Upward stare, dark sky,  I fade into the veil of night. Woven in dark heavy shrouds that blanket the earth and hold it tight.

My body rests on dew kissed grasses where the wildflowers grow..

My heart and thoughts with all I've loved and the life I came to know..

My essence now the starlit heavens, close and far away, and in the pink hued clouds of morning luminesce of  sun rays..  

In the rolling ocean blue my loved ones yearly see, when the cool breeze caresses their face you know that's where I'll be..

On my mothers garden bench she quietly rests upon, I'll be the sweet bird song that makes her smile even though I'm gone..

I just want to be an angel floating close by to wrap them in my love and hold them when they cry..

We are apart of everything always and forevermore, death isn't the end for us, it's just another door.

The sweetest Infinite wisdom claims no excellence nor promises perfection

Scintillating atoms, a world all a glow
Energy in motion as it bustles too and fro.

A drum and beat all it's own, every living being just marching in perfect tone.

Electrical impulses and frequencies high and low.
  
A ferver of vibrations this earth that we know,

Time progresses onward, life ebbs and flows.

Energy neither created nor destroyed, only changing form.

Maybe life is  more a circular pattern than a linear path of time

Cruel thoughts invading the silence
Louder and louder, ringing  in my ears

Anxiety a gripping vice, constricting labored breaths

Further and further, sinking in the abyss

Retreat into the nothingness, and hope it's quiet there

Hide in the darkest corners of my mind,  realitiy is far too much to bear

Drowning, suffocating, asphyxiating
It's really all the same

I wish I could forgive myself and accept me as I am

But I'm bent on my own destruction
Living a masochistic dream

Just another tortured realist
Trying to stay sane

A breathe drawn in...
A listless sigh out...
A heartbeat that's barely heard
Beneath the echoes of
worry and doubt

Quick glances stir excitement, sparks fly, smiles exchanged...

The surface is so sweet, you'd like to get to know me, you ask me for my name... but are you sure you can handle exposing all my pain?

My pain is my darkness that crawls  beneath my skin it covers my heart and hides my ***** secrets that I bury deep within..

I can pretend to be perfect, maybe for a while.. I'll act like a lovely lady, so pretty and so nice.. You'll think you have found the one and go tell all your friends..

But as the seasons change, the layers fade before your eyes and I'll be left standing naked and war torn with no disguise...

So let's skip the surprises and I'll show you what is real..

The me I know too well is wounded and fearful and uncertain of how to heal..

Once maintained, now broken beyond repair. Only remnants of sadness and lingering despair..

So let's sit and compare our scares, strip down and open up, reveal our true sources for all that is corrupt ..

Im tainted from all this pain but maybe you are too, our scares might not be that different,
So please take me as I am.. I'll  overlook your darkness and accept what makes the man...  If you feel like I do, I'll stand by your side. But if the burden is to heavy and you walk away I guess I'll have to coincide..

Intrusive thoughts..
Salty Sweet..
Shake the ground,
Beneath my feet.

That which we may conjour,

by accidental affirmations,
by conscious conceptions,
by pensive persuasion,

Once brought forth
Into existence
Are no longer
Ours to control

Your presence glistens brightly, A solace amidst the mundane and ordinary..  
Weary body, heavy heart, I trudge on alone into the dark..then I look up and what do I see?    
Your deep eyes that flicker glancing down at me...
I felt  a sense of refuge, a calm after a storm..
I knew we were one in the same in some way...
I hope that you will take my hand, and just maybe journey on together and begin again..

If you never really know the real me..
How hollow and empty life will be..
hungry for power, vanity and vice,
Soul is lost, an empty shell left to pay the price..
Cold, bitter, distant, depleted..
No meaning, no beauty, no love, no light..
Feeding off the weak like a vampire in the night..
Break the rules and hide begin your lies..
For your evil there is no disguise..
As you lay your head to sleep,
The sinking void begins to creep..
Tell yourself your in control, life is good and it's okay..
Then pray you'll believe it the next day..

We are all blind before we see..
We are living life backwards
from how it's intended to be..
Why do we keep searching,
When we have the key?
LISTEN as something softly
Whispers to me... Just embrace love,
Set your heavy heart free,
Let truth guide you where you need to be..
Believe in life's beauty & live in harmony..

Am I lost?
Or just searching for something
that can never be found..
Is heaven really so far above?
Or my feet just stuck on the ground?

The sweetest infinite wisdom, is that which makes no claim of excellence nor promise of perfection.. Beautiful words and truths left unspoken are esoteric,  safe from the vain and guarded from exploitation, patiently resting, these secrets that lie within, one day I pray the veil will be lifted and humanity can transcend..

Why is there so much pain and suffering all around me? Human drama, chaos and confusion consume our energy., People dwell too often on negativity It's like an illness spreading rampantly..
  I realize we all have good and evil tendencies.. So choose your Shepard wisely and journey carefully, pay close attention in unknown territory..
  Some depart and never make it... Most have the chance but never take it.. A few cheat and try to fake it..
It's our purpose to find our way home and  release the quintessence of heaven hidden in flesh and bone..