In adversity & hardships
the test of strength becomes greater
When happiness is the destination
terror becomes the focus in the process
Vision remains clear thru dark clouds
the path remains intact despite the carnage
Still I fly thru turbulence
& come out stronger than before

Is this the life you want?
Is this what you wanna settle for?
Are you happy? Are you sad?
Are you depressed? Are you mad?
You smile on the outside but are you smiling internally?
Are you willing to admit you’re not okay?
I know you’re sad but is it worth throwing your life away?
Will it bring you peace or just ease the pain?
When the sky sheds a tear, will your tears get washed in the rain

Decide if you wanna live or give up
be happy or let others control your emotions
If you wanna be better or stay the same
Cry every night or smile like it’s no tomorrow
******* to evil or cut at your sorrow
Happiness or Misery, the choice is up to you
but your decision won’t be just affecting you

Poetic Venom

Eyes in the back of my head, high alerted of my surroundings
Can’t escape my enemy, I feel terribly surrounded
Too many near death experiences & looking at those with a personal vendetta
Thinking that taking me out is the way of making their lives better
If I Die Tonight then let me go, I’ve lived to the best of my ability
Tried to change the world in every possible
Even when most don’t see the good within me
Maybe they’ll have a better chance than I did, suicide failed numerously
Can’t have anyone getting close to me, fearing them all using me
The hell is never far away but always lurking for a chance to strike
Needing any reason to take you away especially when you don’t pay the price
If I Die Tonight then let my spirit move on the next phase
Bury me next to my legacy & turn the next page
If this is my final stand, just know I stood for something
Representing those without a voice & those trying to come up from nothing
I’m no saint in any way but I used my God given gift the best way I knew how
Slowly rising above all expectations & feeling the jealousy growing heavy now
Paranoia’s gotten the best of me & I don’t want anyone next to me
Just so they can plot on taking me out after getting the best of me
The war is far from over, my soul just can’t be killed
Broke me down once & I’m slowly trying to rebuild
So If I Die Tonight, don’t cry just let me fly away
The Good never exist forever but that the price you pay

Man in the mirror, what can I say?
You knew it would come to this day
Feeling like a ***** up for the things you did
Out here wildin’ but somehow, still without a kid
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Trying to replace someone in all the wrong faces
You had the best thing you could ask for & blew it
How could you be so selfish & stupid
Too busy feeding your ego as well as your pride
Convincing these women you love em when it’s all lies
Funny how you despise your father but became just like him
Willing to lust over any woman that seemed to like him
You let a woman gas you up when she’s blushing from you flirting
The right one came & left but let’s be honest, you deserved it
That’s what you get when you listen to your head & not your heart
Trying to win bragging rights instead of playing the right card
But I get it tho, you ain’t used to that lust attention
Making women feel good like you’re what they’re missing
You truly went from being a King to a ******
from the perfect lover to just another man *****
You're supposed to be her Peace but her became like her past
Messing her head up just to *** her crazy then put her last
Amazing how you hurt the one woman who wasn’t full of games
then continue with your miserable life like you have no shame
The amazing Mr f up & your pride won’t let you take the blame
just giving her another reason to believe y’all are all the same
- Poetic Venom

Tell me why I sense so much sadness & not enough joy?
Seems like your self confidence went down since your heart's been destroyed.
When's the last time you've smiled or appreciated what God created?
What's that one thing about yourself that you look in the mirror & immediately just hate it?
Tell me what's the missing ingredient that seems to be lost.
I know you probably think things will never get better cause you always seem to take a lost.
Lady in the Mirror, you gotta gift & your presence is special.
Your flaws don't define you & your imperfections are just a distraction from the disguise.
You can tell a lot about yourself just by looking into your own disguise.
Don't be afraid to smile or be happy, it's been a long time coming.
Accept the gift that God's been working on, he's definitely up to something.
Many may not appreciate it but to a few, it means the world & more.
Lift your head up & be strong, your true value is never ignored.
I want you to smile, you deserve to after shedding so many tears.
Even if you don't hear it very often, I hope it means the world to you.
My goal is to make you smile in a huge way maybe because you deserve to.
Your insecurities may not allow you to see it but thru it all, you're uniquely beautiful.
So smile simply, you don't know who it inspires or how much it means to someone that thinks highly of you.
Someone that sees your happiness as a blessing

i am king

i am poetry

i am love

i am dreams

i am sadness

i am happiness

i am all these things,
what i'm not i'll never be

U N I T Y

When I turn on my TV, I only see one thing
Marches & rants from people as they let their voices sang
A world growing separately & divided by what’s right & wrong
A nation no longer united & a home where some feel others don’t belong
They want to make America Great Again but how can they achieve it?
Some think this country is theirs & they actually believe it
Feel like the world’s coming to an end & we’re at war with ourselves
A president full of himself, having a fit with the plans he’s trying to excel
Are we the United States of America or the Divided States, I’m confused
I’m seeing whites going on rants & cops pursuing the laws that they abuse
How is it Justice for All if cops aren’t punished for their wrong doing?
Worried about “*******” but not terrorism shootings
If we’re United as One, why do some of us hold on the past?
Trying to create a better future but too busy reliving the past
World’s falling apart within society due to racial tension
Debates about the protests’ but most fail to realize the meaning
Refer to the Black Lives Matter movement as “terrorist” or “thugs”
When all they see is groups of people of different races seeking justice
If practicing our rights as Americans is wrong, show us what’s right
I guess it’s only acceptable if your skin is indeed white
Taking offense to Colin Kaepernick all for taking a knee
Just because he’s voicing his right in the Land of the Free
All I wanna see is Unity for All, regardless of the race
A country with love for each other, not a country divided by hate
Unity for All, skin color shouldn’t matter
I wanna see a Nation growing stronger instead a Nation dying faster

From the second I saw her, I knew things were about to get brighter
from the way you felt in my arms
to the fireworks within your eyes
to the way we talked for hours
it wasn’t long before I realized
you’d be the key to helping me fly

That one minute we spent with a kiss;
I heard my heart shed it’s 1st happy tear
joyful that you wouldn’t bring it any fear
caught in a daze as if we were both dreaming
falling for the melodies that our hearts were singing

An Aquarius Kiss;
you made me look at myself in a way like never before
made me feel these emotions to which I’ve never felt before
opened my eyes to make me realize just how charming I am
although from the 1st introduction, I was worried about a scam
but here we are still hanging on by a thread as i pray we grow stronger
because I’m afraid to lose you to someone else & what we have is no longer
present but I’m working to ensure this last for a while

-Poetic Venom

I try so hard to be the man that I was raised to be
But it’s the efforts that go unnoticed & it amazes me
I used to question myself like I was the one who wasn’t doing right
Trying to please the one I love but all she wants to do is fight
If I’m loyal to you, why feel jealous of those around me?
Why feel some type of way of the females that surrounds me?
It’s clear what my intentions yet you ignore the obvious
But if I walk away then you’ll feel just like the previous
You can’t be so used to a fraud that you can’t appreciate the real
Then get mad at me once I begin to tell you how I feel
My back against the wall, I’m frustrated, & can’t even think straight
Stressed out & you’re just adding more unwanted stress on my plate
Giving you everything any female would want but how much more can I give?
And being that I don’t wanna leave, I move on & forgive
I can’t win for losing, can’t move forward without being bumped back
Either the ending is near or we’ll get better, I refuse to go back
What would you do if I decide to walk away & find better?
How would you react if you saw another female treating me better?
I can’t be your Dream Come True if you’re too treating me like your past lovers
Feeling like I’m about to lose it & the only person I can talk to is my brother
I’m trying to move up but you bring me back down like gravity
This so called thing we have is slowly becoming another tragedy
If you wanna love me then let it beautiful, not another regret
You should be making me smile every chance you get, not making me upset
Where are we headed? What lies at the end of this destination?
Is it gonna be sunshine & dandelions or will it lead to our separation?

You Say You Love Her but you never take the time out to show her off
You maybe willing to give her love but at what cost?
You Say You Love Her but you still mess with other women for pleasure
Lying saying you single thinking you can find something better
You Say You Love Her but you make her feel so alone
Always calling her out for mistakes but you can’t do no wrong
You Say You Love Her but she feels insecure all the time
Making her feel like she’s worthless & always keep her crying
You Say You Love Her but you spend more time with your homies
She says she’s fine but in reality, she’s tired of feeling so lonely
You Say You Love Her but you only think of her whenever you want to feel her
She tries so hard to make you happy but you do nothing but **** her
You Say You Love Her but treat her ugly & hate any man who tries to cheer her up
She knows you’re no good for her but she still doesn’t wanna give up
You Say You Love Her but you hide things from her that makes her suspect you’re cheating
She still sees the good in you even though your love is wrong & deceiving
You Say You Love Her but you do nothing to keep her & refuse to let her leave
You’re the one doing wrong & you’re the only one that she’s desperately trying to please
You Say You Love Her but these one night stands & side hoes get your main attention
And you still fail to realize the blessing right in front of you & see what you’re missing

in silence where we reside

smiling with pain inside

guilty for following intuition

our blessing as well as our downfall

the cons of having a huge heart

Here I am once again, drinking my life away to this bottle
Lost in my feelings & writing my feelings in this novel
Thinking about the times we once shared & how I miss em
Thinking about those sweet lips & how I used to kiss em
I see you dating someone else now, I’m happy to see you smile
But I can’t ignore that you haven’t truly been happy in a while
I know you gotta miss those days, I see you creeping on my timeline
So busy with your new love, I don’t see how you manage to find time
Catch you sliding in my inbox every blue moon
Saying you’re in love with him but I guess it came way too soon
Can’t even focus on myself when I’m thinking about you
Getting bored being lonely & telling chicks to slide thru
I’m just smashing outta anger & sadly seeking vengeance
Dealing with a broken heart, how did I get in this?
Still in love with someone that chose to walk away
And I’m thinking she’ll return so every day I pray
What the hell went wrong with us? I can’t find the answer
Making love was music to my ears & you were my ***** dancer
Seeing you with that man & I know he can never be me
Trying to replace a one in a million, not to be cocky
And that last statement is true cause you prove all the time
Lowkey begging to rekindle our love when you forced it to resign
Yea I miss those days too but deep down, I question if it’s worth it
I don’t have to ask about your feelings, your actions always show it
Thinking if I’d still give you my heart even after you’ve burned it
Heart’s still crying out for you, I hope you heard it

"Happy Birthday"

the 2 words I never Heard

from the man that gave me Life

but Look me in the eye & say Goodbye

As i sit here next to the sound of peace
i drink away my sorrows as my heart speaks
I don’t know what’s gotten into me
but I’ve been feeling like the enemy
A stranger to a best friend & home isn’t home to me
Losing sleep & can barely eat
Contemplating on the blade use or for God’s blood to rain down on me
I’m getting calls & messages from people concerned
Even the main one who decided to kick your baby boy to the curb
I’ve been lost for a while now, heads up in the cloud now
Getting drunker by the minute, the end won’t be long now
I lay down by this tree as i daze up into the sky
Counting the stars above only wishing i could fly
Tears running down my eyes & my thoughts run a marathon
Heart’s tired of screaming for help just for no one to respond
I walked away from home without saying a word of my whereabouts
It’s 9:30 at night but i haven’t come back, I’ve risen some questionable doubts
Don’t know if I’m ok or unresponsive, the anxiousness begins to rise
As questions begin to play out as the suspense fails to die
Not sure if i wanna go back home or stay lost in the woods
Go back to a mental prison where i feel lost & misunderstood
Can’t explain what’s running thru my mind but in the end, does it matter
Cause the more my feelings are ignored, the more my soul dies faster

How dare you come into my life & make me care about you then leave

How dare you make me feel this way about you with the lies i believe

I was enjoying the sunshine & dandelions before this hurricane came thru

And killed me slowly but i couldn’t see that the storm was just you

Who the hell are you to rip my heart outta me & crush it

Who the hell are you to make me think your love was something to be trusted

I’m already dying inside but here you come making my world darker

And i became closer to you just for you to **** me even harder

How dare you make me a priority right before you drop me like a bad habit

How dare you play the sweetheart when you’re just another phony savage

- Poetic Venom

Message to those that knew me before the ending
Back when you claimed me as a friend but all things have an ending
I want you to think about all the times you took me for granted
Before you turned on me & soon after I was abandoned
Now that I’m gone, I don’t want the guilt to eat you alive
Instead, think about the pain you caused & how I survived
Dead & gone, don’t you cry
I’m in the sky, say good bye
You made the choice, no regrets
I’m gone now, don’t pay respects
Did me wrong, I didn’t deserve it
I made mistakes, I’m not perfect
Accept your actions, it was on purpose
Thank you for making me feel worthless

be the rhythm in my blues
whenever I want to feel loved

be the beat in my flow
whenever I want to move

be the star in my night
whenever my darkness needs light

be the umbrella
whenever my tears feel like rain

be the dream
whenever I lay my soul to sleep

be my everything
a King is lost without a Queen

I was having a bad day, thinking about my past & future
Thinking about my talent not taking me anywhere, still end up being a loser
I came home from work, took a shower, then started listening to music
I grabbed a bottle of ***** with a hand full of pills contemplating something stupid
Only thing on my mind at the time was either going missing or dying
And the one person I reached out to for advice wasn’t replying
Few hours roll by but I still haven’t made a decision
Just waiting for the depression & anger to make a collision
Almost to the bottle of the bottle with 5 pills in my system
Listening to the voices in my head & their evil filled wisdom
I get up from my bed, walked to the bathroom, & stared into the mirror
Seeing the hell on both shoulders, the message is becoming clearer
Pills aren’t doing any justice, I’m just turning into a zombie
Washing my sorrows down my throat with this dark cloud above me
It’s now 3am & I’m on the floor with a butcher’s knife in my hand
Holding it next to my neck feeling like the world will never understand
How I can feel so alone sometimes or feel unappreciated
Trying to do right but all I’ve ever felt was hatred
I placed the knife on my wrist then began to cut just a bit
Still following the voices in my head telling me I’ll never be ****
Move the knife slowly right before they tell me don’t quit
Oops there it goes, a little bit of blood dripping from my wrist
If that was so easy, let me aim at my throat again
“Do it Dre, this world is better off without you. Face it, you won’t win.”
Supplying pressure but still no movement to cut
All the motivation to die when I look at myself feeling such disgust
Right before I proceed to slash myself, I then receive a message
Showing me the love I’ve been ignoring & how I’m a blessing
I wipe the tears from my eyes, stand up, & realize how selfish I became
Trying to **** myself over a group of people who don’t even care to know my name
“Dre, you’re an amazing gift to those without a voice”
“If you leave, who else is gonna be the perfect versatile voice”
“You gotta chance here to do something bigger than your wildest dreams”
“So I encourage you to stand up, dust yourself off, & chase your dreams”
I look at myself in the mirror once more, told the Devil he can’t have me
Proceeded to the toilet & threw up all the pills used trying to drag me
“I’ll no longer give the enemy any power over me, I will have self control”
“I will be Great at what I do by any means. I shall not end this road”
Drop my knees & told God that I’m eternally grateful
And no more shall I continue to please the ungrateful
Thank you for turning me around from the wrong direction I was headed
And thank you for always keeping my soul protected

The mind of a poet is an interesting place
where emotions & words run wild
Some words tell a story, some emotions sing a melody
the inspiration shares the glory & often used as the source of therapeutic remedy

If you travel thru a poetic mind long enough, you’ll begin to see
a new universe that the normal eye won’t see

You can easily get attached but it’s hard to walk away
from a world full of imagination & creativity

Words aren’t just words anymore, it’s a written emotion
from a heart experience various feelings but remains unspoken

The mind of a poet, that’s a world like no other
either a beautiful disaster or the soundtrack of many untold stories

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

I've had hills to climb & tears to cry
I've endured scars but I don't ask why
I've barely seen the sun & have danced with the rain
I've soared thru the storms of my sorrowed skies
I've been the subject of rage, from bruises & sore bones
to ****** wounds to living my own nightmare exposed

I've been attached to a source to numbs the pain
falling for a temporarily killing but still hurting the same
I've looked death in its eyes just to realize
that I was looking at myself thru my own tearful eyes
More setbacks than numbers can count & more trails than a convicted killer
Been lost more than I could be found, still looking for the forgiveness of a sinner

Through it all, I keep my head held high
still haven't managed to fly but I still try
God's Plan is never known or understood but in due time, it's explained
so no matter the storm & no matter how hard the journey becomes, I Won't Complain
- Poetic Venom

It’s funny to me how people wanna tell me how to deal with my depression
knowing that if they were on the same side of the fence, they’d fear my depression
They believe it’s all in the mind & in a way it is
but when you think about it, it’s more of how life really is
They claim to understand your battle when we’re in 2 different wars
trying to tell you how to heal yourself when they don’t relate to your scars
You can’t tell me how to save myself when the same thing isn’t killing you
can’t tell me your methods work for me because your remedy is only healing you
We all have our demons  & devils on different levels
some only have a few, some may have several
Put yourself in my shoes & I’ll see if you can survive that dark world to which I reside
would you give up too quick or **** yourself knowing you tried
You can see what I’m going thru but could you really handle it
you feel my rage within my soul, but could you bare to manage it
Now let’s switch back sides & tell me again how to win my fight
How to keep from tearing myself apart to understand this thing called life
From the outside looking in, you’d probably think it’s a walk in the park
but when you put on my shoes, I guarantee you wouldn’t know where to start
☆ Poetic Venom ☆

Crazy how your dream come true can soon become a nightmare
looking for the heart where home is but no one is there
existing within a blank space, falling hopelessly
waiting for it to end & maybe it’ll set you free
Who knew love would hurt so bad or turn you into a rebel
not wanting to feel it anymore

After the heartbreak, the rain no longer sounds the same
it’s just the sky crying for you & cleansing you from the pain
Unable to express how you feel so music becomes your soundtrack
& the emptiness within makes you want the memories back
Heartbreak of a full moon, feeling lost with nowhere to go or an exit to seek peace
just dead black roses that resemble a torn love by your feet   - King Pencasso

i didn't ask to be this way

i didn't ask to feel this way

i didn't ask to rage out this way

but the pain & frustration made me this way

the target of several jokes, the fuel to my insecurities

the hell within the rage & the birth of many personalities

putting me at war with myself to fight the demon within

but i embraced the dark side till it became my only friend

i'm not me anymore, that part of me died long ago

i feel like a monster, that little kid doesn't exist no more

I used to envy these guys, I wanted to be these guys
They got all the attention from the girls & they loved these guys
I wanted to walk like these guys & talk like these guys
And although they ain’t worth it, women fell hard for these guys
They carried the swagger, the presence, & the confidence that I wish I had
But always lacked but to see how women would chase em made me mad
What’s so special about these guys that’s making em irresistible?
When they don’t have any feelings & be flipping more than reciprocals
For all this time, I’ve been looking for what I was missing
Only to realize the big picture that never gained my attention
I was that guy on the sideline watching all these good girls fall short
Then trying to make em smile again but provide comfort support
I never was the average hood guy that they all seemed to adore
Just another joke to their eyes that their egos chose to ignore
What’s the benefits of being like one of these guys?
Breaking hearts & being a **** boy like these other guys
I’ve always wondered if it was worth the risk
To have random broads playing with my joystick
Wasting their time for my own pleasure & amusement
They know I won’t change but they still anticipate an improvement
Mess their heads up to have them think that we’re actually gonna be together
When in reality, I’m just occupying my time until I make her thighs wetter
It seems like that’s the new trend that’s attracting all the women
Fall in love with a fool whose only interest is to go swimming
Yet I still envy these guys cause I wanna be like these guys
Not for the ***, but to get the love that women give these guys

I wish I knew what being perfect felt like
the ability to grab eyes when I walk in the room
I wish I was never forced to be the villain
I wish my present wasn’t so affected by my pasts’ opinions
I wish my dad actually cared enough to come around more
I wish my feelings weren’t so ignored

I wish the family I knew was the family that still exists
maybe I wouldn’t feel so alienated
I wish i still had the heart to repair what’s already gone
& return back to the home that my heart belongs
I wish i didn’t fear love so much & embraced it more
I wish I could give my life so my loved ones could live more

in the dark, i fight my biggest battle

not the sadness or need of sleeping pills

but the monster that resides within

in the mirror or in my head controlling the rage

willing to cause havoc, seeing only red

with pain being its only motivation

violence in the aftermath, no words said

Every I try walking away from what we have, your voice pulls me in closer
& I can never tell you how I feel without staying sober
Keep telling myself that I’m no good for you but I’m hopeless when my feelings take over
causing me to always lose my composure

I can’t have you, you can’t have me yet I’ve fallen in love with you
just by the ways you’re always there for me & make me feel like I’m right next to you
I know you hate it when I let someone else in my life to love me when you’re here
but you’re not here so I attempt self harm to avoid those tears

You’re like my Guardian Angel that came outta nowhere to love me dearly
but I don’t deserve your love & I mean this sincerely
Your voice sends chills thru me, your love makes me feel like I’m lost within the mind
that makes me never want to wake up to live within the times
I don’t want you to save me cause I’ll eventually break you down with your every attempt
which mainly proves that it’s my heart that you’re trying to protect
So when my butterflies cry, it’s just the feeling in my stomach that make me love you
more than I did the last time we spoke & my last dying wish is see you one last time to hold you

Poetic Venom

She told me it was my fault that we aren’t friends anymore
it’s my fault that I can’t hear her voice anymore
I would’ve been happy with life if I didn’t fall too quickly
it’s my fault that she walked away & not wit me anymore
I should’ve never fell for her but what do you expect
when you’re the 1st to love someone who’s used to neglect

Would’ve been the best friendship I could’ve asked for
but she wanted to be just friends & my heart wanted more
She wanted only phone conversations, I wanted to be held
just an idiot with feelings for the wrong person it’s my fault that we couldn’t excel
Guess this is what happens when you know the right choice but make a wrong
& that leads you to writing not a happy but a sad poem

You let me fall when I wanted to fall back into your arms
& allowed me drown in my sorrow
It’s my fault for living in the midst of these cold scars
left me to exist with a cold broken heart that’s forever hollow

☆ Poetic Venom ☆

i love you, i miss you

kisses of sweetness

hugs of a lifetime quality

i was in love with you

but there comes a time

when one must realize

that you're no good for me

You got begging me to be in your life;
taking extra steps just to prove a point but I ask why
am I trying so hard to prove that I’m not just some guy
that she’s met before & I can understand she’s afraid
but maybe she’ll never understand the cloth of from which I was cut
from & you can’t make someone see that you’re in it for the lust.
But I wanna ask her one question but I don’t think that even she
can explain why I’m begging for something that she’ll give a clown for free.
At first she responded with the quickness but now of all sudden
she’s afraid of me & I’m kind of confused on why she’s running
away from me when I’ve never even tried to change my ways
instead I insisted on being the light of her day & the smile from when she wakes
So I’m begging for something when she’ll give it another freely
she sees every effort being put in but yet she still can’t see me
& the second I quit trying, I guess I’ll become just all the rest
when in reality, she ignored a blessing that meant the best
Beg for Your Love? Sorry sweetheart but begging is something I’m not into
either give me the chance to love you or go your separate way
cause I’ll never beg for something that a clown can easily have the same way

If this becomes my last entry
I pray the parted will finally hear me
My only objective was to give those like me
A way of life without feeling furthermore lonely
I write all these poems as a passage of emotions
Speaking for the unspoken emotions
Which have led me to the feeling of being alone or a burden
but I continue to write feeling determined
to provide a better chance for survival
to those who’ve considered me their idol
Let my purpose for change be the spark for bravery
that inspires the rest to be stronger after they’ve conquered the recovery
For the Forsaken Message maybe ignored now, one day you shall see
the impact of my vision that helps set my Lost Souls free

☆  P e n c a s s o ☆

I write this outta pure honesty
cause many of you may not notice me
I’m not that guy with his smile shining bright
I’m that guy who constantly fights for his life
Contemplate suicide on a daily basis
surrounded by saved demons & disguised racists
with family who’re more like enemies & friends who’re 2 faced
these pills became a friend of me but this liquor has a feeling I love chasing
I used to be afraid to show the real me cause people think it’s for attention
like I want everyone knowing that I’m dying mentally or spiritually something’s missing
I can’t be one of these cool kids, fronting like I’m a savage
when everyday I wake up & living life is hard to manage
So I write these poems to hopefully reach someone else
dancing with suicidal plots & never had anyone else
to love them the way they’ve always wanted to
so if you feel my pain thru my words then I write these for you
I’m not the same kid I used to be, things change drastically
went from a happy kid to a young man mixed with a tragedy
I can’t front who I am just to get likes or shares
& ignore the fact that I’m beyond scared
Scared that one day I’m gonna have enough & take my life away
looking at myself in the mirror as I watch my soul walk away
Living in this cold *** world full of envy & judgment
& too paranoid to enjoy life when death pulls up in the midst of the enjoyment
But still I thank God for every day that I breathe
Another day stronger & amazed that he hasn’t ask me to leave
I shed tears in the dark just so I can cry in peace
cause your tears remain unheard until the day you decease
I’m not the same kid I used to be, I’ve changed tremendously
alive from the physical form but beyond deceased mentally
I can’t apologize for not letting you see the real me
especially if it results in you trying to heal me
If you do anything for me then pray for me
for my battle isn’t over & Satan can’t take my strength away from me
And as I drown within my own tears, allow my sorrow to be released
& don’t you let go until my happiness has finally reached its peak
It’s not my time to reach the other side that Phase 2 has to offer
I’m still looking for ways to survive life’s horror
I’m not the same guy I used to be, I just exist in disguise
but maybe one day, the real me will spark the tears from Heaven's Skies

Poetic Venom

I’ve met many women who’ve said most men should be like me
but if they knew about my mistakes, would you think they’d still think highly of me?
I’m not perfect by any means, I’ve had my fair share of mistakes along the way
falling short of being King worthy just to see if the phony acts would make a way
I was under the impression that being a man with a boy’s mentality
was the best way to go but I was only thinking selflessly
I know the man I was raised to be & the charm that God genetically blessed me with
& when you erase all the good from the bad, you’d realize that I still ain’t ****
I often feel the need to settle down but still manage to fall into the hands of temptation
wanting to wait for Mrs.Right though I’m not a person who’s very patient
My heart’s bigger than my body & I’ve fallen for some of the worst types
so to keep from being lonely, I talked em all into laying down with me for just one night
I know it ***** to see someone who has his head right above his shoulders
stoop so low to such a despising level just so he can mess any girl over
So before you think of me as the Prince Charming, just know that I’m a man of great mistakes
who’s learned from all the wrong choices but building to get his life straight
I was blind to the guy that other women saw in me & now I see
that I have something worth falling head over heels for, I’m a King indeed
Take a look into the structure within my castle walls before you begin to adore me
cause I promise you, I’m not a man with any less mistakes than the ones who lack your glory
☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

For the 1st time in my life, I'm exciting to announce that I'm officially a published author. I've been working on this book for the past 6yrs & it's finally available for purchase for those who're interested in knowing my story. I appreciate any support that I get & it means the world to me if it inspires someone out there who's going through the same situations as me. Happy to share my story with you all & I hope you enjoy it. Thanks in Advance

- King Pencasso

https://www.authorhouse.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/844426-from-darkness-to-light

She blamed herself for loving you so much, but she couldn’t help it
Here she is fighting for what she loved while you made your way to the exit
Day in & day out you saying you loved her but never showed her
Just using her for the time being & chasing some peasant below her
She searched for the answers in her head but none appeared valid
Forced to play the deck of cards that she was handed
Maybe she loved you too much or maybe she didn’t love you enough
You had everything you ever dreamed of but you gave it all up
How can you possibly love her but trying to get attached to someone else
I bet she doesn’t even know that your heart is attached to someone else
She could be petty & message her everything that was said to her
How you wanted her love but would soon look right thru her
All those days you spent preaching about how you were different
And she took the blame for your fallout although she was innocent
Reading messages on her phone of how much you wanted it to last
Only to end up reminding her of a heart breaking past
You’re one hell of an actor, pretending to love her for all this time
Was probably mapping out since Day 1 how to carry out the perfect crime
Gassed her up to trust you just for you to strike at the perfect moment
Draw her attention to something else & lose her real focus
You said you loved her but still left her, she thanks you for the betrayal
Another shot to her already wounded heart but this time, it’s severely fatal
She's lost my faith in love & it’s all because of you, greatly appreciate it
The damage you caused to her heart was beyond excruciating

Poetic Venom

There’s beauty in poetry if used the right way
it creates many emotions that you never existed
Picture it as an artist painting a canvas
only a paper is the canvas & words are the paintbrush
the ability to use words to collide imaginations with reality
it’s music without a beat or a rhythm
Give a poet an idea, a paper, & a pen then watch them create
That’s the Beauty in Poetry
- Poetic Venom

When I’m Alone;
I shed tears because of the pain within
feeling lost without hope or a friend
thru all the adversity, trails, & tribulations
I fight as much as possible although I’m out of patience
but I refuse to break down or shed tears
cause I don’t want the sympathy or pity of my peers

When I’m Alone;
I feel the inside of me dying every day
so when the sun says good night, I drop down & pray
hoping that when tomorrow comes, I’ll be stronger
than I was the day before & I can fight a little longer
with a frozen heart, numb feelings, & deceased interest
I tend to keep many from knowing the real me so I become distant

I’m Alone;
even with a few people standing behind me
I fight this war by myself, not letting the defeats define me
Alone but not Lonely, with many who relate but don’t know me
whether it’s a friend, a female companion, or one of my homies
I shed tears in the dark but I smile when the light hits me
to hide what I’m feeling within knowing that internally, the pain & hurt is defeating me

- Poetic Venom

Every time I give “us” a chance, you make me walk away
I can’t trust someone who’s never there to make my day
All we do is fuss but yet I refuse to quit on you
Still I care & have yet to give up on you
Are we best friends or strangers with stale feelings?
Got me listening to sad songs & staring up at the ceiling
You said you’d always be there for me but you’re always missing
I constantly question your reasons & I kept entertaining the excuses given
Guess falling outta love was meant for us, who knew?
Should’ve known it was end now I gotta deal with losing you
Gave you more chances than you deserved, my mistake
Still you took me for granted & I drowned in self hate
Asking myself what I did to deserve what you gave me
Gave you everything but your love was incomplete & lazy
We both broke my heart, but I did the most trying to love you
Cause I saw myself clearly from your point of view
What’s meant to be is meant to be & you wasn’t meant for me
Now I see the picture clear, you were never there for me
Fell outta love with a dream but I guess this our destiny

Tomorrow Might Be Too Late for you to say that I mean the world to you
Spent almost all of my days being completely see though
Tomorrow Might Be Too Late to tell me how much you love me
But it feels like all you ever do is ignore me
Tomorrow Might Be Too Late to tell me that you care about me
Constantly making me feel like you’re better off without me
Tomorrow Might Be Too Late to start confessing your true feelings
Don’t waste time trying to give my spirit its proper healing
Tomorrow Might Be Too Late & I’ll be gone outta your life for good
Feelings were well painted but I remain highly misunderstood

I admire you for having a huge heart, it takes a lot of courage
I just wonder how you’re able to bounce back without being discouraged
Been cheating on countless times & it never seems to get better
Just attached to another fool who swears he’s gonna treat you better
Lied to more times than you can count, looking like a fool in the end
Still holding on although loving you is not what they intend
Gotten attached but still managed to be left aside for someone else
Tried giving your heart but it always seems to fail
Riding the wave of being in love only to be dropped without explanations
You wanting to make things work but there’s a lack of communication
Here you are now, still trying to love as if none of that ever occurred
Still trying to fall in love even if the same type of love isn’t being returned
I know you ask yourself if it’s something that you maybe missing
Crying your long nights away being sleepless & reminiscing
Do you not fear the same thing happening once more?
Feeling a little empty & sometimes wishing you could’ve done more?
I know it must take a lot for someone to love again & fear being hurt
Be treated for less than what they truly deserve
Don’t you fear those tears falling again or a repeat of your heart breaking?
To make someone your one & only but your heart ends up being forsaking?
Still trying to love as if that heart break wasn’t devastating
Never wanting to be alone & eager to love although your heart’s still rehabilitating
For you to still wanna be someone’s all, just know that I salute you
And I strongly apologize for all those whose love didn’t nothing but abuse you

Poetic Venom

What started as a hobby 16 years would soon become my passion
The art of telling stories or expressing myself in ways I couldn’t imagine
I went from reading my moms poems to copying poems from english books
to rewriting those poems in my own words to writing raps doing what I saw on TV
but somewhere down the road, I never thought I’d fall in love with this thing we call poetry
I could’ve turned out to be another statistic by hanging out in the streets
instead I stayed in the house watching TV & listening to beats
I had many things running thru my mind but it was nothing I could tell anyone about
even if it was something interesting about me that they could learn about
Fast forward to my senior year of high school when I recited my 1st poem in front of my class
explaining the anger I kept built up for so long & I watched their eyes grasp my wrath
All i could remember was blacking out to let my emotions steer the ride of my heart
as the passion & pain would tear me apart
That one moment of truth made me realize that maybe this dream of mine isn’t a dream
but a way to connect to the intellect & strangely enough boost my self esteem
16 years of perfecting my craft, 16 years of keeping my passion alive
16 years of becoming what I am today & 16 years of that I’ve been able to survive
I’d tell you that you’re crazy if you told me that my poems would save a life
when it’s just me telling the struggles & battles that I’ve faced in my life
I became someone that some consider a hero & developed a fan base that love my pain
& for them, seeing someone brave enough to tell their story is the sunshine of our dark rain

There you are again, sitting by the window crying with the rain
Gave your everything once again & feeling that never ending pain
Doubting yourself & feeling like you’re not good enough
Although you gave your all & it didn’t seem to be good enough
Heart shattered again singing that same melody
Wanting to try harder but love doesn’t have the perfect remedy
Can’t win for losing so you question what it is that you’re doing wrong
Every time you bounce back, your heart gets placed back to where it doesn’t belong
It’s those same rehearsed tears that’s had one too many encores
And a severely wounded heart that continues to get knocked off its course
Eager to give up, say “**** it” once & for all
And I for one am tired of seeing you stand up but constantly taking a fall
Hearing your tears loud & clear but it’s heartbreaking to listen to
I just hope you don’t give up, I know True Happiness is missing you
It’s not that you’re not good enough, just haven’t met the one who deserves you
Just running into the same disguised jokes that continues to curve you
It’s like seeing the perfect image being tarnished by every presence it meets
Being used just for the moment & placed back after it’s defeat
Love’s a game of chess but it seems like no one is protecting this Queen
False advertising a world that only exist in her dreams

What you know about sleepless nights cause you brains have dispersed?
Getting back time & interest that will never be reimbursed
Keep running into roadblocks everywhere I turn
Having interest in these women but never getting the same love in return
What’s the use of trying to find something different when it doesn’t exist?
When every female you meet, there’s no loyalty that consist
She believes she’s special when she ends up in my bed
Feeling on top of the world due to something that I said
Are you still gonna ride even when things get tough?
Are you really about that life? Is your love the one I can trust?
Trying to be a better man but I’m battling bad habits
Hard to be faithful when the loyalty is absent
Back & forth with my emotions, some days I don’t care if you’re mine
The sad reality is that I’m loving you blind
Dealing with a heart that’s mentally unstable
Not ready to love you & I know you feel the betrayal
Who can love you better than me? I won’t lie
Let the gun go baby, I don’t wanna see this love die
Here we go again. Why can’t you let it go? I don’t wanna fight anymore
Why can’t you let it go? Just want this love to be restored

If you got it all back, what would you do?
If you have the best love you’ve ever wanted, how could you lose?
If my love was your treasure, would you keep it locked away?
If you knew all of my secrets, would it scare your love away?
You loved me but you never were a fool for me
just another broken heart loving me childishly
Sometimes  I don’t believe you miss me, probably just miss using me
I fell deep in love with someone whose love was abusing me
We never made love to each other’s mind, too busy making love instead
Never understood my intellect but more focused on getting in bed
I don’t know if we’re really meant to be but you can’t stay away from me
it’s like you know you have undeniable access to my heart without the key
I know you want those good times & memories back, can’t lie I do too
but it’s the worry of whether or not if I can still trust you
I can’t make you choose between him or me but you know who never hurt you
Who never broke your heart & who’d never desert you
My heart began turning red so I wonder if you’ll speed to get here before I let go
Probably won’t be long until I forever walk out that door
You want it all back & I do too but at what cost will I pay
when you decide to take it for granted before I say goodbye

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

We Fear Love;
fearing the thought of getting attached
just to give it everything we have
to a heart that never does seem to match

We Fear Love;
fearing getting close to someone who seems different
fooled by their claims & words
only for them to use us right before they become distant

We Fear Love;
for the many painful lessons the past taught us
trusting the one to be there
when we needed them to cease our fall but they never caught us

We Fear Love;
turning away all chances to find
the one thing we’ve always dreamt of
but it’s always led to being nothing but a waste of time

What you know about growing up being a disgrace to your family
What you know about hiding in your bedroom cause you’re scared of the reality
knowing your dad never gave a **** about you & left you behind
but as a youngin’ in this cold world, you’re naive to the signs
So you watch thru the window or checking thru the mail for a letter or birthday card
from the one person who never said goodbye or even gave you his best regards
What you know about feeling like the laughing stock of the high school
trying to act tough like your friends but you do nothing but make yourself look like a fool
being called names everyday so at night, you think about bringing that tool
to school & unleash madness on all of those fools
who made your days hell all because they thought it was cool
to pick on the kid wearing bummy clothes & those same run down shoes
& wanting to stand up for himself but in a fight, he’ll lose
when he stands toe to toe with the bullies only to be knocked out & talked about in the news
What you know about having a razor in the right hand & a gun in the left
looking for that shoulder to lean on but you ain’t got nobody else
who gives a **** about you enough to watch your back
& although God granted you life, you beg him to take it back
so you’re on your knees every night hoping to die in your sleep
just to wake up the next morning mad because you’re able to rise to your feet
confused as to why you’re still here & not deceased
just because the good Lord didn’t end your journey even if you did say please
What you know about depression?
What you know about built aggression?
What you know about looking at your mother to realize you’re her blessing
cause you’ve never been arrested or been out late & had her stressing
not knowing if she’ll get that call to hear you’re locked up or dead
from being in the streets, mixed up with the wrong crowd, & shot in the head
by another brother filled with rage but you weren’t involved
in yet another cold case that’ll probably never be solved
What you know about looking at every other guy & wishing you was him
just because he gets attention from the ladies & they’re attracted to him
then you ask yourself, how can I be like him
dress like him or even get the ladies to like me just like him
how wear my clothes a certain way just make them smile like him
& it makes you even more jealous when you know that you’ll never be like him
What you know about writing your life in these poems
just to see if someone can feel it like they feel those heartfelt songs
to the point where they shed a tear over your words & your voice
then you think about quitting all because you don’t have that voice
to bring your writings to life so they’ll have a deeper meaning
but you know your work to serve so you keep me believing
that one day you’ll be the one to bring change
to the next soul that you’re meant to save
- Poetic Venxm

It pains me when I think about it
The love I once had & how I’m lost without it
Used to be that match made but things changed
Your heart was falling but I desperately made the save
I can’t lie, I’m still partially in love with you
Still wishing I could share another moment with you
What you see in me? I’ll never know the reason
And if you told me, I probably wouldn’t believe it
I miss the reason I smiled & the days I heard your voice
Taking me into a daze & how it made me rejoice
Miss seeing myself in your eyes & knowing why you smiled
But it’s heartbreaking to take in that you haven’t smiled in a while
We both made our mistakes, why the fighting?
We both know you love me, what’s there to be deciding?
You love me & I love you yet we’re drifting apart
While still holding to our hearts before it gets torn apart
These tears I cry for you make me hate everything that went down
Our happy days are no more, our love only seems to frown
I brought us up, failing to realize the sound
Of us moving separately & here we are now
Can’t really be friends when you still have my heart
Can’t find a new inspiration when you’re the passion of my art
You give me the oxygen I need when I can’t breathe
The lullaby to my soul whenever I can’t sleep
The comfort I feel whenever I feel lonely
Why make me move on when you’re my one & only
That smile I miss, those lips I used to kiss
The happiness that guided me & the feeling that I miss
We can’t be just be friends when you mean so much more
Hurts to be friends with someone that my soul adores