I thought I felt the rain

was I imagining
the feeling
of my shoulder
my cheek
raindrops
caressing my body

sometimes I lose myself in
past memories
I forget reality

sometimes I stay paralyzed
for a while

I thought
a thought
you thought

nevermind

I can't feel it
I'm so selfish
I'll never feel it

another morning comes

do I have to wake up

will it rain
can I imagine it

the lost feeling

The old days
where I hated everyone
now all I hate is myself

The old days
where I wanted to jump out the window

Is
now me closing them to keep myself inside

My mind is over flowing
with secrets and lies

years ago
I felt this heavy feeling

Is it back

I don't hate anyone
I don't love myself enough

I find reasons to stay
hold onto them
with a grip so tight
I'm left with bruises

It's still better
than not waking up
to another morning

my grip is slipping,
and falling scares me.
my world is fading away.
h      
          e
                     l
                             p
       m
                 e

h
          e
                    l
                          ­     p
          m
                     e

writing was an escape but even now words slip off the paper like tear drops.

I see things from the corner of my eye
I've never told anyone that

shadows
walk
back and forth
on my front porch

a man
a lost woman

the monster under my bed
now lies beside me

when you asked me an important question
I lied to you

be happy
it wasn't to your face

camouflaged in the dark
If I see things
I should be their friend

Your God blessed me with no sound

I'll never hear the shadows
walk around me

The sound of rain
falling on
the ceiling
/ \ \

My ears are hurting
from my recent piercing

I've been ignoring someone
that I know I'll talk to in a few days

The street outside
is flooded

everyone has gone to sleep
and have nothing to dream of

I can hear the rain fall
the puddles with rain drops

There is no storm

no lightning

Just me
and the heavy clouds

Let me sleep now

in a dream full of rain

Never did I imagine myself
living so lonely

That my friends have slowly become
my plants
stray cats
the stars

and the sky

I never imagined
this life
for us

Wherever it takes us
let us hear the rain
survive the heat
and cold

I won't promise
I don't hope

I just want to grow closer
over time

Make memories
for distant days