My mind truly never leaves you
you give me such peace
the only wish I still pray for
is your desire for me to never cease

022410~7.08a

In reply:
As I open my eyes to the gentle light
My thoughts remain in their rightful place
The touch from your hands
The look on your face
My body yielding to the remains
of our last embrace
My heart held safe in the knowledge
that my love is where it should be
And knowing that you love me.
-Lesa Renee 022410~7.5a

My love for you
grows deeper and faster
As a stream narrows
through winding pasture.
Seemingly calm
so slow and serene
Yet, torrents rage
just underneath....

021210 ~ 7.05a

Always wondered
what it'd be like to be
the one you came home to
the one you see
when those eyes open
to the morning sun
what it'd be like
to be the one
you kissed good-night
and held to tight.
I've only known you
at a distance
never pulled you close
without resistance.
I understand.
I accept my role.
I'm only a piece
of what makes you whole.
I'm not your life;
you're not my wife.
It's never "just us,"
it's deadlines and lust.
It's sharing my love
through stolen moments;
given my fantasy
and allowed to own it.

I want to make you scream
at a moment's demand
but I only get whispers
when you're with your man.
Limited time
to touch and fear
Unlimited rhymes
to draw you near
But, even these
have turned to guilt
and the white flowers of passion
are beginning to wilt.
My rhymes are my life
and I'm showing you inside
my passionate anger & pain
only because you cry.
It weeps inside,
my precious pain,
it colors my days
like Portland rain.
The color of our love
within all shades of grey
bittersweet winter skies
hold my life in sway.

012110~11.37p

Prayers to a distant goddess
Herbal offerings blazed
Time passes so slowly
within a starving priest's haze

011810

Playfully, on my *****
did her ******* painfully prance
teasing us...then tangled together
promising to tell those thoughts forever
My heavy hands
   hovering high over
   your hips:
It's so **** to see
   such a salaciously slow
   spanking.

120609~9.3p

I'm so full of desire
for you--my only thought,
my single focus and only want
Dominates my mind
like a true lover ought.
My body aches
and pulls me inside you;
My skin, my eyes, my taste
are all alive for you.
I lay here naked, desireful--
Dreams of only your skin;
waiting, burning, hoping
that you're breakfast again.

010210~8.15a

Constantly in my mind,
this little kitten,
begging
for a petting
(she ends up bitten.)
I growl,
   she purrs.
I howl
   for her curves
and the screaming of her nerves.
I pet her
and bathe her
in lustful adoration;
I spank her
then take her
with Daddy's impatience.

120909~9.57p

She blesses me /
Caresses me
with her eyes;
With her thighs
she lights my fire;
She fights my ire
with submissive kisses;
With possessive wishes
she claims my soul.

120209~11.51a

I wake
To an ache
Deep within
My sinful soul
And it's you,
Only you, who
Can fill this
Empty hole.

I need you.

120309~8.44a

Dawn.
The Enemy.
Murderer of my most sensual dreams.
Thief of my dance with death
Interrogator with light and exposure as weapons
Dawn comes too fast, too soon,
and with too much force
when all of my desire wants nothing more
than to writhe in Stygian fantasies
for the rest of my existence.
-Lesa Renee

In response to "Dawn"

Dusk.
The Protector/the Temptress.
The Twilight Goddess consuming the fire
her black shawl darkening the sky
   with looming desire
spread from her hellish cave, forlorn.
She beckons with lust within devilish dance
consuming my soul with her smells,
   taste, skin, eyes and hands.
Her torturous reward
   as I scream for your skin
is to allow but a glimpse
   of my fallen goddess' silhouette of sin.
112209~5.22p

Cold is setting in to the city
as this feeling seeps in
   so deep.
Mists of misery engulf me
and grey once again covers the skies
filtering the color and joy from my eyes.

I've grown so tired
so alone
so mired in my misery.
I get ******
I breathe a little softer
I think a little less
about how I feel.

I conjure images of mountains
and me on top
a teetering soul dying to lean
just enough to the side
then I'll slip & drop.

The sweet end to this
would be so welcome.
I'm tired of hurting;
tired of this ******* pain.
I'm sick of wishing it were over

101309~5.9p

Still riddled with holes
straight through my soul
An empty longing
A hollow belonging
I miss it all
(except the ****)
I yearn for an escape
yet, I can't stay lit
I'm so lonely
I'm scared to form a bond
Grasping so firmly
to something so insubstantial
is nothing but a trainwreck.

070909~6.51p

My sweet love
captured by a bug
oh, that I could chase it away,
bringing the light back to your day.
I'll give you kisses,
though I may catch it, too.
You have all my well-wishes
to help get you through.
I'll grab the bunny veg
(and some soup for you)
Just tell me, my love...
I'll do whatever I can do
to bring back your happiness
within that sweet Summertime Sadness.
........................................................­...................

061715~7.23a

My mind sways this morning
like the tops of tall trees
My fingers across your skin
as the breeze caresses through the leaves
Each one touching and bending
to connect with another
A sweet good-morning
to awaken my lover

061615~6.57a

Now, forever with
the one true for me
Time's slow gift
took so long to see:
Our hearts wouldn't shift
no matter how free
or how wide the rift
or how deep the sea.

050115~1.36p

I want to reach out
pull you back
     into my life
To bear the obligatory
     anger
to revisit the reasons
I shut us out
Both selfish and selfless
because I love you
     and because I still love you.
Because happiness for you
was threatened by me
because however selfishly I wanted
and because it is never to be.
You are a dream, an ideal
an immortal muse
that should not be real.
But, selfishly, I desire.
Selfishly, I'm weak.
Because god ******* ******
I need you to speak!
I need those words that ignite passion inside me
I need the sound of your breath
so that I may breathe.
I need the stare that
looks deep, then down and away...;
that bitten lip....
that timeless face.
We share stomach scars
and we stared at silent stars
I miss the intensity
   that Distance knew as ours.
I need the unique bond
I've only found with you,
my inspiration.
     My goddess
          my friend,
               my muse.

033109~5.03p

I find that,
           sometimes,
a rhyme helps
           soothe me.
An internal,
       verbal assurance
that there's still
        something beautiful
inside me.

033009~5.1p

...her eyes shine in my dusk
as a sunset burns the horizon
Her teeth flash
        as lightning
hidden beneath her smile.

2008

I have been feeling a faint gradient creeping
darker into my life the past few weeks.
Maybe, in the depths of our unbreakable,
unknown sub-earthly ties,
you are infecting me again
with your violently sweet muses.

I revel
in light-buzzed day-fantasies
of when I would lay naked,
pouring out my soul in mixes
of alcohol & your breath's lull.

No one has ever spoken to me
without speaking
or touch me so deeply
with only breathing.

Your presence is eternal within
me, no matter how quiet the storm becomes.

The eye of your fury
brings only silence and calm.
Bursting forth within a Lycian resonance,
memories flood my soul;
your skin stains my eyes
and my hands dance forth
with another remembrance of who we were
and who we will always be.

Even time does not separate what blood has joined.
You will always flow through me
deeper than life, and more truthful than I can see.

072706~5p

Revelatory speaking
listening to breathing
trying to slow
down to a "no."
Alluring consequences
blurring rationale
left with unchoosable choices
that society will allow.

An All or Nothing mindset
keeps us blind to a cage
that filters every word
we hold as God's page.
Contradictions clearly concealed
between the Old and the New
How can there be love
when there's a hell just for you?
041505~2.15p

Finding time to feel the rhyme
beyond the mind...
                      Within.
               Inside.
Feeling my breath
   within my words
hearing my thoughts...
   reverb

What I hear is you.
Your beauty, your touch,
your eyes, your face
your voice, the space
your spirit takes
   within my heart,
your hair on my cheeks
your lips on my lips
we fit.

030605~11.44p

Oh, how soft could I love?
Spring trees in their
   glowing green
could not sing the scene
of the passion I'd share.
Lips have not moved
in such supple
    sweet speech
to touch upon the blushes
hidden beneath those fair cheeks.

I'm finding rhyme within
rhythm's soothing sigh
and longing to belong to
the skies within your eyes.
013105~6.05p

Closing my eyes
to see a dawn inside
the technicolor rain
and floating shapes
are all I see.
I try to look harder
--deeper within--
I try to search for something
that can't be seen
Lost for moments
until I open my eyes
the tears stay hidden
instead,
I sigh....
122304~5.4p

Deep oceans of sadness
swelling and churning
threatening to capsize
all that I am
My throat speaks lies
I'm not ok.
The darkness looms
in the salty skies
My flesh grows weary
of holding itself together
I just need to cry
myself to sleep within
eternal blankets of darkness.
Comfort comes with sleep,
agony with waking.
I'm proud I'm not a sheep
but, just like them, I'm faking.
Mindlessness, hand in hand with joy
I feel alone, though friends abound
I need to cry, but
can't scream a sound.

Why am I like this?
Why so sad?
Why does my life feel so...
futile?
My words are slowing
my pen, failed.

My life struggles on
the front continues
my smiles have faded
into a dawnless dusk.

****.
122304~1.57p

Growling
tearing inside at loose pieces
angry at unjustified bitterness
that sweeps me from my peak
   Lost in whirlwinds
   that scatter debris
   like tiny blossoms
   of glistening glass
So beautiful and bright
right up to the moment
when it hits and becomes
part of me
shredding me like a dream
waking to find the loved ones
left behind are forgetting me.
How could something so perfect
be upsetting to me?

I'm lost in a disappearing act
wrapped in blood-stained curtains
that never pulled back
never exposed
never revealed
*******! I want this overbearing pain SEALED.
122304~11.4a

Where's the life
we all long to live?
Why are we all pushing
why do we take but never give?
I have no faith in my fellow man
I have no say in this butcherous land
I've nothing but shame
for where I stand
Yet, I'm no more shameless
for doing nothing but blaming.

It's so hard not to give up.
I try so hard to end up
so disgusted.
It seems a waste.
Even the trees that were felled
to make this book
they deserved this Earth
more than I.
102804~7.01p

Through the waves
I'm crashing
over
the sound of receding
blades
sinking slowly out &
away
drawing me open
I'll pretend I'm saved

Unlucky us
cut too quickly
violated trust
sanguinely separating
flesh
It means so much
to be connected
in physical planes
Even the sky
must touch the earth
Is that why we're closer
whenever it rains?
I know that I love...
and I know that I miss...
my reminder's this pain
and it comes like your kiss.
080504~2.17p

Don't watch me go
it's not forever
only our love bears that badge.
I close my eyes because you fill them
I need to see
beyond the dreams
past you
surrounding me
you fill my pain
like warm Southern rain
shed from the eyes of a goddess
Your heart will forever be
a sacred shrine
And my offerings
will always bleed
and flood the floors
of your divine temple
You have my prayers
and I have your soul
there is no forgetting
without you, there is no whole.
Your secret place is ours
with enshrouded chests
and beating *******
I am with you for hours
alone in our minds
connected
writing parallel lines
but in time....
In time we'll connect again
physically ~ abusively
you'll have me to yourself
and you'll cry
at all the time that's gone by
we weren't living this lie
but now we cry
because we could've tried.
Now we're tired
way too soon
like a slow pounding rain
turning to monsoon
Sweeping away possessions
and cares and loves
leaving us with nothing
but time and ****.

What more did we want?
080404~7.41p

Lost
     Lovers
          Losing
               Linguistic
                    Lusts...
Is this us?
forever tied
     to the tongues'
          receding tide
Lying on our backs
     staring into the sky
Letting the salt wash over
our sentimental dreams
I think I'm saying good-bye.
080304~6.04p

We immerse ourselves within
simplistic sin
speak unholy rites
to worship again
Our hands clasped
and teathered tightly
we tug & tease
into our temple of flesh.
Screams and chants
fill these halls
unending confessions
scraped into the walls
coming in unison
is our communion
opening wide for our
lustful sacrament.

With prayers offered up
against our sinful second nature
our lips are parting
within salty showers
and union is torn
as our spirits rip apart.
Why, then, is this
"following our hearts?"
070904~5.52p

Touch your blade
   then touch me
past my defenses
   you're all I can't see
filling my mind until this void collapses upon itself
and you become the reality

I'm not aware of the bleeding
   unless this infinite screaming inside my skin
is not the world trying to reach in
   and steal your touch

Kiss your razor
   across my soul
Please ~ drag it  s l o w l y
                        let me savor
                              the sting.

Come, now, kiss the tears
I've bled for years in silence
pools just under the surface
lying dormant within the violence
   of being too far away.
070504~4.27p

Burns inside like I'm alive
I'm not afraid to die ~ not afraid to try
afraid of leaving this place tonight
afraid of ripping my soul in two
~half to keep my body alive
~half that stays here with you
An infected touch
   that brings addiction
a neverending hunger for
   just one more touch
a never-bending desire for
   what I need so much
070304~9.25a

I'm dreaming
seamless
visions surround me
your arms around me
once again
   and until the end
let us be friends
until the Earth burns
   around us
   and within us
Let the sun consume
   our promised flesh
and allow the moon
to marry the rest
within a night of screaming souls
our world is old
so starts anew
our scorched supernova
revolves around you.
070304~9a

Alone,
in the breath of Mother, I pace
I wait.
I know of her coming;
it is inside me.
She is inside me.
Yet, I have never smelled her scent,
nor drank of her life.
I know of her like I know of the moon.
     I am pulled
into her path.
Years of flesh
could never wash away my hunger for her.
Even the sweetest cries of fallen prey
do not take
my mind from the moment
when we will finally meet.
It is my destiny.
My desire.

I lay here on the earth,
my body hidden.
My breathing shallow.
I can feel her near.
Years of waiting,
of feeling the slightest bit closer,
every moment has come to this.
I will be patient, still.

Faint sounds perk my ears,
drawing my attention to the distance.
My mind smells fear,
though I am nowhere near.
I am invisible.
The unseen.

Leaves rustle and my dark beauty emerges.
My heart slows,
for my instincts say NOW
But, I have waited so long,
I will relish this torture.

She is cautious and wary.
Eyes darting, knowing,
yet not seeing.
I am here, my love
Yet, silence is my steed.
I will be upon her before dawn.
Slowly, she creeps away.
Even slower, I follow.
She is never from my sight.
Never again
will her scent be an unknown memory.

Moment by moment
I feel her heartbeat stronger.
Am I getting closer?
No...I am further away.
I can hear her heart beat within my own.
Flutters within me
I have never known
tell me...tell me this is not my pulse.
It is hers, becoming mine.
As her blood will soon flow through me.
She shall strengthen me like no other.
She will complete me.

The forest grows thin
as we move towards light.
This is not my home.
Here, I do not feel right.
I feel like an intruder, a beast.
But, I cannot stop.
I am committed to this.
My life will continue
with her a part of me
or it will remain here and die.
So, I pursue.
       I hunt.
Closer I stalk,
narrowing the distance between my meal and I.
My hunger growls,
yet my throat does not.
The time nears that will join us into one.
Closer...              closer...            closer....
She stops and freezes.
She knows I am near.
Can she feel me as I do her?
Has her life been foreshadowed with my coming?
Does her body ache
or does it tremble in fear?
All that I am wishes to be nearer.

She moves...I take the moment to narrow the gap.
We are closer now than ever before.
I am the demon who shall devour this lamb.
I am the wolf,
I will consume her forever.

I smell her fear through my skin.
She calls to me...
to sink my teeth within
her voluptuous hide.
She freezes and turns my way.
How could she see me?
No, her gaze passes over me.
She just knows I am here.
As she turns away,
I spring from the ground.
I hear her cries as I fly through the air.

Finally, I am upon her!
Her cries muffled by my weight.
My teeth sinking into her neck.
Sweet, warm life
flowing down my throat
as I pin her harder to the ground.
She struggles violently.
Desperate for freedom
that she will never taste again.
She is mine!
Completely and irrevocably mine.
The more she struggles,
the deeper my bite sinks inside her.
Her passion flows hot into my throat.
Her body convulses as imminent death dawns.
Her heart synchs stronger with mine
as they pulse violently to Death's cadence.
Slowly, yielding, she gives herself to me.
Her body, her breath, her mind, her ***.
I drain them all and take her in.
I tear her skin, rip her flesh coming in.
I devour her life and her heart I win.

042704~8.2p

I can't remember a time
without your pull in my heart
nor a moment spent (without suffering)
while we were apart
An unconscious caress
like my hands up your dress
We were meant for thunderstorms
like we were meant to be wet.

Unconscious desires
still captivate and surprise
while subconscious fires
still burn each other's eyes
Your wrists call for my grasp
looming over you, breathing
...heavy...steaming
treating each moment as though it were our last
Descending slowly
into your vibrating soul
drinking your life
consuming you whole
devouring flesh
sweet supplicating spirit
Praise me, dark rose
and I'll hold you close
with eternal arms
that never betray
and the love of vampires
til our last day
when it turns to hours
and my tears to blood
are shed on the angel
who takes my One.
...so soon to follow
with Romeo's pace
lay I by your side
to share this place.
We come from one
and I long to unite
my soulful moons
to your **** night.
Our illuminate passion
shall call the tide
and flood our bodies
with passionate sunrise.

I need your worship
I can't resist your praise
I'd release my blood
to fill your grave
to swim with my beloved
and rest where she lay.

041504~2.28a

Stealing songs
from right and wrong
enduring hunger
so I can be strong
enough to heal
enough to feel
my way around
this cavernous sound
an unhealthy pulse
driving me on
I'm so scared
can't see beyond
today's setting sun
It's over, isn't it?
I can't fix it
without breaking myself
Creating a hell
becoming a shell
Do I love enough of me
to give up the beauty
with whom I want to be?
041204~5.3p

Who am I?
Alive at dawn
when hope is gone
cursed to forget
when the sun has set
a monster
a vampire
a thirsty wolf
in love with fire
Who am I
that cannot breathe
cannot see what needs to be
I want to bleed
it would be nice
to take a flight
into the night
end this life
that can't be mine
Blood & wine
Blood & wine
endless circles
in the bleeding sky
night comes quick
as a razor to skin
I open myself
to see within
to feel the sting
across my skin
self control
slowly sin
deface the temple
I live within
Sanguine satisfaction
for deadly rites
blessed blood moon
be with me tonight
041104~11.41a

What is pleasure
more than waiting forever
Knowing of a love
that can be Never

intensified yet, never realized
an eternity among days
a sun among stars
in the love of our space
burning with a brightness
that blinds the fright
and illuminates the wicked paths
within our sanguine nights

032004~6.08p

"...Enraptured and terrified
Denied and deified
Salacious and sanctified

What have you done?"*

...loved and lived
sacrificed and given
my soul to heaven
my life to hell
my mind in a purgatorial cell
pondering decisions
I made so ******* well
I chose to try
not lie, but die
prayed for a future
that couldn't survive

All of my dreams
suffocating within
sacerdotal sheets of silk
singing with sin
my only desire
to be within
this licentious fire
of our friendship ablaze
A satirical embrace
within two hearts
compressing space
separate, yet one
what have we become
but cardinal sins
within our confessional?

022604~9.12p

Daily dreams
slipping through
the seams with you
into my life
as beams of light
from the rising sun
illuminate
the things with you
only the darkness knew
and waking sweat,
playfully fading,
swiftly to forget

My full days seeming empty
with unknown longing for the night
my sleepless sheets spread
as I lie waiting for the light
Too tired to sleep
lying staring at the ceiling
dreams steal me under
another restless night alive
Sirens sound mourning
as my daily death dawns
waking within emptiness
I find it all gone.

022504

rapacious dreams
of you and screams
haunt the seams
of incorporeal subsistence

(i miss your flesh)

012804~10.34p

Alone in a hall
with grasping walls
tearing away sanity
as skin from flesh
flaying control
into murderous rage
splattering my soul
to every inch of this cage
Climbing walls inside my mind
locked into self-abuse
a selfish crime
at least it's mine
nothing to share
no one to scare
Bloodletting in ink
on my page of salvation
these lines let me sink
from my torturous elation
012204~4.12p

Waking moments
bring insecure pain
a Lycian soundtrack
to the constant rain
forever haunting the silence
sugar-coating the lies
with normalcy & compromise.
Still, I long to fear
   I hunger for fire
   to bring it near
   burning white beneath my skin
   sensations of living
   I miss within.
012204~12.12p

I miss the lesions
   miss the scars
   fresh & bleeding
   like soothing arms
   enclosing tight
   wrapping the pain
     in the rapture of night

My wine's heat
surfaces the memories
I've kept beneath
my high wall of stone
But, tonight
the trees are gone
and the grapes are ripe
& the wine in my mind
grasps its time
to spill my verse
like rain upon the Earth
falling on my pages
the truth is clear
- unadulterated -
like my passion.
It, too, is caged
too fierce, too strong
like a lion, enraged
trapped in mediocrity
within my rib cage
Now, it roars
usually, howls
when can it soar?
Where are you now?
122303~6.57p

Thinking how beauty
completely mystifies
everything you're about
The way your eyes
seem to sooth me
and rid me of my doubt
Your lips sing sweetly
A caress between
aggressive lust and
passionate screams
A place to meet me
where we become us.
092203~7.33p

Ah, how silence grasps
the darkness at last
all voices hushed
inside we rush
safe in havens
under watchful light
betraying ourselves
as we die of fright
091403~7.3p

Look at me now
all tossed & turned
bitten & spurned
like I forgot how
that I painfully learned
those lessons of life
straight from a knife
And from that night
was kindled a light
that strengethted & grew
that guided me through
tho' darkness consumed
I always knew
that you,
my darkness,
were never through
with me
082603~7.18p

Death Death Death
Everywhere death
reigns supreme
in my life
in my dreams
in my laughter
in my screams
Nothing's sacred
nothing safe
The razor, she yearns
for the kiss of my face
How much more scarred
can this mirror be?
How many more cracks
til I see the real me?
I long for the times
of solace & wine
with razors & rhyme
I'd pass my time
to heal
what the rest of the world wanted
to ****
to need
something the others
are too scared
to believe
the desire for fire
underneath my skin
crawling and screaming
slowly deeper within
Metallic lips to fleshless heart
what was bled and what was shred
it never really matters what was said
All that counts
is who was left dead.
08203~1.57p

Knowing that I can
Knowing what I am
Am I nothing more
than a wolf with a lamb?
...playing so precise
delaying to entice
my ****** appetite
Visions of incisions
to betray my true intentions
nothing means more
than for you to be delicious.
Straining in protest
I love it when you fight!
Knowing I'll ingest you...
but first, that painfully sweet bite.
Rakes down my back
inseminating your nails
the flames forcing me deeper
together in our hell.