KJ - Hello Poetry

KJ Jan 2018

The blossoming of trust
What a beautiful sight to see
Whispering secrets
Just between you and me

I thought we were forever
What a friend I gained
You took this wondrous thing
You took it and you maimed

Did the lies burn your throat
Or does deceit set you free
Was any of it real
Or did you just want to hurt me

Congratulations
You have won
What a pedestal of evil
You have put yourself on

I'll smile and nod and laugh
But, the real me is gone from you
You ruined it with your hate
We won't begin anew

You think I don't know
All the things you've said
There's nothing left for us to save
Thanks to all of your bloodshed

You sacrificed my heart
You played a game of deceit
Despite your cruel ways
Next time, it won't be me that's beat

#betrayal #depression #panic #hurt #pain #depressed #anxiety #broken #twofaced #deceit

KJ Jan 2018

broken trust

I don't trust you anymore
You've broken that for me
You only know how to take and lie
You've shattered everything

The pieces will surround us
To broken to be fixed
You'll be left to wonder
"How could I do this?"

You'll be left to choke
On all of your mistakes
How do you cope
With the weight of all your hate

I'll never understand
Why you would betray
A true and loyal friend
I guess that's why you're fake

You don't know how to care
Or how to truly love
One day, when you're left all alone
You'll really know what you've done

#broken #trust #depressed #depression #hurt #pain #betrayed #fake

KJ Jan 2018

rip to the broken girl

maybe I should stop blaming others
maybe I'm not really worth that much

it pains me to admit
that they were right all along

they were right to leave
to mock and laugh and scheme

my ruined self esteem
was just an easy target I see

let's laugh at the broken girl
poke fun behind her back

maybe they aren't the problem
maybe I should just go

who needs a broken girl
just bury me alone

#depressed #anxiety #depression #hurt #pain #selfhate #death

KJ Jan 2018

slaughterhouse of lies

do the lies sting in your throat
do they burn in your mouth
like acid when you spit them out

how do you keep up
with your slaughterhouse of pain
how do you drown out the screaming

shattered windows and blood splattered floors
cracked ceilings and half rotten doors

your lies are like knives
slicing so lightly
your words are like fire
burning me so brightly

scars litter my body
scars coat my brain

you say you are my friend
then why do you bring pain

what's the point in lying
just tell me the truth

if this keeps going
your words will turn into my noose

#depression #anxiety #hurt #pain #depressed #hurting

KJ Jan 2018

bleed me dry

I will bleed
I will bleed out on these pages
It will tell the story
of who I used to be

The story of a girl
who trusted and loved
so so
openly

A naive little thing
who put so much faith
into people
who would only disappoint me

I still feel the phantom pains
of knives in my heart and back
of your betrayal and lies
are you proud of that

I've turned into this creature
with blood red lips
crimson stained hands
curled into a fist

The blood pouring
spurting out
spilling over
painting the floor red

I won't hide my hurting
not any longer

#hurting #pain #depression #anxiety #hurt #depressed

KJ Jan 2018

no such thing as friends

what can't you understand?
why can't you see?

do you even care
how this affects me?

hateful words, spite filled phrases
twisted up behind a Cheshire cat smile

mocking me, haunting me
putting me on trial

friends are friends
until they're not

whispered words, behind my back
you've been caught

was it worth it?
your apology will be too late

how do you survive
without choking on your hate?

friends are friends
or so they say

the truth comes out
at the end of the day

you really can't trust anyone can you

#depression #friendship #anxiety #fake #hurt #backstabber

KJ Jan 2018

death is easy

I tried to ride the high
I tried to carry on
To continue this good feeling

I tried to be happy
To laugh and live
But I cannot try any longer

I do not think
That I am made to be happy
Maybe I am made for misery

Every time I get close to joy
It is ripped away from me
By my own mind, or the horrible circumstances surrounding me

I find myself becoming
An empty shell
Crumbling beneath the weight of living

Somehow, I keep growing
Letting myself get filled with hope
Only to be found

Broken
And
Empty

Sometimes living is just too hard for me

#depression #anxiety #hurting #depressed