you grow to be this stranger
your reflection is no longer you
it's what others say that is you
your reflection is nothing but judgments
you become this walking opinion
filled with emptiness
your a balloon and all you want to do is explode out of your body
run away from not only this nonsensical earth but you wanna run away from yourself
your thoughts haunt your head
and you become comfortable with these feelings that it almost becomes frightening , you live your life a controlled zombie and no one understands and no one will ever understand
you don't even understand
you are a stranger to yourself

Why people cut themselves,
I would
never begin to understand.

ok. so now I am lying
because my cuts
were never truly planned.

I know why.
the pain.
the misery.
when it all becomes too much...

yes I know you think no one understands

that no one cares
its easy to pretend
that you're tough

and tried true-
your ******* up in the air
saying *******

when really everything hurts
trust me I know
I didn't cut because I have more scars on my wrist
than lines in a notebook

I was so spiral bound up inside
that I
I never told anyone
they just thought those lines were
accidental wounds in reality
but sadly this was just a self destructive behavior and mentality

but soon when I began to heal
my wounds became scars
mapping out like constellations and stars
all over my arms

I don't hide em
this is me
I wear them with pride
like the rings on my fingers
because I've promised myself
my fingers will never touch another razor blade

I've made progress
and the scars begin to dissipate
like it's all clear
no chaos no havoc

the bleedings receding
inside the darkness is fleeting
suffocation to
breathing

my heart.
my heart is now beating

and I can understand why pain reflects itself
projects pain in the form of self injury.

so I lied.
I always // knew // why.

I keep making mistakes all the time
Without even learning my lesson
To me, life seems just so unkind
I often wish I was still seven

I regret pretty much everything
What I did and what I couldn't do
I'm not even good at forgetting
Even though I'd really like to