And for a little while
after I’m gone
they will tell stories about me
some true
some false
good memories
bad memories
but only for a little while
because after awhile
I am no longer making new memories
only old memories linger
like all old memories
they fade and eventually are forgotten
so in the end
I am just a forgotten memory
that once may or may not existed

Scorched earth dripping from my fingers (you know how sometimes the smell of smoke can save lives?

and how sometimes I'd prefer I slept in)
glistening a while as the pieces crumble into invisibility.

I'm ever waiting

To become what I make, and

I don't mind if you let me think I'm winning the race until I've lost you
completely

If I don't speak please don't take it to heart, my best years are gone but you can have my ghost

If you wish to. I'll be here. Ever writhing, tied to my promise: no longer screaming. My silence

Is the best gift you could ever wish from me, if you knew me well-enough you'd know that to be true.

I've took on so many names and faces and manipulation tactics, at this point I'm a one-man-cult

Victimising shadows,

I'm kind to myself now but I still feel nothing mostly, but that doesn't have to be your problem
Any longer

Than you make it, I've grown up some with little option otherwise. I'm yours I'm yours I'm yours, for as long as I'm willing to be dragged around.

Fallen weak,

Ever-bleeding as long I can breathe without thinking.
Some memories are better left untouched and some regrets taken to the grave and some people left to crumble themselves to nothing again and again, undisturbed for as long as can be expected.

Don't wait up for me, you'll end up as good as a prayer for the dead to return.

on the phone
you talk and talk until suddenly
  you say you're going to let me go.

i stare out empty, filling in images
  over the blank wall, it's became a sort of silent mantra as of late;
the vague daydreams are bound to crumble back to memory
some way or another
if not wear it's bite marks like tiny wounded flags

i let grow swollen.  i only wish you never changed me like you did. i remember gathering rugburnt rashes
on our underthighs, making each other's jaws twitch
with the electric heater as our modern day campfire.
it's a good day for a warm shower, to burn my skin red and peel an unrecognisable face out of the mirror, a clense, a diy baptism;in the aftermath: i showered as many times as i had to,
i saw the outcome miles away (it was a certainty any time i dared to speculate on the possibility)
O why am i so sickened ?
i had to figure out if i had any right to be

and the days dragged on so long.

your eyes glowed like chasms once,
they've grown oxidated and cold since.
i hope i've done my part to change you too.

Sometimes I've felt like a pawn being puppeteered to trapeze a thin string,
Knowing for sure that I'm drawing a noose but waiting to know who it's for.

On and on and on
Fall Fall Fall
Coursed trek under ceaseless fire,
attempted to debate
and ended up
in the same place the
   next day as it was the day before--
death is the only thing
only to be made sacred as a coping method
--I cannot trade my remaining days
to look into the eyes of the dead once more--
of the living thru divinity absorbed

Same as the aeons-old saints that travelled endless caves and exited poorer

as they who sit legs in a basket
with homemade-shoelace-diadems crowning their head in the corner of their bedroom floor
as is the meek and deceiving and loving&caring and the useless.

Yes,I used to speak without thinking but I concussed for two years straight so how could you blame me?
On and on it's like we never stop falling
  even when we go our separate ways.
Time takes away everything, and there's no way around that.
And I was so young once and I was so inlove once that I
Forgot conjoined-twins were born together before later-on being severed...
I'm cold as the winter, it was a cold-*** December without you for the first time in a long time,
--won't find your way to what you're looking for when you don't know where you're going--

the fallout kills us before us the ******* bomb explodes.

We pluck stars from the sky and split them into sugary atoms and return the scrambled constellations like ill-fitting clothes yet you refuse to be proud of me anymore
a genius builded on words alone then kicked in head until he's no brain left hahahaha ***** who cares who cares for arguments at any rate

When we were born into a wolrd where it's so easy to get the last word in

Nothing happens and as long as I'm sedated nothing can go about it's way blissfully

I can't stand to live another day across from you
But you know where I am if you need a place to stay

I've mistaken my killer for my twin before
And the aftermath is me left alone to answer:
What else have I got to lose?

Dart your eyes to the floor and keep them
there when you see me passing.
I don't bask in your fear, don't misunderstand me, I want the best for you that much has never changed
  nor will it ever

You just owe me as much to carry the burden of knowing me beyond skindeep head on lap fingers claw thru my hair cancelling out the noise nextroom and lets me think I could sleep if I wanted to,

Who'd you think you are to tell others I was never grateful?
My grace is all I've had for a while and that's what's been the matter
With or without you there to add and take away from me in that state
or parading as some other,
We both did it it's only human infact when we stopped imitating it was only right for us to fall apart

You take my silence as anger and consider yourself victorious
Baby I know you as well as you know me
We'd still be best of friends if you'd kept your shoes on,we both know that; but how can you expect forgiveness and for me to be thankful for you
Saying you forgive me
I'd be less stunned if you slapped me baby
I figured you out long before we gave up speaking then became you in your absence just to impersonate your company
Is that not a white flag being swayed by a dying captain?
Shame shame shame cast for all nearby spirits to observe and laugh at
if they so pleased

I bite my teeth and stomp my feet but nothing ever changes