Heard every excuse in the book
When I let go I leave the door ajar but never expect anything or anyone
I just don't expect
I accept
Easier to say than learn
So much for listening.
Hugging or putting a band-aid on what hurts
Sometimes you can't fix it
Sometimes you can be too good so you need to be better than that and stay clear until you know you are needed and wanted

C@rainbowchaser2023

Inhaling was suffocation
exhaling meant living
heart racing
mind numbing
it's not wanting to die
if you dont know how to live

stupid girl looking for meaning
in a place with no beginning
hot cold
in and out breaths
and you're not sure where to go next
because you were dead set on an ending
and he was somewhere over there
planning a life of solitude
You scream and fight for a goal
he's already opt out
stupid girl
you were carrying this battle like he was beside you
but didn't you hear
he says he's with you while making you a fool
agrees with you says he'll be with you
then steps on your boundaries
like they weren't there for you

You can stay and keep fighting
but you're a fool to keep going
when you've lost this love
that's not happening again
this ending you were determined to reach
that's not happening
Look around
we're all alone but we don't look it
you weren't alone but you felt alone
there isn't a comfort zone
life doesn't make room for comfort

I wish you were there and you weren't
And I wish and wished for what I wanted but I never got it
It's not funny at all how things can be unfair
But we're taught that's just how things are

It's not the spilt milk that once was worth crying over
It's the heartache after heartache that has us closer to the edge
I can see it now
One big leap and we'll be there
And the fear doesn't creep up and scare me anymore
Because now I welcome it unlike before
To sweep me away from this terrible fright of a life
Because I don't want to be alone anymore

I tried you know
To pick myself up and walk it off
But I only headed towards the cliff
And then nobody liked me walking it off
And told me to **** it up
So I did

I ****** through a straw a bottle of bleach to go with the pills
But sadly not even that helped at all
So they tied me down in a room with four walls
Not a window to brighten the view
To stick me with needles and feed me through a tube
After that I knew
Nobody cares what I think. Just what I do.

Was this a flame or a short fling
That catches on quick
And sets you on fire

Heaven or hell, I couldn't tell
Because I was foolish enough to never doubt it
But falling feels a lot like dying
In that the world is numb to you
And your life before fades away

I have myself to blame
For the hot and cold passes
The long nights waiting on you
The short time we spent together
I have myself to blame
You never loved me

Like cat and mouse we fooled around
Until I was fully consumed in you
Then I was nothing
And she meant everything
her your girlfriend
That's what you called her
You never called me that
And I blame myself