His love was,
Soft like the rain on a foggy morning,
Mesmerizing like a summertime sunrise,
Calming like a cool breeze through the autumn trees,
Safe like your favorite blanket after a scary movie,
Warm like holding your favorite mug full of tea in your hands,
And it was mine,
Until it wasn't.

The feelings I feel are so confusing to me
No matter what I do I can't make them leave
They hit me and yell and scratch till I bleed
Always around, bringing me to my knees
I feel them in my skin, they buzz in my brain
Mentally I'm in the street laid out in the rain
They rip out my nails and tap dents in my collar bones,
Force me back to my room where I just lay all alone,
Darken my eyes, drain the color from my face
The creature now in the mirror I look at with disgrace

There's an ache in my chest
That travels through my bones
I can't get any rest
I feel so alone

I feel like I could split open
Even bleed out on the floor
Would my eyes finally close then
Not feeling this pain anymore

I know it'll go away
I've felt this before
But it brings me so much shame
When I can't get off of the floor

Everything's on the surface
Any deeper I start getting nervous
But your voice is so calming,
Your vulnerability enthralling

NO, I can't let you know me
I can't let you see
I can't let you find out
I'm 95% self doubt

My favorite color is green
At times I can be mean
I still watch Disney movies
-why does it feel like you're looking right through me?

And I'll preach I'm an open book
Lay it out, have a look
But the more you flip my pages
And start to see where the rage is-

The book will be snatched
The relationship crashed
You'll wonder why,
You might even cry

It's nothing to mourn
Don't be forlorn
Let's not get disheveled
Baby I'm just surface level