I feel better off dead
broken promises of those who I loved dearly
feeling invisible & their actions stated clearly
that I was only needed when on their time
so I struggle to survive most of my days feeling my soul dying
from trying to love as I said I would
but yet, my heart remains ignored & misunderstood.

I feel better off dead
drinking heavy & contemplating on suicide
waiting to go home where the other departed souls reside
wanting to get high just to ease the pain within
caused by enemies posing themselves as friends
I see that monster in my eyes but I refuse to let unleash it
feeling like it’s just evil provoking & I can beat it
but I keep losing control every tear I shed
from thinking how life will change once I’m dead
free from the pain, free from the hurt
no longer living with fear that one day my heart will deperse

Sometimes I was the one responsible for your tears
Sometimes you were responsible for my tears
Sometimes I was the blame for the pain you suffered
Sometimes you were the blame for the love that was never discovered
I wish you were the one losing sleep over the love you lost
I wish you were the one losing focus to what was more than a thought
I’m the one who’s supposed to cry, I’m the one who’s supposed to be broken
You wanted Foreverness, I gave you eternality
Tried building us up but you pulled us down like gravity
You’re bringing up mistakes I made to tarnish what we established
Trying to perfect a game plan that was never practiced
We put each other in this space to which we don’t wanna be
I was hoping to marry your love but you didn’t see a future with me
From blowing each other up to missed calls & unread texts
Pushing you away due to a broken heart that I’m trying to protect
You didn’t trust someone like me, I was too good to be true
I’m watching you walk away while falling deeper in love with you
I wish you could believe me when I say crying isn’t easy to do
Especially when the tears I shed are because of you

If Wishes Had Wings, I’d be idolized by millions
saving & impacting the lives of many scarred children
If Wishes Had Wings, the world would be free from pain
no more dark clouds surrounded by depressing rains
If Wishes Had Wings, the silent tears would be clearly heard
life would be less horrific so we’d worry less of the overwhelming storms
If Wishes Had Wings, the act of happiness shall be of reappearance
provide my mental slaves with the proper deliverance
If Wishes Had Wings, Love wouldn’t be so scary to obtain
heart break would be a stranger while the kingdom we have will still reign
If Wishes Had Wings, there would no longer be Hell on Earth
take away all the evil from life to grant us the proper rebirth
If Wishes Had Wings, heartbreaks around the world would sing
the greatest melody performed by all the broken Kings & Queens
If Wishes Had Wings, God forgive us for the lives we’ve been sinning in
trapped in a cold evil world that we’re forced but isolatedly living in
never intending to be heartless but our hearts have turned cold
frustratedly feeling the shattering of love to which a false interest beholds
possessing a tale that’s very relating but only a few understand
how being lonely & disappointed can take a toll on more than man

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

I’ve got these scars on my fist, invisible cuts on my wrist
never thought I’d come to a moment like this
a broken image in the shattered mirror to which I’m looking through
while crying my eyes out cause I’m thinking of you
how you were so depressed yet angry with the universe
feeling like a loner cause no soul understand the curse
of being a fatherless child while seeing your mother painfully surviving
the abuse of another broken lover from the arguments & fighting
not only from his rage but from the hatred felt from a family root
gone rotten after the death of the King & Queen that started it all
only to see a once beloved kingdom take a devastating fall
& there you was in the mix seeing it all unravel without knowing what’s taking place
trying to cope with knowing the truth years later after life turns 19
to know that everything was a lie you were exposed to as a teen
you were doubted & isolated since you come outta the womb
of the very mother that was blessed the second you came to
but her tears were imprinted in your heart & they became a part of you
So face to face as I let you go so you'll know what happiness feels like
as you carry on, no longer putting this dark cloud over your life
that makes you feel like you won’t feel peace until you’re buried
so go be happy, I can’t bring myself higher to make your future more scary
- Poetic Venom

It’s the melody of a voice
the sunset when looking in her eyes
like when Daylight & Mother Nature kiss each other good night
then the beauty appears when they’re creating love just right

I’m thinking of her when I daze at the stars
& thank God above even when I haven’t met her yet
but I know that she’s the one for me
cause not only do I see the future but a beautiful legacy

She reminds of what it feels like when 2 hearts collide
fall in love & make more than dreams come true
create a legacy that’s beyond just beautiful
So yea when I see the the moon dance with the stars
it’s you that inspires the song
cause you look right at me & in my heart
is where your soul belongs

- Poetic Venom

I spent my whole life putting other people before me
Doing whatever it took to prove my love for the same ones to ignore me
Battled with depression more than often, losing myself thru their back stabbing
Carrying this smile on my face but not one ever really noticed I was faking
I doubted myself & questioned if I was the one who was worthless
Trying to change myself just for these people to see me as “perfect”
My biggest regret was trying to change who I was for their acceptance
They didn’t want my real love or my heart, it was always neglected
But then I made a change & placed myself before everyone else, I saw a change
People walking outta my life due to my selfishness but I’m on a new page
Got tired of reading old chapters, getting used to the way things badly ended
Making enemies outta the same ones whose vibe I befriended
I was being dragged thru hell for too long but now I’m losing people as I find my true identity
No longer letting those who don’t love me destroy & break me down mentally
I had more than 20 friends I cared for, now I can barely name 5 who stuck around
I guess when you focus more on you then them, you start to see who’s really down
I lost myself trying to please everyone & doing the most to be that perfect being
I’m more happy than I’ve ever been, Lord knows it’s the most beautiful feeling
Gaining little pieces of my life back, gathering pieces of my heart back
And I have yet to lose a friend that I would want back

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

This is crazy, I found me a lady
on some Jodeci vibes, Forever My Lady
Her smile alone keeps driving me crazy
fooled by the hype, thank goodness you saved me
I’m only trying to be King, we can wait later for the baby
cause I wanna see you walk down that aisle
& call you my wife before making a child
a rare breed that doesn’t come around too often
more than a Queen, a real life Goddess walking
If you were to walk away, I’d lose the better half of me
me deceiving you, that’s blasphemy
Too many good ones get left behind or used for selfish reasons
but this world wouldn’t be sh*t if you were to leave it
That’s why I salute you to the highest power
there’s no better love in this universe that I desire
- Poetic Venom

Don’t wanna cry anymore, don’t wanna die anymore
I look up in the sky & don’t wanna fly anymore
I’m tryna be everyone’s hero but I’m the one that needs saving
On the verge of falling apart, i can feel my heart breaking
Many see me as their savior but I’m far from it
They show me this angel in me & i struggle trying to become it
Using poetry as a key to bring light to the pain hidden in darkness
And the power to heal the wounds of the hearts used as targets

I don’t wanna die anymore, don’t wanna cry anymore
I look up in the sky & don’t wanna fly anymore
If i walk away now, who’s life would i jeopardize
Seeing an inspiration give it all up to watch his soul fly
Save me from the tears, save me from the scars
Save me from the misery that leaves me resting with the stars

I don’t wanna die anymore, don’t wanna cry anymore
I look up in the sky & don’t wanna fly anymore
This is my purpose so i can’t give up what’s kept me alive
Can’t pretend to be happy with the obvious pain i try to hide
I don’t wanna die anymore, don’t wanna cry anymore
I look up in the sky & don’t wanna fly anymore

- Poetic Venom

We drifted far apart from each other but the feelings still reside
I can say that you don’t have an effect still but why lie?
It’s not the experiences that live, just the memories that remain
& every love song that comes on has you dancing on my brain
I still display this smile because of you
I still believe in love because of you
I still feel like a King because of you
I still feel like i can fly, because of you
Waves never die, they just crash for the moment
And you’ve made me feel almighty when I fell to my lowest
Even in a dark world, the sun still shines
Even when the world stops, your heart I’ll still find
And when those waves crash to shore, you’ll then see
how much you’ll always mean to me
☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

That whole night was amazing, spending time with a female friend before sexing her crazy
Pulled up for a night out, went to the movies, & grab food I was feeling her maybe
Stopped at this lake to end the night out as we cuddled in my backseat
Watching the stars dance across the sky while listening to some 90’s R&B
Right before I realized it, our lips would touch
I pulled her on top of me then I felt this sudden rush
I haven’t been in action for a long time & my hormones are raging
I’m taking her clothes off as my heartbreak keeps racing
My heart’s telling me to stop while I’m ahead but my head & body say keep going
And how could I resist the lust from the emotions to which she’s showing
So there I am on top of her kissing her from the lips all the down to her thighs
Putting my tongue to good use while the excitement lights up her eyes
I climb back on top of her, slowly work my way in as she gasps her air
Telling me I’m the biggest she’s had & the previous love interest doesn’t compare
The windows begin to fog up, we begin to sweat, & I’m just cruising my way inside her body
Doing all the moves I’ve seen in explicit movies as I get a little cocky
An hour & a half of ****** acts go by then we conclude the experience
We get dressed but judging by the look in her eye, I can tell she was delirious
I dropped her off, kissed her lips, then she tells me she loves me & was rather serious
Fast forward almost a year later after conversations died down
I’m still texting her to make sure she’s ok due to personal issues at home
She’s getting ready to move away from the nest to be out all on her own
Then something tells me to check her Facebook page & there I see
A beautiful baby girl but I’m questioning if it really looks like me
Biracial with beautiful eyes & a beautiful smile, I can’t believe it
Is this bundle of joy mine? When did she even conceive it?
I’m blowing up her phone with a million questions but she’s not telling me no
Beating around the bush with speculations about that night we shared
Got me pacing me back & forth out of excitement but a little scared
Loving her wasn’t a mistake but the fear of the kid growing up like me
In 2 different households by 2 parents who barely know each other, this isn’t like me
I’m not sure if she’s been with someone else after me but she strongly denies it
Told her if it’s proven to be my daughter then I’ll definitely provide care for it
So I asked one last time if the baby’s mine then she says it’s her little cousin
Birthed by her guardian aunt then my heart stops rushing
Telling me if I was the father then she would’ve told me if she was pregnant
Saying she loves me too much to throw that on me unexpected
And that she loves me too much not to allow me to be the father I’m meant to be
I deserve the most beautiful family I can create that’s a reflection of me
Hopefully when that times does come, I’ll be a married man & financially stable
Not afraid to raise em better than me or to raise them in a world that can be cold & fatal

✰ Poetic Venom ✰

Don’t tell me you love me because I know you don’t
Don’t tell me you’ll always be in my corner cause I know you won’t
Everything I touch falls apart so I can no longer hold your heart
Never in possession of the right hand so I can’t play the right card
You look at me & see a King, that’s what I struggle with
so I tend to push away just to keep you from facing undeserved punishment
You tell me you can handle my darkness but I know it’s too overwhelming
I’ve done enough damage to your heart to sit & watch the swelling
I don’t know if it’s the women I choose or the women I tend to lose
but everytime love meets me face to face, my interest in it begins to snooze
I tell myself I’ve been hurt too much but maybe I haven’t hurt enough
I say that I’m ready to settle but then again, I don’t even want love
Never a lonely king but the missing piece to the puzzle is what I seek
& I can pretend to be happy without it but that part of me will never be complete
I tell you to leave me be but I know I can’t handle watching you leave
then I realize the fool I’ve been then I fall down & beg on my knees
My past has me torn cause I fear going thru the same pain once again
so please forgive me if you fight to have my heart but I don’t allow you to win
I don’t want you to fall for the terror, you can do bad all by yourself
cause you can’t possibly love someone who barely loves themself
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

Valentines Day of 93, a star was birthed to the world
extremely gifted from the womb with big things to unfurl
A broke product growing up on the streets of Lynchburg
Red Top to be exact with a message to the world waiting to be heard
At the age of 9, he found his passion by scanning thru old notebooks
that his mom kept private with her thoughts of cold world that’s been shook
The process began by summarizing what he read thru the English text
slowly got good with it but the question remained, what’s next?
Senior year of high school, the unthinkable would take place
one individual would turn heads from his diary of hidden hate
felt from those around him & from those who did him wrong
expressing how he was breaking down inside & didn’t know how to be strong
A nervous wreck before getting on stage to confess his inner feelings
but finished it like a concert to hear the applause raising up to the ceiling
But that was years ago & sometimes I question if I’m really star worthy
like I should keep my poems to myself cause this world doesn’t deserve me
but it makes me think of the things that I’d like to achieve
or the other people who need my guidance to believe
How could I be the star in my mind if the spotlight which is mine that I’m scared to possess
then to hear those who admire me tell me that I’m the best
Yea a star was born on that cold Sunday evening but seeing that star shine scares me
yet the feeling of overcoming the odds still manages to compel me
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

I’m silent but my presence is well spoken
a heart golden yet badly broken
a poetic sense but metaphorically misunderstood
trying to do right but still punished for doing good
& for all this time, I’ve been missing the main key
to the mystery of understanding the mystery of Me
Poetic Venom

For the life of me, I just can’t figure it out
I’m always headed down the right road
but outta nowhere, I’m forced to stop
with the emotions & feelings within
that were invested in someone before I hit a dead end
Here I am thinking we’re side by side
but when I look around, she’s not there
I’m just standing there all by myself
trying to figure out what I did wrong
so I can resolve it & get back to where I belong
You were waiting for me to make a mistake
but it never happened, my ways never changed
& you saw how my heart was designed
I gave you all of me but there was never an exchange
Our road ends here with no happiness being captured
No love being the focus & no mutual happiness to be shared
Becoming distant & falling outta interest even faster
Watching everything fall apart in front of me but I don’t try to fix it
Saying goodbye to what used to be knowing deep down, I’ll probably miss it
- Pencasso

Ever meet that one person in life
feeling like they’re meant to complete your life
Been knowing each other for years
but every time you turn around, you’re causing each other tears
Barely speak like you used to but you’re too caught up to love another
can’t love anyone else cause you’re too in love with each other
You’d rather suffer the storm with them
than to enjoy a sunny day without em
Can’t move on from them cause you’d be miserable without em
Throughout all the fuss & fighting, the feeling of making up makes you forget
that this relationship is like a roller coaster with overwhelming twist
If you didn’t miss em so much, you’d **** em off mentally
Feeling your heart break every time you say good bye
Missing em every minute & can’t help but cry
If you could survive life without em, you’d try
no rehab needed, their drug is the perfect high
Laying in a bed built specifically for your guns & roses

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

Be my Light when my World goes Dark

Be my Strength when I feel Weak

Be my Happily Ever After minus the Cost

Be my Faith when all Hope feels Lost

Be my Forever, not just my Today

Be the Sun in my Sky, Be the Tear in my Eyes

Be not another Goodbye

I know there’s a woman out there right now crying her eyes out
Gave her all to a fool & he just let her down
I know she gotta be feeling like she’ll never be good enough
Like she’ll never meet a man that’s loyal enough
Another sleepless night, another case of deja vu
Thinking what she did to deserve the pain he put her through
She never had real love, only met fools who wanted her goodies
Pretending to be a King when he’s only sweet talking to get her cookies
Here we go once again, your heart suffered another tragedy
Getting shot down by love again, facing another sad reality
I can hear your heart crying & it makes me cry when I listen
Hearing the things it’s experiencing & steady thinking something’s missing
You wanna be loved but *** seems like the only thing that we really seek
Feeding you a bunch of lies & never practice what we preach
I know you must feel like it’s end of the world & you’re single forever
But somebody’s gonna love day & treat you 10x better
I know you’re tired of the games that us men are always running
Beating around the bush fronting like we don’t want nothing
I hear those tears you cry, that’s I wrote this letter
Somebody’s gonna love you one day & become your Forever
Every mistake in love has a lesson to teach
This clowns aren’t the one for you, that’s why they got impeached
Somebody’s gonna love you, just gonna take time before you find em
Loving you isn’t gonna easy but you gotta take the time to guide em
I know you feel like you ain’t good enough & that I understand
You’re mixed up in a society where there’s more players than man
So used to the clowns that a real man just might scare you
All these lessons love’s teaching you are only gonna prepare you
For when you finally meet the one then your world begins to light up
Love is getting your perfect match ready so please never give up
Somebody’s gonna love you & I know that’s hard to believe
But when the right one comes, no matter how hard loving you may seem, they’ll never leave

These thoughts have been teasing me for quite some time
thinking of ways to stop the madness without crossing the line
You say you wanna wait when I’m ready to commit
but this decision that you’re making won’t let my ego quit
See I’m out here on the prowl trying to see how much damage I can make
when I fail to really see how much pain one could create
And I can’t even blame you for the decisions that I’m making
trying to fill the avoid of being lonely & the one night stands I’m chasing
You ask me how I feel but I can’t really explain it
how the love I’m dying for, I can’t obtain it
I’m trying not to lose myself loving you but every day I lose a piece
I reach out for your help but you’re never there for my reach
You taught me how to be a King but what’s a King without his Queen
& a castle without a foundation to keep it withstanding his dream
of raising a kingdom for his Prince & Princess to herit
cause I refuse to let em carry the torch when it’s too shattered for them to carry it
You want me to be that King but you make me question if I’m really that
the love a King is supposed to give, I stopped feeling that love coming back
I'm running outta time, please make up your mind
cause I refuse to lose myself anymore trying to love you
I gotta save myself before this stress gives me the flatline
mentally passing on & it's all because of you
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

You want love, i want lust
I can’t hold you down, don’t waste the trust
You seek a wedding ring, i want a one night thing
Pour your heart out but nothing will change
Why dig for love when it’s not there
Chasing hopeless dreams, getting nowhere
You desire love & I’m your point of interest
Mind’s playing tricks on you so you question my distance
You thought i was different but what’s the difference
Between me & the others who turned out the same but seemed different
Looking for mutual interest from me, you tripping
When you hallucinate about my presence but it’s missing
Giving you no attention except when i call for action
to come over & deliver ****** satisfaction
You hate my ways but do you
actually think about what this guy has been thru
with the last females that i gave my all to
& they showed me what love can really do to you
when you invest so much time & commitment
but they’ll gladly leave you broken & reminiscing
I’m nothing short of a mirage but your eyes can’t see
that I’m not worth your time, obviously
Your mind better apologize for all the lies
that made you cry, waiting for my love but I’m not that guy

I knew this kid named Jason who spent his afternoons locked in the basement
no father present & his mom an alcoholic, afraid of the light & hell feeling adjacent
been attached to many individuals but always ending up as a backup to a replacement
with death calling his name every day & he’s so eager to chase it
The only time his moms shows em attention is when she wants to beat him
because she’s still scarred from an abusive father so like trash is how she treats him
& numb her pain, she either fills her body with substance or brings hell to her seed
locked in this hell we call life, Jason just wants to be free
What his mom doesn’t know is that Jason gets bullied at school
for being gay & a nerd, the punishment he takes is just cruel
alone he sits in the corner with the music blasting in his ears
watching the world spend around him as he exist in fears
not knowing when someone will push him around or throw his books in the trash
or the next time he’s made of in front of the class
especially when the teachers see this horrific events play out but they don’t intervene
to help him & I’m there looking from across the room in disbelief of what I’m seeing
One day we walk in class before everyone else & I notice something different
that caught my eye without even paying attention
I see scars on his arms & a bruise located on his neck
so I approach him to question the damage he’s trying to hide
“I was jumped at home & my mom abused me last night” he replied
He begins to cry right before me & I break down as I hear the pain in the voice
so I walked him to the restroom as I’m left without a choice
I asked him “Why do you get bullied so much? What’s the reason you’re being targeted”
he tells me that it’s because he’s gay & the abuse is pain he mother feels from what his father did
he used to beat her whenever she came home late from work or if he felt like she was cheating.
And he **** near killed her on her 45th birthday after hearing she was leaving.”
So I asked how she managed to escape that experience & his response brought tears
He said “She shot him while he was trying to **** her, she finally got tired of the fears
but something inside of her hasn’t healed yet so she gets drunk every day
to numb the pain but every day I pray that she finds herself & escape
the prisoner within herself that still haunts her since that night
then I looked at him & told him, I’m about to change your life
He then looks at me & says “What do you mean?”
I said, “Just stick with me from now on & I promise you’ll be safe while you’re here”
I hate bullies & as long as you’re with me, you have nothing to fear
Why do you even care about me? What makes you any different
I said “We’re in a bathroom alone & you’re not screaming help within the distance”
“So you don’t see me as a “******” or just some nerd with cuts his skin?”
No, I see you as a gift from God with a bright future who’s trying to win
Someone trapped in the wrong world with no friends nearby
An angel flying solo but terrified while sorrowing thru a dark thundering sky
So a month goes by, my phone rings, & I hear Jason crying
I’m calling his name but he’s not replying
crying Jason crying Jason pill bottle drops JASON as I yell out
Whatever you do, just relax & put the pill bottle down
Dre …. I can’t do this anymore, I don’t wanna live anymore … I’m sorry
He gasps for air with 15 pills swimming in his body
I rushed to his house, kicked open the door, & sprint downstairs to the basement
JASON … JASON … JASON … dead silence as I make my way through the room
& there I find him, passed out & bleeding from his arm in a pool of blood in the bathroom
“911 … yes, I’d like to report an emergency. My friend isn’t breathing”
I give them the address then Jason opens his eyes … Dre don’t go, “I ain’t leaving”
5 mins later, the paramedics show up, Jason overdosed on sleeping pills
“Was he suicidal?” they asked, “Yea, he’s going through a lot & you know depression tries to ****
us with the mind tricks it plays on us trying to convince us that we’re better off dead
And there I am, crying & praying as I sit next to his hospital bed
Jason wakes up at 8:15 pm, “Dre, what happened to me?”
I blacked out & all I remember is seeing my dad molesting me
“You tried to **** yourself”, I said. “You called me crying & I rushed over to your house”
Raced down to the basement to see all over the walls, the floor, & your couch
“You know when I took those pills, I wasn’t expecting you to save me”
“Why would you think that?” I replied. “Because I thought you’d leave after seeing my darkside
& the thought of you doing the opposite, I thought I was crazy”
With your back against the wall & the whole world against you, I’ll be there to have your back
& I don’t call you my brother cause it sounds cool or because I want something back
You’re a good kid Jason, you’re just mixed up in a cold world trying to survive
but as long as I’m alive, I’ll make sure you never need a reason to be revived
As the Lord is my witness, you’ll always have a brother in me
& I have so much faith in you because you remind me of a younger me
At war with yourself trying to be better & inspire others to be great
so I’ll always love you for having a massive heart regardless of suffering from the hate
- Poetic Venom

2018 was one of the most emotional years from me
trying to cope with friends leaving me
Anxiety & depression got the best of me
but still God sees the best in me
I had my brother visit me in my sleep
but I don’t even know what it means
I could see his face but I couldn’t touch em
& it broke me to see em fade away after I tried to hug me
I woke in tears, feeling like I let em down
cause I’m trying to be with him even though it’s not my time go
So much anger & sadness inside of me but no one to express to
with my anxiety tells me “Dre no one cares for you”
So I spend most of my nights pacing back & forth in my room
closing my eyes hoping I’ll get that next phase soon
Mental meds & pain pills lay next to my bed so I contemplate an overdose
but who I am to take myself away from those who love me most
I see that man I’m supposed to be but becoming him is what scares me
cause the person I’m leaving just doesn’t compare to me
Some tell me to go back to my roots but those roots don’t exist me
& the family that I used to know aren’t the same folks to me
Truth is, I’m not happy but I don’t think I ever was
I’m just a sadder version of the person that the old me was
I tell my mom I’m okay cause I can’t tell her I wanna die sometimes
knowing that my heart can’t take seeing her cry
I can’t make her bury her baby boy, I’m supposed to be the soldier
I’m supposed to be the angel bringing us closer
But how can one be the one if the one is shattered
barely hanging on by a thread, feeling life ending faster
I’m a blessing to many but not even a blessing to oneself
loving everyone else more than I could ever love myself
Trying to be everyone’s hero while neglecting myself
Saving everyone else from their storms & slowly killing myself
I lost myself helping others now I’m losing everyone finding myself
I guess when it all boils down, all you ever have is yourself
If crying is the closest thing to Godliness, will it be the key to my happiness?
If I come to terms with my demons, will it cure my paranoia & sleeplessness?
I’m tired of the frustration, tired of the depression
Tired of the struggle, tired of the aggression
Tired of fake smiling, tired of not being to cry
Tired of having all the questions but no one can tell me why
Tell me why I’m eager to fly. Tell me why I’m eager to die
Tell me why I can’t find peace. Tell me why I’m act happy when it’s all a lie
A lot of enemies surround me & I can’t tell who’s actually an ally
I’m losing myself, I can no longer lie
All I ever do is fail, why must I continue to try
My tears will set me free but my pride won’t let it go
-Poetic Venom

When the night stays awake, I’m usually lost within my mind
trying to place things together & living in the past of time
Thinking about my mistakes wishing I could go back
to redo my actions all over again cause I know karma comes back
full force & that effect weighs heavy on my mental
but reading minds or emotions isn’t exactly fundamental
I toss & turn in my bed getting up every 5 minutes to clear my head
with my music blasting thru the air & my phone full of messages unread
because I get into my feelings then write my emotions in my diary
then send em off to those who either motivated or inspired me
I’m more haunted by my thoughts & I’m running away from regrets
pacing back & forth giving thanks to God whenever I feel blessed
When the night stays awake, the morning tends to snooze longer
but I’m so eager for the next chapter so I become a stalker
Sleep can’t find me, my thoughts keep me hidden within my matrix
causing my anxiety to rush when my mind tends to play tricks
- Poetic Venom

I woke this morning feeling good & ready to start my day
Washed up, got dressed, then got on my knees to pray
Asked God to look after everyone I love, to keep em safe
And to make today a great beautiful day
As I proceed with my daily activities, I start getting this bad feeling
Like something was about to occur, either a tragedy or another senseless killing
But as soon as I’m enjoying myself as always, something tells me to check my phone
I open Instagram only to see the saddest news, another King knocked from the throne
Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy has been pronounced dead, gunned down in his car
As soon as I’m healed from depression, here comes another unexpected scar
A guidance to many, hated by many, but his message recognized by a large few
And the same ones who hated were now the ones showing love, what’s new?
Trapped in this cold world, you were the light that overshadowed the darkness
This world needed a new direction of guidance & you were the one to spark it
Lost your life in a senseless way but your music & message will live eternally
Only thing is that your bright side will now shine over the madness
Still an empty place in the hearts of the family that your music was the answer to their sadness
Long live a King on a mission to save himself as well as those who’ve followed his lead
Rest in Paradise & thank you for giving those such as myself the faith to believe

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

We all wanna be Free from pain & Free from hell
Free from the sadness & Free from that mental jail
Free from depression & Free from the Anger
Free from the fears & Free from self danger
Free from the one thing we run from the most
Free from self destruction & hurting those we love most
What’s the price from freedom? What are the steps to be taken?
How much can be build up before one begins to lose patience?
What’s the destination to freedom? Is it worth being free?
If the truth lies within existence, how long before they begin to see?
Free every Lost Soul from themselves & from the harm they’ve endured
Reveal the light & show them a new world that’s waiting to be explored
Do you wanna Free or forever exist within the pain that traps you?
Do you seek Happiness or forever remain with the hell you’re attached to?
Seek Freedom or remain a slave to what you’re afraid to depart from
Be Free from the chains on your life or continue to be controlled by the mind
Be Free or forever pay the price for the same uncommitted crime
Slaves to the mind, slaves to that addiction, & slaves to the pain
Suffering the most due to commitment & it’s ourselves that we blame
What’s Freedom? How long does it take one to find it?
Silence speaks very clear for the scars that rest behind it
Just wanna be Free, free from everything that you’ve been running from your whole life
And if Freedom is really what they make it out to be, is there a sacrifice?

We all wanna be Free from pain & Free from hell
Free from the sadness & Free from that mental jail
Free from depression & Free from the Anger
Free from the fears & Free from self danger
Free from the one thing we run from the most
Free from self destruction & hurting those we love most
What’s the price from freedom? What are the steps to be taken?
How much can be build up before one begins to lose patience?
What’s the destination to freedom? Is it worth being free?
If the truth lies within existence, how long before they begin to see?
Free every Lost Soul from themselves & from the harm they’ve endured
Reveal the light & show them a new world that’s waiting to be explored
Do you wanna Free or forever exist within the pain that traps you?
Do you seek Happiness or forever remain with the hell you’re attached to?
Seek Freedom or remain a slave to what you’re afraid to depart from
Be Free from the chains on your life or continue to be controlled by the mind
Be Free or forever pay the price for the same uncommitted crime
Slaves to the mind, slaves to that addiction, & slaves to the pain
Suffering the most due to commitment & it’s ourselves that we blame
What’s Freedom? How long does it take one to find it?
Silence speaks very clear for the scars that rest behind it
Just wanna be Free, free from everything that you’ve been running from your whole life
And if Freedom is really what they make it out to be, is there a sacrifice?

I let you control my life for 6 months & for what?
Just because you were the only source of healing that I could trust?
The pain that life has caused me makes it hard for me to balance
& nobody knew about this, I kept everything private
They don’t know how you called my name at 2am, I came running
just for you to stop that pain that never stopped running
I crushed you up into powder before I poured you into my drink
******* me up so bad to where I couldn’t even think
You chose a weak soul to manipulate, I fell for your comfort
all because I couldn’t bare with the feeling within that made me suffer
You made me crazy, you made me lazy
had me feeling low like your feeling was all I ever needed
You were supposed to be a one night stand but I got attached to you
felt like nothing else mattered & all I needed was you
You can do no wrong to me, only supply the perfect cure for me
when I needed that love, it was you that was there for me
Anxiety, depression, anger, paranoia, you made me feel forget it all
had me flying above the clouds when life wouldn’t let me do anything but crawl
Why did you do this to me? Why is your loving too resist?
Why am I so attached to something that make me feel under like this?
You’re that demon I can’t shake away but you’re the source that takes my pain away
& ever since I accepted your love, I’ve watched everyone walk away
You said you loved me yet you’re taking my life away
killing my system as I keep swallowing your substance away
I had 2 ways of getting rid of you, either overdosing or flushing what remains
just to go back to facing my demons by punching walls til my fist gets blood stains
So here’s to you, my bad habit of pain killing pill popping drug addiction
may you rest in peace forever, here’s my benediction

obsessed with the feeling

tried hard to overcome it

running from fate

regret fills my face

saw a trap & took the bait

the right one wasn't worth the wait

rolling stone in the night

the man I've become

consider me the luckiest man alive

waking up to you & that face

bringing joy to my world

still finding it hard to believe

you're here living life along with me

& I were to lose you

I'd lose the greatest part of me

Look at me now dad, never thought I’d get to this point in life
Where I no longer hate you & now understand the lesson you taught me in life
See the thing was, I resented you because you were never there
sent $80 a week but that only made me think you didn’t care
Mama was strong enough to deal with the pain & raise me right
but inside I was lonely & sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night
You were that missing ingredient that I needed for a healthy life
& I believed that being my father came with a price
It’s funny how I hated you for so long just to see that I was like you
making common mistakes of a man just like you
but no disrespect, everybody gotta make mistakes when they grow up
stumble a few times in life before their maturity begins to show up
I don’t know the full story, I just know I lost my dad before knowing who he was
feeling like a lost cause because I was always looking for his love
I’m still your son, you’re still my father, that’s something we can’t change
but I forgive you for not being there even if this means things won’t change
I see you have other kids that you’re raising & I’m happy that you’re being that man
that they need, glad that you’re giving them a chance
to know the man that I never knew but I’m proud of you
& I pray that God keeps watching over you.
And with that being said, I’ve grown up tremendously & I no longer hate you
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

Ladies, I have a question. Maybe you can help me understand
How y’all claim to be heartless but lowkey desiring a man
I get that you’re paranoid & tired of being heartbroken
Dismissing every man that approaches you asking your heart to open
Not gonna argue with your reasons, in fact I agree
But in a bunch of phonies, there’s always a King looking for that key
So used to peasants that you can’t recognize a real one in your presence
All you know is hurt so you curve any man even if he’s not your preference
Thinking every guy is full of himself & do what the last man did
Making every man suffer from the mistakes of the previous man’s bid
During the day, you front the mask of savage just to keep guys away
But at night you’re in your feelings wishing a man would love you the right way
Seeing other girls cuffed up & inside it makes you jealous
Cause you wanna be loved even tho you front to be careless
Pretending to be a savage? Please, stop the charade
Still attached to that infamous broken record & it’s devastating serenade
False savages protecting something like it’ll forever be shattered
Never wanting to love again like every man’s love comes with a hazard
Stopping playing the savage, we all know you want true love
Not saying you shouldn’t protect your heart but don’t every man pay for the mistakes of your last love
Love can be beautiful once you meet the perfect one that defines it
Your heart will feel like a treasure once the right one finds it
If you go as hard for a King as you do for a peasant, Love will be a Blessing
But if you continue to impersonate a savage when you lowkey wanna be love then your nights will forever be depressing

I see you cry all the time & it’s always over a man
Over him only thinking of himself & how he doesn’t understand
A man will be a man & he’ll do whatever he chooses to
If you allow him to mistreat & underappreciates you
You’re Too Beautiful to Cry over a man won’t wipe away the tears
Too Precious to chase after a fool that’ll only reestablish your fears
What I’m saying may go over your head & that’s perfectly fine
Just trying to bring out the smile that you want instead of seeing you cry
You’re Too Beautiful to Cry, you gotta realize that you’re a Blessing
To the right King whose love will truly be worth sharing
Sometimes we face more heart breaks before we meet our Dream Come True
And that moment will make us realize that it was worth what we’ve been through
You’re Too Beautiful to Cry, everyone we meet isn’t always meant to be
Can’t force a fool to see our worth when it’s already obvious to see
I can tell you that you’re a Queen but inside, I know you must feel like a fool
Giving it all you got just to see the love you want conclude
You’re Too Beautiful to Cry, dry your eyes & never let a boy **** your spirit
Trying to fall in love with a fool who mainly wanted to get explicit
You’re Too Beautiful to Cry & one day, every heartbreak will reform its pieces
And that day you’ll experience true happiness & your True Love will burn those traumatizing bridges

Here we go again, you crying your eyes out historically
So caught on that old love’s drug that you refuse recovery
You know what’s waiting for you at the end but still proceed
Praying for a different outcome & the change that you believe
Your actions were see through, they didn’t see how much you were down
In the end, they just ended up making you out to be a fool
You fell deep in love yesterday & today you’re dying from a tragedy
Fighting for as long as you can while suffering from a mental brutality
This love’s gotta hold on you & you just can’t seem to break free
In love with someone who’s love is playing the perfect absentee
Suffering from a shot to the heart, their love had a hit out on you
Their love is no good for you but you can’t leave, their love won’t allow you to
How come you’re having a hard time leaving but they left so easily
Attached to a love that’s not loving you equally
Under that’s love curse but unable to be set free
Fell in love yesterday but today, you’re resting in peace

Poetic Venom

It's a bad idea for me to love you especially when your heart is missing

& when I peep the ocean, it's not even worth fishing

I'll love you forever but to me, forever isn't that long

I don't ever wanna be right if loving you is wrong

I feel it when you smile but it's a pain to see you cry

& as much as I desire that role, I know I'll never be that guy

Feelings were invested,
honesty highly requested

Loyalty was given,
mistakes were unforgiven

Affection was a bonus,
good deeds went unnoticed

Communication was nonexistent,
we became distantly inconsistent

Trust was never established,
a breakup beyond tragic

Don’t you give up, don’t you give in
Don’t you lose faith, you’re due for a win
No matter the struggle, no matter the fail
Continue to be Great & you shall prevail
The Beginning & End is all in his hands
the trouble along the way, you may not understand
Every day won’t be great, every day won’t be bad
pick yourself up, dust yourself off, & get in your bag
Don’t be overwhelmed by hurt, don’t be let down by pain
learn from your hardships & let it motivate your reign
Your star will shine, your struggle will progress, you will have your time
with God’s grace, you’ll reach the finish line

-Poetic Venom

Sometimes I break down when  I realize
That most of my life has left me traumatized
Never could accept the way I was created
Only wishing that one day, my presence starts fading

Sometimes I break down when I see
The person I’m supposed to be
But held back by fear & self doubt
I remain that forbidden soul lost within the cloud

Sometimes I break down from false happiness & lying
How I struggle from crying
Knowing that the pain is overwhelming but I carry the weight
Of being the one to hold it all together but at the end of the day
who’s gonna be the one to stop me from feeling this way

P e n c a s ******>

When you met me, I guess it was kinda like dreams becoming reality
Falling hard over my ways even tho we’re not near each other locality
You were used to those guys who played these games
Then met me on accident then everything suddenly changed
In my mind, I was afraid it wouldn’t get anywhere so I backed up
Started to focus more on me & trying to get my stacks up
Nevertheless, I was still giving you most of my attention
Spending hours on the phone like I wanted but still, something was missing
I began questioning myself like it wasn’t really me that you desired
Like I was missing a key element that your love truly required
We both been thru the worst so I hope you don’t blame me for my decision
Your heart tried talking to me but my ego wouldn’t let me listen
Trying not to be like the rest but didn’t wanna be fooled either
Tried pushing you away but you insisted on falling even deeper
I guess the saying is true, you’ll lose something before you appreciate it
I acted like someone I didn’t recognize & now I really hate it
I wanna right my wrongs but now, I know it’s too late
I may never have you again but I still care of whether your heart is safe
If there is a way to right my wrongs, fill me in
Deep down, you’re still a blessing that I’m once again trying to win
I’m a fool & stupid for letting you go then watching you leave
You tried showing me something different but I was in disbelief
Time will tell down the road if this becomes what it was supposed to be
But until that time arrives, I’m forced to sit back & watch you fly

Below is the link to my 2nd book, can't believe I just said that but I'll appreciate if all of you would read it. It's just some of my most personal writings. Even if you don't read it,  thanks even for considering it

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/166651348-coming-of-age-the-growth-from-a-boy-to-a-man

Tell me where things went left, we’re supposed to be happy
Tried fighting for it but it’s going downhill sadly
Although we may need to part ways, my heart won’t let you go
Still deep down, I feel like this love could possibly grow
We’ve had our ups & downs but still I fight to keep this love alive
Sometimes, it’s just best to sit back & let time decide
It’s never a right time to say goodbye but I might have to
I see all of those good times & it’s something I wanna go back to
I haven’t lost faith in this love but maybe I should let go for a minute
Maybe we’ll meet again down the road, I’m sure this love hasn’t reached it’s limit
I gotta make a decision soon cause if I don’t then we’ll eventually get detached
We were flying high but unexpectedly, everything crashed
I listened to my heart & it told me it was time to leave
The pain I’m feeling within, it just can’t be relieved
I don’t want you to think it’s someone else, I just need some space
For me to gather my thoughts & get my head back in the right place
Stressed out & unable to think straight, mentally I’m losing it
Requesting my heart back for a while, tired of people misusing it
No love lost between us, this is what’s best for us both
And we never know, maybe this time apart will later bring us close
I don’t wanna break from this love & I don’t wanna walk away from us
And it hurts me to depart cause deep down, I indescribably love us

-Poetic Venom

Fraud happiness, can no longer pretend
Alone in this world, no real friends
Living within a dream, can’t wake up
Giving in to life, no way for a shape up
Losing balance with thyself, no living purpose
Demolished by close ones, everlasting feeling worthless
See into your soul, how can one be this empty
Trying to move on but death is tempting
Rivers cried, pain overbearing
Existence died, life over whelming
Eyes open outside, soul’s dead asleep within
Unable to understand, most impossible to convince
Nothing without you, the lifeline for my heart beat
Lost for so long, awaiting the perfect eye to see

No inspiration for another entry but my talent itches to create
so I look in various places hoping to get back to my creative space
Whether it’s thru social media or from a line in a song
I listen to the words being spoken as my thought process follows along
A Poet’s Blues? That’s something you may never be able to relate to
Just the need of wanting to write but nothing exactly to inspire you
It’s like facing a roadblock but there’s no detours insight to get around it
you’re just traveling thru it & facing the horrified soundtrack around it
Could you easily find your inspiration when you’ve written over 400+ entries
wanting to keep writing but your drive & motivation feels empty
Not sure if you wanna write about your life, to a song, or just something
to keep your mind running even if the poem’s about nothing
My Poetry Blues, falls in place when I get the desire to write based on what I see
coming from the soundtrack of someone’s life but it relates to me
I just sit there in my living room with my pen falling asleep on the paper
wishing for an idea to come my way thru my mental creator
A Poet’s Blues? Imagine having your mind freeze & you’re just standing there
frozen in time & frustrated with nothing to say as you pull out your hair
When it’s all said & done, you’ll probably never understand the anger or a talent’s snooze
cause at the end of the day, no one really cares about a Poet’s Blues

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

You always look for beauty but  ignore the main view

You see this image every day but treat it as if it's see through

I’ve said it plenty of times but it has yet to click to you

Sure it has its fair share of scars & scratches but its beauty shines thru

& I’m trying to inspire that confidence to reveal that has yet to debut

Hidden within plain sight but only certain eyes knows it’s true

even if you disagreed, they keep trying to convince you

If you’re still confused or lost on where beauty exist while following along

then go back & read the 1st word of this poem
- Poetic Venom

I used to get high to get over you, drinking just to **** the pain
Crying my nights away, my tears became the rain
Smiling on the outside but falling apart on the inside
Laughing like I’m okay but the obvious I couldn’t hide
I hated the thought of you but always ran back to it
Holding on to what was no more making myself look stupid
How could one person make me feel this empty again?
Gave her everything in me & still it was a battle I couldn’t win
Wanted to fix things but you made it obvious that it was too late
Thoughts of you every day, heavy tears on display
Tearing myself apart & desperately trying to end my days
I needed you to show me something but didn’t
So I chose to drink to **** your memories & say good riddance
Haven’t been that depressed since 2009 & feared this deja vu
Felt so attached to someone whose love seemed so true
Wanted to be more than your King & more than your dream come true
More than a fantasy & more than someone who means the world to you
Taking away the love of my life caused me to lose control
Falling off track & allowing the poison to please my soul
So much hate towards you trying to destroy any memory of you
Just allowing the hell within to **** the very thought of you

Conversations with a young lady about how she was disappointed
How she kept falling in love but she felt her heart being avoided
She told me how she felt like she never be good enough to be admired
How she’ll never be the Queen that a man’s heart would desire
She started telling me how she felt like every guy was the same
Like every man alive were all built the same way, playing the same game
I began to ask her about her preference & what mainly attracts her
And her preference described how she kept rereading the same chapter
I proceeded to break it down how she was dating the same guy
With a different face & they were all designed to smash & say goodbye
Took me 15 minutes to illustrate how her taste in men was the issue
Your bad taste in guys is why every love does nothing but dismiss you
You’re digging thru the same garbage looking for a treasure that’ll never appear
And that results in all your setbacks that enhances your fear
I asked her if she ever thought about dating someone that’s not her type
Instead of falling for the same clown who’s love is unripe
You’re saying you’ll never be good be enough & that’s true
Can’t be good enough for someone who doesn’t deserve you
Same sermon, different preacher is what she replied back
Asking why everyone she knows was saying that
Told her to listen to the advice for once or she’ll always be broken
Soon after, her silence was very loudly spoken
Can’t be good enough for someone who isn’t your meant to be
Stay single, stop searching, & set your heart free

I Miss Me;
before the hell began & I was stress free
before I found out how sad life can be
before I really knew what pain truly felt like
before I found out love truly had a price

I Miss Me;
the old me that never had anything to worry about
when I was able to be me & didn’t have anything to be sorry about
when life was simple, when being a kid was full of excitement & imagination
before the times fast forward & getting older wasn’t my occupation

I Miss Me;
the old me that used to smile endlessly & cried less
when life was about feeling happy without the stress
the old me that was truly alone but not depressed
before life became a roller coaster & the walls my back wasn’t against
before life truly revealed itself, I became lost, & got addicted to the rain
looking for any way out to escape this great pain

As a man, I’ve never quite understood our logic
How we beg for a woman’s heart then dodge it
We go on these rants about how women play games
When we’re the ones causing the most damage & it’s a shame

Tell me. What’s the point of having a woman ride so hard for you
just to break her heart into pieces when she does so much to ride for you
You get mad them when they’ve realized the same old things being said
from the last man who broke her heart by playing games with her head

Women aren’t perfect but the love of a woman, could never be matched
The feeling that she gives you once she’s gotten attached
The little things that she’s does to prove you’re she needs
Just for you to take it, spit it in her face, then leave
So tell me why it’s easier to break her heart than to love her
If her heart’s always been true to you, what’s the benefit of hurting her

P e n c a s ******>

Is this the life you want?
Is this what you wanna settle for?
Are you happy? Are you sad?
Are you depressed? Are you mad?
You smile on the outside but are you smiling internally?
Are you willing to admit you’re not okay?
I know you’re sad but is it worth throwing your life away?
Will it bring you peace or just ease the pain?
When the sky sheds a tear, will your tears get washed in the rain

Decide if you wanna live or give up
be happy or let others control your emotions
If you wanna be better or stay the same
Cry every night or smile like it’s no tomorrow
******* to evil or cut at your sorrow
Happiness or Misery, the choice is up to you
but your decision won’t be just affecting you

Poetic Venom

yesterday, i cried from pain
yesterday, i wanted to quit
yesterday, i was broken
yesterday, i departed from sadness

today, i am free
today, i start over
today, i shall fly
today, i shall smile

tomorrow, i vow to be greater
tomorrow, i wish to be stronger
tomorrow, i strive for greatness
tomorrow, i learn from the mistakes of yesterday

Dear Ambitious Girl, your ambition drives me crazy
And I’m thinking to myself, how can one not want to pursue this lady?
My main interest in you is to not stay with you or lay with you
Just trying to know the woman on the inside, what makes you beautiful?
I see your desires & your drive, I wanna make love to it
Support your dreams & biggest goals in life, your confidence I’ll produce it
I’ve dated in many in the past who just accused me of trying to smash
Comparing me to the **** boys they’ve dated of how they’d hit it & dash
And I know plenty of women who only care for the materialistic things
Looking for the cash in my pocket & the joy of what the luxury life brings
I had many to question why I was pursuing so hard to look deep within
Not realizing why I was seeking the inner beauty that would interest me to be a friend
Excuse me for trying to know the woman within that makes you unique
But I could be the average man who mainly wants to get you under the sheets
Tell me when you’re busy so I won’t cause a disturbance
I see you working for your dreams & I want you to flourish
I know plenty will try to knock you down cause you’re in a different lane
Judging you for trying to be great & they’re all the same
I wanna fall in love with what you do & be right there to support you
Treat a Queen like who she is, take a bow right before you
You ask what inspires my interest, it’s the grind & your intelligence
Rare existing elegance & your mentality which possesses many outstanding elements
I’m interested in the person you are but I already love the queen you’re trying to be
The type of Queen who doesn’t need a man for anything but his time & honesty
I know you’d rather be great then to chase after some man
Or try to win a man over even though your values he won’t understand
Dear Ambitious Girl, I know you’re working for Perfection & I salute you
Keep grinding for greatness & when the time’s right, I’ll finally meet you
A Heart of Gold I have yet to possess while others do nothing but amuse you
And in the meantime, I hope this open letter completely moves you