About little tiny things
Flutter round faces
Like tiny beautiful rings
A household in harmony
A past left to sob alone
A kitchen filled with place settings
A world without the word alone
dishcloths on the counter
shoes placed on the stairs
a partner sleeping peacefully
A cat and dog unaware of
grief
A world in which breathing relief
is a staple
Like the dancing pole in the basement
the books on every shelf
and the window in my study,
filled with photos,
paint,
and healthy stress
Nothing more
needed
Nothing Less
again

Because when I look out that window
I'll know that at least
my home
can now be stable

**at last

Like freshly shorn hair
Swathes tumbling freely
Empty despair
and shock at silent grieving

Old self leaving
Cleaving of new

Empty and Ready
Filled with true
*Expectancy

Your laugh was a cloud
Loud
Enveloping
Mist which covered me without the
slightest resistance
insistence
I needed assistance to breathe

Your laugh shows I'm useful
shows there's a need
For us
as I feed on the delicious awkwardness we
shared
Caught unawares by being liked

It's a shame your laugh
was the cloud which hid
a trucks headlights

crash
shared
spent

Your laugh a narcotic cloud I refuse to repent

Fragments and splatters of sentences
are swirled around every piece of paper and pad
and screen and
wall and
notebook and
EVERYWHERE
Ranging from one word
one captured moment
to a veritable spew of
stream of consciousness

my organisation leaves more than a
little room for improvement

*deep breath

His heat spent on books
He lies beside, forsaken of need,
a greed for knowledge
Has robbed of his want
His body, a shell,
His mind, a stone which refuses to shed
against intuition.
No Fruition
No Justice
No Peace

Just a piece of his mind roving
No Release left to give

The ***** is
Placed
Watchful
just in case
Her mind a jewel
Her body a vessel
Her purpose Calm and
Clear

Yet one is seemed sinner and
the other has 'wisdom'

Odd

I got shampoo in my eye
I'm a liar
but it's better than telling them
that every time I close
my eyes, all
I can imagine
Is what would happen if you
die.
How your golden hair would
mould, thick with blood
How your thin bones would hit
the tiles with a thud and
Mud would fill my mind
How I'd recall every time I was slightly unkind
and blame myself
For leading you to this

I'd remember every kiss
and all the one's I'd missed because
I'd chosen my life
I'd taken the risk
and lost

I'm imagining the frost of your
skin
I'm imagining begging a God to be real
Just so he could take away your sins
Just so you could smile again
Heal
Somehow

I tried so hard to help
Help
Help
Please, stop looking at me like your last
latch on life
Put down the knife
and start to help yourself as well

Because I can't tell what else I can do
I'm losing here
I need you to help too