Listening to music,
eating a hot pocket
drinking coffee,
at 11 at night
messy bedroom,
needs cleaned
Notes for school need finished,
filled out on a wrinkled piece of paper
need to be up at six,
won't go to bed until three,
just scrolling hellopoetry
and having a normal night
eating hot pockets and drinking coffee
wondering why even if she tried,
she couldn't sleep
helping people with their problems
when she can't even help herself
she takes another sip of her coffee
and starts again,
waiting until six a.m
until the time she has to get dressed and leave,
socialize with human beings
try to learn something,
because knowledge is good,
but not learning anything because her mind is elsewhere,
poetry, self hate, daydreaming, anything
she takes the last bite of her hot pocket,
drinks her coffee,
and says
"I swear it doesn't get any better than this"
with a small chuckle.

He plastered the words across my face
& permanently wrote them in my mind.
I tried to play off like, I don't mind.
Inside, I'm screaming ... But why?
He only wanted my body, and had forgotten about her face.
Her pure beauty, and her grace.

Near death stories
Are not death tales.
The widow's daughter,
In Nairn, to whom
Did she speak?
In Bethany,
Near Galilee,
Where Lazarus
Learned to talk,
Who asked him
On his walk,
With his dog on a
Sunday afternoon?
Jarius' daughter
Would like to offer
A quote and goat
At the altar
Of atonement.
She was never asked,
So she never spoke.
The scribes never scribbled
To answer the riddle;
They never went to press
With the Extra Big Scoop
On life after death
From the three
Who knew best.
Never recorded for all time.
Never a word from their minds.
Would they tell of a
Long lit tunnel
Lined with familiars
Slapping their astral *****
As they ran the gamut
Into eternity.
Nearing the Eternal Throne,
They hear:
     It's not your time.
     Go back for more.
     Keep the secrets,
     Believe in Him,
     For he won't
     Live to be thirty-four.

And so it's not written,
Let it be so.

I don't know how to cover the miles,
Hell, I don't even quite know how I feel,
But I know that tonight we're both alone.
I wish I could just hold your hand,
Hold you close and tell you, "I'm here."
Physically transcending the miles between
Seems impossible for you and me.
How do you hold broken bones together;
How do you dig one grave in two places?
We're buried under the rubble together,
But I can't grab on to you darling.
How can we keep each other from sinking?
We can't even sink with one another.
I just want to be able to kiss your cheek,
And show you I'm real and here for you,
But I don't know how to cover the miles...
Hell, I don't even quite know how I feel.
I just want us to stop having to be alone.

My late Grampi used to say 'flat rock'
In the mountains when one appeared
And flat rocks taught me to be still
And actually take in the mountains
To stop rushing through the hike
And just stop and breathe for a second
In life I want to stop rushing
Let things flow like a lazy river
Find more flat rocks in life to lay on
And help more people lay with me