Picking up the pieces
To put myself back together
My worth just the same
But my spirit is fractured
The pain can't be measured
But my suffering will never be forgotten
Lonely yet surrounded by people
So many options nonetheless I remain lifeless
The whole world in my hands and still I feel so empty
Left to pickup the pieces
▪-▪

Forbidden fruit left untouched
Longing to be tasted
Casted aside, undevoured

Wishing it will soon be desired
Ripe and prepped
Waiting to be feasted upon

It's efforts are forsaken
Neglected and yearning
Unsatisfied with insatiable thirst...

▪-▪

At peace with my demons
Free from temptations
Finally awakened
Never forsaken by the God that created me

Thinking about what the future holds for me
Healthy as I can be
Manifesting who I aspire to be
●-●

Forgotten words I meant to write
I only wonder where they go
Things lost and never found
Where are they now?
Forever gone and spoken once
The little phrases that meant a lot
Words that were meant to be written
are just lost...
▪-▪

Heart covered in ice
Feelings completely numb
Mind overwhelmed by thoughts
Stomach aching in pain
Nose bleeding
Head feeling dizzy
Insomnia constantly taking over
Tears never fleeting
Mouth lost for words
Ears ringing loudly
Soul shattered into pieces
Chest hurting
Love a figment of my imagination
Lust fighting for control
Depression never ending
•-•

Feelings spiraling
Heart Arching
Eyes shutting
Breathe depleting
Thoughts fading
World changing
Eyesight worsening
Mind wondering
Sleep approaching...
▪-▪

Can you write happy poems
he says but happiness or at least when i experience it I can't describe the feeling of being happy

I know that happiness shouldn't be take for granted it doesn't stick around for very long or it can appear in intervals but at the end of the day it still lingers as it fades away
•-•

Keys being struck by my heart strings
Typing what comes to mind
Words emerging from the soul
Typing the words formed by my heart
Stanzas written by mere feelings
Typing the sorrowful feelings that torment me
Lines developed from discarded thoughts
Typing the words I've always wished to say but couldn't
Typing...
▪-▪

Some ones warmth to melt my frozen heart
Another hand to wipe my never ending tears
Ears to listen to me screaming inside
Lips to tell me its going to be okay
A beating heart to understand how lonely I truly am
•-•

Walking through the rooms of my mind
Wandering until I find the right door
There are many doors to choose from with opportunities or consequences
Tempted to not open any doors at all
I am lost
Decisions I fear to make that may result in dismay
Which path should I take to finally liberate myself from this dilemma
What door shall I choose?
▪-▪

Looking for a sign...
To guide the way
Searching for where I fit in
Where do I belong?
▪-▪

I dreamed about him I thought it would make me happy
At first it felt like a fairytale but then it turned into a nightmare
In the end he left me... In the dream
Later on he soon left me... In real life
It was a warning in disguise
I saw it coming but I ignored the signs
•-•

Maybe somewhere out in the universe
Things might have gone differently
Would i have ever gotten a chance to truly be with you
Our realities have shifted, and our dreams have changed
How long will it take you to notice that I feel the same way
In this universe I've made my mistakes hopefully in another timeline you loved me anyway
•-•

Tired of everything
Acting as if everything if fine
Pretending to be happy
Working just to eat
Feeling frustrated
Not having a goal
Not really living
Feeling anxious
Faking a smile
Losing hope
Being alone
Tired
▪-▪

Halfway empty
Constant frustrations
Supressed thoughts
Devastation
Hesitating

Found purpose
Losing myself
Under tears
Staying complaisant
Forgetting myself
Starving for life

Setting myself up for failure
Ruining anything good in my life
Hurting myself in long run
Destroying my feelings before anyone get a chance
Isolating myself from helpful hands
Thinking of ways to make myself miserable
I'm set to self destruct...
Wishing for the worst to find me
Running away from my happiness
Hiding from good opportunities
Starting this dreadful life of routines
Fearing that I won't have a future
Ending any chances of me finding love
Self destruct...
▪-▪

How do i know if he truly loves me
Are love is too far
I can only see his words
The distance is frustrating

The temptation is tempting
I wish to see his hand in mine
Are actions can't be seen
How do i know if i could trust him
•-•

Birthed my own happiness
Making life worth living
My day, my night, my everything

His laugh
His little hands
His sparkling eyes
His unbiased curiosity

Consumed by expectations
Worried about my imperfections
My sun, my moon, my world

A world of lies and pretend
Adults who act like children
Children being more mature than adults
Being told driving is a necessity when it kills the most
Having to build credit because the money we earn is useless without it
Money being the root to all our problems but it can't make us happy
We're all going to die one day and we're told to work for the rest of our lives instead of enjoying it
We live in a world of hopelessness
▪-▪

She use to love us unconditionally but now her love for us is fading into a vast sea of nothingness
Even though I wasn't what she desired i tried to be more like her, i wanted to shine in her eyes as she did in mine
She was Bobby Flay in the kitchen and a confident woman about how she wanted things to be in her house
When mom lost her job I lost the best mother ever it was never the same
My Bobby Flay never stepped into the kitchen again
My confident mother fell into the depths of depression, she sanked that's how i knew I lost her
She lost the twinkle in her eyes, the spark that gave her purpose
The constant days she stayed in bed locked away from the world so it wouldn't hurt her
The endless amount of pills that she gave up on, she was no longer happy
The goodnight kisses disappeared with her
Shes alive but truly dead inside
My mother was gone
She's had her ups and downs but this broke something deep inside her
She was never the same again...
•-•

Yearning proximity
Craving meaning
Building conversations
Communicating emptiness
Assuming labels
Losing hope
Forgetting reason
Feeling lost
Longing for a companion...
▪-▪

Finally, they see me...
Recognize my efforts
See my hard work
Notice that I'm worth it
See me for who I truly am
Realize that I deserve more
They finally see me...
▪-▪

Free from my past
Leaving negative energy behind
Cutting off old ties
Mentally in a better place

Taking my time
Letting the world pass me by
Enjoying life with a big happy smile
Hopefully I'll be around for awhile
▪-▪

A roof over my head
My own room with privacy
A job to keep me afloat
Money to remain stable
A bed that keeps me warm
Clothes that cover me
A family to grow old with
Food that leaves me full
A neighborhood to explore
The world to travel
An educational institution that challenges me
New knowledge to absorb
A healthy lifestyle
Free from sickness
A full life ahead of me
Time to fulfill my dreams
●-●

Dreams and goal that never existed
Loving the peace of living freely without expectations and limitations
Unable to picture what my future might be

Never thinking I'd make it this far
Stuck standing still when everyone else is moving

Feeling left behind
failing to catch up
No dreams in sight
A bird without wings
▪-▪

Tears Shed
Week of Red
Heart Broken
Enduring Pain
Unfair Treatment
Torturous Cramps
Birthing Little Lives
Unspoken Thoughts
Complicated Feelings
Traditional Upbringing
Inexplainable Hormones
Swallowing Pain Relievers
Constantly Underestimated
Assigned Stereotypical Roles
Told to Listen and not to Speak
Looked Down Upon by the World
▪-▪

I can't define it
Nor have I seen a good example of it
It can be mistaken for lust
Which I have done many times before
This word or feeling called 'love'
Is foreign to me
It is scientifically irrational
A feeling that many have told me that I'm incapable of feeling
I envy those who are in love
It's something I truly desire
▪-▪