a good-night kiss
soft, forgiving
inviting
reminding me of living
reconciliatory touch
a lingering embrace
beautiful eyes
clinging to my face
kissing again
with deliberate softness
a new wish forms:
could we do this more often?
102815~7.12a

dreaming in the early hours
of our hands clasped, breaths shared
away from commitments and bindings
owning the time for anything we dared:
long nights and long mornings
you're breakfast in bed
lazily tangled in affection
your head on my chest while poetry is read
I dreamed we called in--then ran away
made love (then again) to start our day
claimed life together like never before
a king and his queen, forevermore.
062515~6.05a

Whenever I feel
as I do today
I remember
all of the past
no, all of the bad past
the **** I should've forgotten
This weakness inside
has caused me to cry
and to hurt uncontrollably
...suicidally...
too much to let it go on
again...even anymore.
I believe in trust;
what darkness of the past
influences my heart to disbelieve?
Shall I face the failures
my heart has felt
can I expose them all...
even for myself?
My strength is hiding
I suppose, from itself
weakness    shadows   strength
because in weakness, strength is learned

In my state
I see clearer
I become nearer
to who I need to be
by what I see
inside of me
12/11/00 ~ 10.55p

This rising tide of violence
In the silence of fury
The world getting blurry
Fading voices
Baiting choices
Heartbeats in a hurry
Lost decisions in remission
Still staying the course
I force the temper down
Drowned in smoke
To choke the anger out
This time my mind is
SO LOUD
I find the rhyme helps it to
Fade Out.

Always wanting
your sweet caress
Like a little kid
stealing under your dress
Fascinated and hungry, still
There'll never be a time
when I've had my fill
You're all I want
and I always want you
Every way I can imagine
Is everything I want to do

081213 ~ 10.18a

Loving the way
you squirm and try to get away
Hungry for my mouth
devouring you from the inside out
Never missing a delicious drop
Teasing and abusing your sensitive spot
Needing your desire;
willing this fire to never stop
For as long as I live, you will be my queen
I will do anything to remain your dream.
080113 ~ 8.24a

I love to wish
that you were mine alone
No work to enslave
just us and home
wherever that might be
Roaming the countryside,
in the mountains or at sea
Free to live without constraints
comfort within whatever remains
Hopefully, we'll get there
without being too old
finding our paradise
never too hot or too cold
Just the perfect degrees
to keep you undressed
while I'm between your knees
and no neighbors to bother
with your pleasured screams

081613 ~ 2.43p

"A cruel thief disguised as dawn
tearing me from the arms of rest
stark light and morning's caress
stealing dreams from weary eyes and tangled hair
At least while I slumber, I have you there."*
-Lesa 050610~6.23a

//In reply//

Oh, my love, how I adore you
My body aches when I am without you
Let me beg, with my body implore you
You are my light, if my senses be true
I want nothing more than to be with you.
051010~8.21a

I reminisce on memories
of before we ever touched
Cherishing what had yet to happen
Already missing you so much
                          -Tue
Digital communication
and lifelines of long distance
shaped our love's acclimation
to suffer with our persistence
                          -Wed
A decade passed...
and then another half
just faded away
without seeing your face.
What a ******* waste.
                          -Thu
But now we have forever
because whereever
is now in my arms
And no matter how hard I love you
You still soften to my charms
                          -Fri 13, March 2015

Daily dreams
slipping through
the seams with you
into my life
as beams of light
from the rising sun
illuminate
the things with you
only the darkness knew
and waking sweat,
playfully fading,
swiftly to forget

My full days seeming empty
with unknown longing for the night
my sleepless sheets spread
as I lie waiting for the light
Too tired to sleep
lying staring at the ceiling
dreams steal me under
another restless night alive
Sirens sound mourning
as my daily death dawns
waking within emptiness
I find it all gone.

022504

I love being naked
walking around free in my home,
shuttered
from the world and their judgements
their raised eyebrows and side glances

I love being naked
because it feels like my heart
although my heart bleeds
like a motorcycle wreck
A long red line down the highway
leading to what's left

I love being naked
because there's nothing left to hide
It's me, in all my glory,
forcing myself to accept who I am
who I've been and who I might become

I love being naked
but I'm having a hard time
keeping my heart in a safe place
It keeps falling out
Like us
Getting pieces of asphalt and glass and grime
lodged in tiny bleeding cavities
screaming
over every little move made

I love being naked
but I look insane wearing nothing but tears

I love being naked
but I don't feel safe
when you're holding blades
in your eyes and lips

I love being naked
I have so many scars to bare
You can see them across my chest
down my arms
even in my eyes and in the corners of my mouth
Most are real; All are emotional

I love being naked
when she is naked with me
because nothing else even exists in my head
Only the drive to consume and resume
what we've always hungered for
But now there's so much shame
So much blame
So much negativity and cold rain

I love being naked
but I have to learn to protect myself.

I love being naked
because my voice has nowhere to hide
No bandana to pull up, no hood to pull down
Just free to be myself with me
No shame, no blame
No ******* confusing games
Just life -- no hype
Just a naked guy.

021915 ~ 6.55a

Thinking how beauty
completely mystifies
everything you're about
The way your eyes
seem to sooth me
and rid me of my doubt
Your lips sing sweetly
A caress between
aggressive lust and
passionate screams
A place to meet me
where we become us.
092203~7.33p

I love you for reasons that can't manifest
into physical forms
The ethereal pull of love within me
is beyond reasoning or control
But you asked for reasons, so I'll do my best

I adore your hair and how completely it captures my attention
Your eyes lock me in paradise, so full and wanting
Your form and frame like a comic book heroine, commanding my attention
And ****! Your thighs just keep me alive within my fantasies
You redefined beauty for me
You created a new measure by which I held others
and none other could ever measure up

-[But that doesn't touch my love for you.]-

I love how we play when we both feel safe
I love how you flirt with me
I love more than anything how delicious you taste
Never have I bonded with someone
on such a chemical level
Your skin, your smell, your taste, your curves
all of YOU commands my nerves
You light me on fire and dominate my desires
You are the only one that I ever want
Your smile and seduction have captured me completely.

-[But these aren't reasons why I love you.]-

I love you because my heart, my spirit, my mind, and my physical body
all convene into one known truth: I cannot live without you.
You bring a peace and wholeness to my life.
You create within me a singular hunger that knows only you.
Everything that I am wants you and only you.
I love you, but not because you are beautiful.
I love you, but not because we fit together.
I love you, but not because you're the best I've found.
I love you, but not because I no longer want to search for another.
I love you, but not for any reason I could list.
The reasons follow the love, not create it.
My love transcends above mere reasons
What I feel for you is beyond reason and description
It is a desire to live or the need to take another breath
that happens because the body needs it
...because it's *right.

Alone in a hall
with grasping walls
tearing away sanity
as skin from flesh
flaying control
into murderous rage
splattering my soul
to every inch of this cage
Climbing walls inside my mind
locked into self-abuse
a selfish crime
at least it's mine
nothing to share
no one to scare
Bloodletting in ink
on my page of salvation
these lines let me sink
from my torturous elation
012204~4.12p

I'm so full of desire
for you--my only thought,
my single focus and only want
Dominates my mind
like a true lover ought.
My body aches
and pulls me inside you;
My skin, my eyes, my taste
are all alive for you.
I lay here naked, desireful--
Dreams of only your skin;
waiting, burning, hoping
that you're breakfast again.

010210~8.15a

i gave you a broken heart of glass
You cradled me and cut me
You showed me the beauty within the shards
You taught me to live with a broken heart

You took my hand and you held it tight
Blinded with tears, you gave me sight
Frozen with fears, we embraced the night
Facing death, you showed me life.

i was never prepared for who you are
Not the beautiful hair, nor the secret scar
You became a goddess within my soul
Your heart the spark for me to become whole

Our path had many ends that led into the sea
The broken shards that I carried with me
were ground to become sand beneath our feet
And allowed you to walk away with me

1.19.16~10.21a

hope
like the red sun rising
through burning forests
is beautiful and terrifying
Labored breaths,
as though smoke-filled,
burn as they are drawn in
reluctantly
in need of life, like me
Aching from self-abuse
and misuse, yet
my heart hurts more
Hoping that after the fire,
like a Jack Pine,
I'll become something new
Rather than a phoenix,
rising again only to burn
082615~8.08a

Burns inside like I'm alive
I'm not afraid to die ~ not afraid to try
afraid of leaving this place tonight
afraid of ripping my soul in two
~half to keep my body alive
~half that stays here with you
An infected touch
   that brings addiction
a neverending hunger for
   just one more touch
a never-bending desire for
   what I need so much
070304~9.25a

My thoughts held captive
between a goddess' thighs
Though, within her eyes
is where I feel alive.

033010~2.02a

I want to be the one who's strong
the one to hold the sun
to keep the days so long
I want to be your Summer warmth
to take the Winter chill away
I want to be the light
to give form and beauty to your day
I want to be your Spring
even though you love the Fall
because we're so deep in Winter
cold and darkness covers all
022615 ~ 10a

Come to me, my sweet beauty
Wrapped in my arms,
prey to my charms
Head on my chest
is where you feel best
The smell of your hair
is comfort you're there
A kiss on your head
You're mine till we're dead
My heart will remain
forever bound to your name
These hours of ours
shall never sour
Yet the night is swift
in taking my lovely Gift
Now and forever I know I'll see you soon
My darling Night, Stars and Moon.

090513 ~ 10.22a

Revelatory speaking
listening to breathing
trying to slow
down to a "no."
Alluring consequences
blurring rationale
left with unchoosable choices
that society will allow.

An All or Nothing mindset
keeps us blind to a cage
that filters every word
we hold as God's page.
Contradictions clearly concealed
between the Old and the New
How can there be love
when there's a hell just for you?
041505~2.15p

My heart weighs so heavy
pulling my neck to the ground
struggling to breathe
too cloudy to see
All I need
is to just lie down
Wanting to puke these feelings out
wanting to live without the doubt
of when I'll offend and when you'll shout
(by that I mean speaking hard & loud)
It's so odd that I'm to blame
for wanting to act and be treated the same

Either I'm ******* crazy
and losing my mind
or this is emotional abuse.

093014 ~ 12.49p

This love for you begins
in the darkness
I wake with my thoughts
of us together inside
of a world collapsed
around our lives
Leaving a shining sun
where we used to lay
Where you become my heaven
and I, your day.

040910~6.56a

Reaching out,
you're reaching down
An extended hand
as I slowly drown.
Just in time
-I was slipping away
Numb from the conflict
yet, here to stay.
Forever devoted
to what we're building
But, my heart is warfare
and used to shielding
Used to fighting
or running away
Trying to live
to love another day
But, with you
I'm up in arms
caught off-guard
with no alarms
It's finding a way
to buffer our space
Learning what to say
to keep peace in our place
But you don't want peace
You just need to express
to just let it all out
no matter the mess.
So we continue the war
of express and retreat
back to the therapist
in brutal defeat.

022515 ~ 10.11a

Constantly in my mind,
this little kitten,
begging
for a petting
(she ends up bitten.)
I growl,
   she purrs.
I howl
   for her curves
and the screaming of her nerves.
I pet her
and bathe her
in lustful adoration;
I spank her
then take her
with Daddy's impatience.

120909~9.57p

My heart eternally raptured
by the suns setting in your eyes
the darkness that is our love
enveloping our painful lives
A midnight dance
serenaded by crickets
the soft glow of the filtered moon
lighting the ceiling of our
****** ballroom
Like the beast to his beauty
I spin you around in broken cadence
My arm around your waist will never release
lost within our poetic conveyance

031914~11.08a

The magic is gone
sadness reigns
if it's not anger
it's pouring rain
Lost within the madness
of fighting again
Love all but forgotten
as we take it on the chin
Communication styles
of anger and hurt
deminishing what's left
of my own self worth
Another day of wishing
I was simply gone
Insides churning misery
the pain lingers on
My world upside down
as darkness lets me hide
The pain remembered brightly
as the sun glares it's shine

Dawn.
The Enemy.
Murderer of my most sensual dreams.
Thief of my dance with death
Interrogator with light and exposure as weapons
Dawn comes too fast, too soon,
and with too much force
when all of my desire wants nothing more
than to writhe in Stygian fantasies
for the rest of my existence.
-Lesa Renee

In response to "Dawn"

Dusk.
The Protector/the Temptress.
The Twilight Goddess consuming the fire
her black shawl darkening the sky
   with looming desire
spread from her hellish cave, forlorn.
She beckons with lust within devilish dance
consuming my soul with her smells,
   taste, skin, eyes and hands.
Her torturous reward
   as I scream for your skin
is to allow but a glimpse
   of my fallen goddess' silhouette of sin.
112209~5.22p

Death Death Death
Everywhere death
reigns supreme
in my life
in my dreams
in my laughter
in my screams
Nothing's sacred
nothing safe
The razor, she yearns
for the kiss of my face
How much more scarred
can this mirror be?
How many more cracks
til I see the real me?
I long for the times
of solace & wine
with razors & rhyme
I'd pass my time
to heal
what the rest of the world wanted
to ****
to need
something the others
are too scared
to believe
the desire for fire
underneath my skin
crawling and screaming
slowly deeper within
Metallic lips to fleshless heart
what was bled and what was shred
it never really matters what was said
All that counts
is who was left dead.
08203~1.57p

Deep oceans of sadness
swelling and churning
threatening to capsize
all that I am
My throat speaks lies
I'm not ok.
The darkness looms
in the salty skies
My flesh grows weary
of holding itself together
I just need to cry
myself to sleep within
eternal blankets of darkness.
Comfort comes with sleep,
agony with waking.
I'm proud I'm not a sheep
but, just like them, I'm faking.
Mindlessness, hand in hand with joy
I feel alone, though friends abound
I need to cry, but
can't scream a sound.

Why am I like this?
Why so sad?
Why does my life feel so...
futile?
My words are slowing
my pen, failed.

My life struggles on
the front continues
my smiles have faded
into a dawnless dusk.

****.
122304~1.57p

I've longed for you
for so many years
so many smiles
so many tears.
It's hard to believe
that when I go home
in the early eve
I won't be alone
I'll have you with me.

Cherishing these moments
like a dream come true
savoring every second
knowing we'll make it through
Beyond the struggles
of personality types
Learning to slow down
when we once would fight

Declaring to the world
that you are my Queen
no matter the reality
you're always my dream
Staring at your face
and touching your cheek
Here in this place
our love is so sweet

Never again,
my flower,
will I want another.
You're the petals, I'm the stem;
I support and you cover.
My strength and your beauty.
Protecting you and our love:
my dedication and duty
while the stars are above.

I love you...
as I was destined to.

031615~9.19a

Don't watch me go
it's not forever
only our love bears that badge.
I close my eyes because you fill them
I need to see
beyond the dreams
past you
surrounding me
you fill my pain
like warm Southern rain
shed from the eyes of a goddess
Your heart will forever be
a sacred shrine
And my offerings
will always bleed
and flood the floors
of your divine temple
You have my prayers
and I have your soul
there is no forgetting
without you, there is no whole.
Your secret place is ours
with enshrouded chests
and beating *******
I am with you for hours
alone in our minds
connected
writing parallel lines
but in time....
In time we'll connect again
physically ~ abusively
you'll have me to yourself
and you'll cry
at all the time that's gone by
we weren't living this lie
but now we cry
because we could've tried.
Now we're tired
way too soon
like a slow pounding rain
turning to monsoon
Sweeping away possessions
and cares and loves
leaving us with nothing
but time and ****.

What more did we want?
080404~7.41p

I imagine us
walking in fields
as green as my bowl
hand in hand
as we grow old
Yet, you're never older
just held longer in my arms

There's flowing water
in a creek nearby
the rushing sounds
creating beautiful noise
You lead us there
to the pebbled shore
Our bare feet on cool stones
fingers interlaced to feel you more
The water, invigoratingly cold
You subtly
pull me
deeper in
I am mesmerized within your eyes

I lean for a kiss
and sink under with you

I'm drowning in your love:
my desire is an anchor
I cling to
like life
It is not languor
but steadfastness
which holds me as I sink
These depths are everything
I need you around me
like rushing water
You are sustenance,
a need,
like no other.

020514 ~ 10.58a

Looking forward to the night
when you are mine
and within my realm
the pressure pushing us closer
Moving together
Sweat and lust
grabbing flesh and hip thrusts
Moving so sensually is
always so easy for us
coming so natural
--like breathing--
The looks, the touches, the teasing....

041610~6.42a

Who we thought we were
Who we came to be
Neither lived up to the fantasy
We crushed our spirits
And took our souls
The weight growing heavier
As we grow old
Smiles fade into apprehension
As codependency enslaves
The harder we fight the tension
The more consumed by the waves
Flooded with anger and confusion
Judgemental delusion
Hearts ending up hard
In self-imposed seclusion
Unknowing of the future
We still strive for our dreams
Working harder than ever, yet
Living beyond our emotional means
082515~8p

rapacious dreams
of you and screams
haunt the seams
of incorporeal subsistence

(i miss your flesh)

012804~10.34p

I feel like we finally started seeing each other
last night when our hands were together
your words were soft
mine, understanding
working toward a life of forever
Who knew love could be this hard?
Back in the 90's
when the net was young
words were our life
like your name on my tongue
We grew closer and intimate
without the feeling of skin
We opened our hearts wide
and accepted the other within
As the years flew by
and distance reigned
life drove us apart
as though fate were feigned
But, together at last
through a fateful verse
I reached out and you answered
dispelling our curse
Now, a few years later
we fight hardest for our love
learning to embrace
when our instincts are to shove
I know we'll make it together
My faith is greater than the Pope's
We have the rest of our lives together
sharing passions & play, hearts & hopes
Symbolizing my commitment and desire
I've given you the hardest stone
You gave me in return
your heart and body to own

030415 ~ 12p

Lost for words within endless stares
Losing truth when we choose dares
Fighting for peace like we don't care
Destroying our treasure as though not rare

We can say what we mean
But translation lies
Caging a raven:
Only free when it flies
What we find in our hands
like blood promises made
The color of our conviction
Reflecting like a blade
"Forever" we promised
Yet forever we fight
Only desiring the arms
That hold us tight

The only One for me,
no matter the span
Or depth of sea
Our perfect plan:
My love with me
So far we ran
Just to love free....

Why can't our past chains just let us be?

blinding madness
while drowning in sadness
I'm confused and angry
bruising with self-hate

knowing you love me
but the waves stay above me
gasping for air shouldn't shame me
I just want someone to relate

The logic gets twisted
just to be right
instead of sharing compassion
we digress into a fight

The one I trust most
can't hold my heart with care
slowly becoming a ghost
with a distant stare

I regressed to fragility
shards of my heart scratching my eyes
wondering if this love
will be the end of our lives
082415~8.02a

Frozen in time within my mind
you'll never grow old
and beauty will cling to you
like my eyes as you leave the room
Your hair spilling over your shoulders
will capture me like waterfalls
eternally falling
only for you
Your eyes are my sunrise
lighting my day with your smile
and your love, my strength
to endure every trial
Time cannot stop
but neither could my love
cherishing every moment of you
like the night with the stars above
Your darkness encloses me in comfort
As my light defines your curves
with shadows, fingertips, and lust
my devotion expressed through my words
I'll never get enough of Us.
101515~8.39a

My morning light
first captured within your eyes
before I open mine
before the ball of flame
reaches our sky
I am enamored awake
then coaxed back down
into my seductive slumber
within your arms and skin
where your lips keep pulling
my full length in

Waking without you
prompts dreams ******
so full of the fantasy
that you're always near.
051110~6.49a

tear up
burned out
smothered in doubt
gasping for air
and holding my breath
When it finally comes
the air shifts and
spirits lift
filling my body with love
It only takes one day
one moment
to fall back to ****
How many times
can I take this hit?
I'm ready to be done
and give up on life
If only I could travel back in time
and kick my mother in the stomach
before she made the biggest mistake of our lives
090115~6.58a

She blesses me /
Caresses me
with her eyes;
With her thighs
she lights my fire;
She fights my ire
with submissive kisses;
With possessive wishes
she claims my soul.

120209~11.51a

Growling
tearing inside at loose pieces
angry at unjustified bitterness
that sweeps me from my peak
   Lost in whirlwinds
   that scatter debris
   like tiny blossoms
   of glistening glass
So beautiful and bright
right up to the moment
when it hits and becomes
part of me
shredding me like a dream
waking to find the loved ones
left behind are forgetting me.
How could something so perfect
be upsetting to me?

I'm lost in a disappearing act
wrapped in blood-stained curtains
that never pulled back
never exposed
never revealed
*******! I want this overbearing pain SEALED.
122304~11.4a

Hesitantly
I try to heal
Knowing nothing has changed
in the way we feel
But we woke up softer
on Saturday morn
and a slow caress
became delicious ****
Fingers interlaced
A gentle morning moan
Waking with your taste,
it's your pleasure that I own
And one was not enough
because, baby, it's been too long
Muffled through pillows & sheets,
I can hear your ecstatic song.
022315 ~ 9.16a

Set up to fail
without even a thought, or
consideration of what makes me who I am:
The honesty I've fought for
Being true to myself
and not forced to lie
to please anyone else.
I'd honestly rather die
than go back to that hell.
Fake people with fake compliments
and never knowing the truth
I learned to shut my mouth
because it was better for you.

3/25/15 ~ 1:48p

Lost in songs of love and loss
reminding me of all I own
A love that's mine until the end of time
A heart held open so all is known
I cherish this hope that's placed in us
a faith in love and all I trust
I love the way you love me too
I believe there's nothing we can't get through

010614 ~ 8.17a

I can't remember a time
without your pull in my heart
nor a moment spent (without suffering)
while we were apart
An unconscious caress
like my hands up your dress
We were meant for thunderstorms
like we were meant to be wet.

Unconscious desires
still captivate and surprise
while subconscious fires
still burn each other's eyes
Your wrists call for my grasp
looming over you, breathing
...heavy...steaming
treating each moment as though it were our last
Descending slowly
into your vibrating soul
drinking your life
consuming you whole
devouring flesh
sweet supplicating spirit
Praise me, dark rose
and I'll hold you close
with eternal arms
that never betray
and the love of vampires
til our last day
when it turns to hours
and my tears to blood
are shed on the angel
who takes my One.
...so soon to follow
with Romeo's pace
lay I by your side
to share this place.
We come from one
and I long to unite
my soulful moons
to your **** night.
Our illuminate passion
shall call the tide
and flood our bodies
with passionate sunrise.

I need your worship
I can't resist your praise
I'd release my blood
to fill your grave
to swim with my beloved
and rest where she lay.

041504~2.28a