soul out.
You should have known. You did know.
My ikizim would not have done that...

I always said you wouldn’t get a third chance to burn me. You ******* won’t.

Do you even miss me?
Do you even think of me?
Do you even give a ****?
I guess I’ll never know...

I miss you, my friend.
I miss my friend.
We were so much more. We were more than words can describe.  
But it’s your friendship I miss the most...
You always said we couldn’t just be friends. Maybe so.
But It’s your friendship I miss the most...
No one knew me like you. No one knows you like I did. That’s still true. We both know it.
But It’s your friendship I miss the most...
I’d trade almost anything to be friends again.
I know it won’t be.
Self preservation is stronger than all traits.
And you have that stronger than most.
So be it.

I miss you...

You don’t deserve these poems
You deserve the silence you enforced upon me
I write these for me and me only
My private refuge. Just me and pain

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened
The silence. The cold
Like a train wreck so mangled it’s impossible to know where it begins and ends

I can remember the exact moment I realised
Realised you’d gone... again
Gone and broken every promise we’d ever made
Flung me into darkness

You saved yourself
Did what you had to do
I took advantage of you

Hold your head high
You took care of it
Nothing to see here
Just a train wreck

Long gone
No longer smouldering
Just a dull throbbing
An eternal sadness
Once Was Askim.

I understand what you needed to do
It’s how you did it that ripped my heart out

I always supported you
I was always there for you

You turned your back on me
Cut me off
Cut me down
Like I was nothing

I’ve never hurt like that
It took me to the brink of life

That pain is still with me after all these years
A dull throbbing deep in my heart
An eternal sadness
Once was Askim
No more