please be impatient with me for I am Female, Age 19   Please be impatient with me.  Three quarters woman in a body, a quartered quartet.  The crying viola, off tempo, present but unavailable.  The boys want me. The men, more, more.  The women most of all.  The American Girl dolls on the shelf dusty, witnesses to all my demander’s impatience to take, to own, possess & desire my poses all to pleasure them, wanting  many morsos (small bites).  
Then, when discarded, my body reeks of
con-f u s i o n.  A perfect conjugation,  an imperfect conjunction;  Conning my mind into letting my body be-fused.  

The dolls weep real tears in the city of my mind;  flipping out, they too, are impatient with me, and flip me off for they have no good words to express their utter chagrin.

My soul, it’s aching
The thought of her smile, got me shaking
The sound of her laugh, got me trembling
Her wondering eyes. My thoughts I’m losing
The miles.. got me crying
The moon is dark, why did it lose its light
Does the moon feel me? Feel how my chest got tight?
I asked why are you dark, the moon ignored me in a cold quite
Waiting all night, the times are lost, now I’m stuck in fright
I cried I cried, now my life has lost its moonlight

the truth is,
i'm afraid to have friends.
there's something uneasy in my stomach about the thought of doing things friends do.
like hanging out,
and going places like the mall or wherever friends go.
and being vulnerable to them,
trusting them.

never drink from the same cup as someone who is sick
but dear you still pressed your lips against mine and swallowed my sadness
now you caught my disease
folie à deaux; the shared disillusionment of two
do you miss your sanity?

for the first time in years,
i feel loved.
the gates of my heart opened and i feel the love of my friends and family again.
i feel reunited with myself.
i accept myself and all that comes with me.
the rain doesn't sound sad anymore.
i look forward to waking up,
even if i'm unproductive.
the tears soaking my eyelashes feels like love and happiness.

i've always had a love for you.
although i've visited you a handful of times,
you're still as beautiful as when i met you the first time.
the sounds of your running waves crashing against the soft sand
pulled my heartstrings.
in those moments, there was no bad times.
i've forgotten what pain felt like in your presence.
thank you sea.

from one of many admirers,
moon.

the trees danced in the wind,
their families of branches moving to the east.
it all looked like a computer image.
you know, those default computer homescreens?
so beautiful and they all look so far away yet so close.
and then there was you.
i could see your face rounding the corner,
the freckles on your lips made me forget how to walk.
you,
the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh and you close your eyes so tightly i feel like my heart is going to burst.
i want to sit on my porch with you on a fine autumn day.
we'd be cloud watching.
you'd be cloud watching and i'd be watching you.
wondering how in the world
we found each other.
you're my sea.