I’m the politician you elected, you put me here.
And the amount of power you gave me
is something you should fear

I shall now stand around in a high-viz vest
Because ignoring every current crisis
Is what I do best.

I could explain why there’s a hole in the ground where a new
children's hospital should be
Or why the country’s no closer to plastic free.

I could explain why all the houses I promised are late,
But instead I think I'll just boast about
How I single handedly defeated the 8th

I'll take every opportunity to stand above my peers.
I'll stare into the face of my victims
Smile, ignore their tears.

Maybe if I'd experienced this, I'd feel more empathy,
But I've modelled my conscience
After Stormont; empty.

Because I am not homeless or a refugee
I'm just the politician you elected,
With no progress for you to see.

Have you considered crying,
The numerous voices say?
Use their guilt at your pain
To make them go away.

How do I get them to stop talking
When grief keeps me in bed?
They can say nothing worthwhile
About the fact my brother is dead.

While you struggle with picking
The emoji for my text,
I struggle with the hymns with
Which my brother should be blessed.

And while you struggle with finding
The right thing about me to say.
I must pick a coffin in which
My brother will lay.

How can you say nothing?
When I just disappear?
I'm not coming to school
I haven’t smiled in a year.

How can you say such nonsense?
Such ******* to my face?
About how you hate your siblings
I wish I could take your place.

Don't you see I wish to hate him?
But now that he has let go,
Don’t you see how those words hurt me?
That there’s something you should know?

That I considered crying,
To make you go away.
Contemplated emotional blackmail
To stop the thoughtless things, you say.

And of course, there will be crying
Because he was precious to me.
My face awash with tears
That for some reason you can’t see.

And even if you see them,
There’s nothing to be said
Because words still fail to fix this
And my brother is still dead.

Christmas is a happy time,
So warm and cosy
But last year all I felt
Was that I was lonely.

Can’t look at dried mango
Or make gingerbread.
Can’t consider meringues without
The time we made them green and red.

No exciting Christmas mornings
With your messy curly hair.
No ridiculous cocoa recipes
Because you are not there.

I don’t get to buy you a present
That I'll worry that you’ll hate.
No advent calenders and arguing
About who ate which date.

Putting up decorations together
Should be done merrily,
But I took those down the day you died
And that memory still haunts me.

And Christmas for us was always
Eating far too much desert.
Now it’s listening to your favourite songs
And trying not to get hurt.

For Christmas is a happy time
A time for family
But there’s an extra place set at the table,
Just where you should be.

And I won't ever get to see you again.
Just where you should be,
Because in a time reserved for miracles
We had our Christmas tragedy.