Dear You-know-who-you-are,
Thank you for everything
you've done and said
to me over the years.
It is very rare to experience
a love (if it was for you; it was for me)
so true and real and deep
these words are not enough to express
how much you mean, meant, and will always mean to me.
No..they are merely raindrops in the sea.
Because not a thing has been created
to give you a proper translation yet.

So just kiss me.

Let yourself melt against me
so I can transfer my feelings through
moving lips and body heat.

Love, you-know-who-I-am

There's no point.




                            None.

Should I post it?
Should I not?
Should I tell her what I thought?

Watching her sing along
She knew all the words
And it was easy to tell
She felt them
I fell in love
All over again

This
         place
                   makes
                               me
                                      unhappy

I wish you saw how special you are
and how much you mean

there's a special place in my heart
where you can always be seen

a beautiful piece of art
displayed on the biggest screen

the most sparkly star
with the shiniest gleam

you gave me a start,
more jolt then caffeine

I'd say you're a card,
exactly what I need.

I know it
I hate it
I embrace it
I regret it
I run away from it
I come back to it
I accept it
I choke on it
I break from it
I smile at it
I cry at it

just go away

I feel like a fizzy drink
someone ******* the cap too tight on
and shook right up and down too too fast
the pressure pushing out on all sides of the cheap plastic
built up and stiff, pressure insane
until someone takes off the cap
and I explode
it's too much for them
so they close me back up
cycle repeating
close
shake
explode
close
shake
explode
unt­il there's nothing left
and I am
empty

I love how you fit right in with all the poets here.
~
You might say you aren't an artist, but you are so wrong.

Sometimes thoughts are just
too much for me to handle
I wish I was numb

Fabricate
Fantasicate
Just how fake
that heartbreak
was to take
was to face
was to brace.
How'd you place
the blame
on  his chase
to fill your space,
when his heart raced
and heavily paced
when the idea graced
to be your mate?
I guess one could state
that this is fate
though the gates
at which she'll wait
will have low rates.

Internet box glow
it's a different dimension
here we get away

More and more hours
we get lost in our haven
But what else is there?

And same room sitting
the ones who raised us wonder
"How dare they zone out!?"

That song played on my favorite tv show and my eyes glued to the screen because it was your favourite band

I opened this book to write about how crazy that was and saw your name written over and over in your own handwriting. Thought about it.

Flipped though my poems I keep mostly secret and noticed that many, many of them were about you

Your name on my clipboard
Your jokes on my papers
Your words on my screen
Your body on my bed
Your body on my body

You

In my head

In
     My
           Heart

You've consumed my life
                 To lose you
                      Is to lose me


And that's why I'm afraid.

Lets go to the beach, where we can
    play in the sand
    splash in the waves
    run hand in hand
    eat things we crave

Lets go down town to
    check out the shops
    buy new clothes
    see boys that are hot
    mess with hobos

Lets run away and just
    always be the same
    rely on each other
    dance in the rain
    go undercover

Fading further into your shadow.
Losing sense of self.
Losing sense of purpose and reason.
I'm always second place.
But
I dunno
Maybe I put myself there.

I've said it maybe a million times
that "things will be okay"
and yes, my love,
they will be okay for you
but it is I who is so uncertain
of this life and what I make of it
I know I've been acting off
I get so emotional anymore
everything is making me crumble
I fear soon I shall be nothing but those crumbs
and what happens to crumbs?
they are swept away
on an amazing journey
airborne in their container
false hope making them believe that they have won
they are rising, getting where they need to be
and, I guess, in a way they are getting there
to that wonderful trashcan
and I bet at first that seems great
so many people are around them,
i bet they even act like them
this is shattered by reality though
even a small dose, lover, is toxic
they too soon realize that they are losers
everyone around them, like them,
everyone breathing the the same
grimy as they are, is just a loser
and maybe thats not the worst
i think the worst would be knowing
knowing that there is no way out
other then to be thrown out again
joining many other crumbs on a final journey
to being incinerated, crushed, and maybe
even put in the ground to rot
and, lover, I think I got off track
maybe, but not really
What I'm trying to say is that
Do not let yourself become crumbs
Do not rot away from the beauty of life
Do not follow in my footsteps
Do not become me.

My self hatred
burns under my skin
my blood is poison
I'm danger.

slugging back
cold blue sugar in a bottle
brain's under attack
wondering what caused the bobble.

Here I feel irrelevant
shoved in the back of the closet
of this **** website.
its like you all know you're better then me
and you make a point to prove it every time you can
and it hurts
but its only in my head
I know I can't write or rhyme correctly
I just need someone to blame
but its not your fault
that I might stop writing for a while.

well at least here.

desperate desperation despair
weak weaknesses weakening
breaking broke broken
I'm not asking you to understand

I was excited
when i saw the whited
out street
beneath my feet
and i almost screamed in joy
when i heard all girls an boys
had the day off
but then i had to scoff
at the fact that they
thought they could take away our day
in the wintry escape
and replace it with school not-so-great
where we'd feel like muck
cause what the ****
none of will ever think school
is ever that cool

Do you get it?
Of course you don't.

No one ever does.

No one cares, no one listens
No one
Even the little things hurt
I thought you'd pick up on that

I'm sick and tired
of not being able to enjoy
things that are special to me

I'm sick and tired
of feeling trapped
no matter what I choose

I'm sick and tired
of feeling like I
need to make that decision

I'm sick and tired
of being here
literally and figuratively

I'm sick and tired
of constantly needing
to get away from everyone

I'm sick and tired
of being quiet and
doing nothing about it

I'm sick and tired.

but I have not fallen
so you better watch out
this time I'm not afraid to run away

blank space
like my
blank face
shows no trace
of feeling outta place
its crazy
how dazed
I feel
is this real?
guess I don't
wanna know
I'd rather sit back
and watch the show.

im just gonna sit here and scratch off a little part of myself each time you hurt me until i just dont exist

Here's one thing
I'm having trouble
comprehending:

Why can't my
Story have a
Happier ending?

I disappear
down that
long
dark
tunnel

Run around
this
crawl under
that

no one will find me here.

Your life.

                                           Not theirs.

You got this.

                                           Stop asking for help.

You don't need it.


                         Neither do they.

Do I get excited at the thought of another new beginning?

Your lips,
Appearing sugar coated,
Once tasted
We're revealed to be
Dusted with arsenic

Sometimes
I cringe
at who
I am.
I step
outside myself
and gape
Because
why
am I so stupid?
and forgetful?
and fake?
and
how did
I become
so worthless?
the world
is better off
without me.

How can life be fun
When you're sad in the sun

How can life be fun
When you'd rather just run

How can life be fun
When you know that you're done

How can life be fun

When you're sad in the sun

How can life be fun

Ears to eyes and neck
lips on every speck
stopping now and then to check
is this real? oh what the heck
I give in to my freck-
-le flavored fantasy.

Let me kiss you like Holden kissed Jane.
Cause you never seem to feign
in making me blush
so just hush
before I turn to mush

Fire consumes her
Flies from her finger tips

Oh how many times can I say sorry?

It was a misunderstanding
I still want to be with her



Just not now

you ever just get
so happy
so happy you wanna cry
*******
if that isn't the best feeling.

I am here.

I am alive.

It is great.

laughing as I see
my mom had a good reason to be
about my closed door, worried
when it was dark and just you and me.

This cold day of snow
seemed fun at first, now it blows.
I'm bored, got nothing to do
taught myself binary, 10110 is 22.
I have an essay I need to rewrite
typing this up brings me more delight.
have a slight headache, I'm buzzy with sleep.
Where's the sanity I've been trying to keep?

fell into a black hole
pain weighed me down
but eventually I started to climb out
I could see the sun, hear the chirpy birds
and then
you dragged me back in
deeper then I'd ever been before
the walls crashed around me
so that I was buried
buried and so very alone

I want to see the sun again
I want to be over this
I want to run away

But I am stuck.

Time for a new mask.

Hopefully this one doesn't get me into trouble.

****, look what you did.
you ****** life up for yourself.
****, you did it again.

I wish to feel the warmth I see in pictures.
bright sunny sunshine beats down on two.
they must be in love, well, at least they look it.
Why don't I get to feel that?
Don't I deserve to find someone?
to not feel so alone?

I'm really starting to hate
How much I love you

I guess it's kinda sick
that I like it when all I feel is ick
Helps me to be creative, gives me thoughts
Its fun to write while watching yourself rot.
makes you more popular, cause "others feel it too"
I don't really care, as long as I get more views.


I'm willing to destroy myself
If you're willing to give me attention
makes me feel loved
I'd take any form of affection.