Nostalgia

Nostalgia Nov 2024

Doubt

Do the words that come out of my
mouth sound like a string of expletives?
Does my perfume stick so closely to my
clothes that it is sickening?
Every time you hear the rattle of a
key chain, do you worry it might be me?
Do I sicken you?

#doubt #innerself #thoughts #sick #sickening

Nov 2024

Liana

Someone is suffering

While I laugh
Someone is crying

While I dance
Someone just found out they lied

While I can't sleep on my bed
Someone wishes they had a blanket

While I eat
Someone starves

While I walk
Someone loses their parent

While I live
Someone dies

When I remember,
I wish them to feel better
I send them some of my momentary joy
Because maybe
That's how miracles are born

I feel bad that I'm the lucky one, so I do what I can even if it does nothing, and is just a small thought

Not one of my best 😬

Nostalgia Nov 2024

Different & Normal

To be different is a privilege.
To be normal makes you survive.
Normal is just a label. Different is a label too.
One is labeled bad. While the other one is good.
To stand out and to blend in.
To bully or be the bullied.
We are not too far off from each other.
We are just labeled.

#different #normal #label #good #bad

Nostalgia Nov 2024

Hate

I trusted you.
A bond that is supposed to last until my adulthood.
And you took it from me.
I used to think it was normal.
But now I hate you.
I hate your presence, your touch, your speech.
I don’t understand if you are lying to me again.
Blackmailing me.
So I won’t let you bring me back down again.
I will fight. Until this life is no longer mine to keep.

#anger #trust #hate #bond #lies

Nostalgia Nov 2024

A life that once was mine.

A puppet for you to use as you please.
Each string tied around limbs
Preventing the steps of my free will.
Did I ever have a mouth to speak with?
Or was it you who just drew it on my face?
I believed I was yours. You thought I was yours to take.
Perhaps we both were mistaken.
But this life is no longer mine to live.
So I will let you have it.
I will become the lifeless puppet you needed.
And just maybe,
you won't forget me.

#puppet #life #freedom #relationships #memory

Nov 2024

Liana

I must not be him

I constantly need to check myself
Make sure I'm not turning in to him
I need to be more self aware
Then he'll ever be

I never want to make anyone feel
Anything close to the way he did to me

I've grown up seeing that example, it fear it will impact me. The tendency towards mental illness is genetic, and it's already started to latch on to me. I refuse to let take me as it did him. I must be different. I will not be him.