It eats you away inside out
It nibbles away at your pleasure
it feasts away on your dreams

It laughs at your issues
It toys with your emotion
It plays with your heart.

Your hearts raises
Your hand tremble
Your stomach drops

There is nothing you can do
But pluck your hair out of your head
Because the silent killer is here
Waiting to take you to the door.

Often wonder and ponder the thought
                  “Have I lived up to what I’ve been taught?”
I’ve learned from the best
I have my faults
Is my best enough?
Even through my faults?

Always question and strive for more
The bigger the task, the higher the score
Always look for something more
The better the outcome will be
If you just “try” a little more...

Dear God, i am writing to you in desperation
As i lay in this hospital bed expecting to die
I am not ready for my life's expiration
I am not ready to lay and say goodbye

For a couple of years now i thought death was the answer
I have proof of the canceled orders that I made
The receipts of scars left on my body before the cancer
I assume the funds were insufficient in the cuts I paid

After the dark I was grateful for never having enough
I found that i have people there for me through it all
I have dreams and goals and ways to deal when its tough
I have climbed so high i am not ready to fall

Please God I'm begging you not to **** me
I have a plan for life now and death isn't a part
I wanna feel true love, have kids, and be happy
This time is just the beginning of a beautiful start

Love,
................

I'm not brilliant
I'm just OK
I'm not rainbows
I'm just rain