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What started as a hobby 16 years would soon become my passion
The art of telling stories or expressing myself in ways I couldn’t imagine
I went from reading my moms poems to copying poems from english books
to rewriting those poems in my own words to writing raps doing what I saw on TV
but somewhere down the road, I never thought I’d fall in love with this thing we call poetry
I could’ve turned out to be another statistic by hanging out in the streets
instead I stayed in the house watching TV & listening to beats
I had many things running thru my mind but it was nothing I could tell anyone about
even if it was something interesting about me that they could learn about
Fast forward to my senior year of high school when I recited my 1st poem in front of my class
explaining the anger I kept built up for so long & I watched their eyes grasp my wrath
All i could remember was blacking out to let my emotions steer the ride of my heart
as the passion & pain would tear me apart
That one moment of truth made me realize that maybe this dream of mine isn’t a dream
but a way to connect to the intellect & strangely enough boost my self esteem
16 years of perfecting my craft, 16 years of keeping my passion alive
16 years of becoming what I am today & 16 years of that I’ve been able to survive
I’d tell you that you’re crazy if you told me that my poems would save a life
when it’s just me telling the struggles & battles that I’ve faced in my life
I became someone that some consider a hero & developed a fan base that love my pain
& for them, seeing someone brave enough to tell their story is the sunshine of our dark rain
Below is the link to my 2nd book, can't believe I just said that but I'll appreciate if all of you would read it. It's just some of my most personal writings. Even if you don't read it,  thanks even for considering it

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/166651348-coming-of-age-the-growth-from-a-boy-to-a-man
I promise myself I wouldn’t do this again
allow someone who let me down to break me again
but deep inside my heart, I can’t see myself without them
I think we’re meant to be but maybe I’m happier without them
Fooled me more than once but I somehow feel incomplete without them
& although terms ain’t the best, who’s to say my future is brighter without them
I’d be smart to walk away before it gets worst but a fool if I decided one more to try
to see if the wings that control this love will either fall flat on its face or actually built to fly
- Poetic Venom
I’ve hurt you more than once, you’ve hurt me more than once
We’ve had our ups & downs, our good days & our bad days
I really loved you so I let you go hoping you’d come back to me
while dealing with the sad truth to my reality
That man you met no longer exist & the new me catches you by surprise
breaking my heart with every tear that I see falling from your eyes
For every day I pray that it’s you laying next to me when I wake
holding each other in arms just to ensure the feeling of being safe
We’ve tried to love other people but coincidentally, it never worked out
making me feel as though it’s our love that we can’t do without
That heart you wanted is waiting here for you to grasp it
cause you & I both know that this love of ours is beyond fantastic
But it’s hurting me when I realize that I struck out only once
& I may not ever get the chance to prove that it’s YOU that I only see my future with
So I cry my eyes out every chance I get knowing I’ll never get the heart I’m so attached to
but nothing is more painful knowing that you’ll never understand just how much I loved you
- Poetic Venom
It was once filled with joy;
    it used to blossom in the sun
    but after being stuck in a few storms
    the rain from its petals continue to run

What was once the highlight of a sunny day;
    became a soaken delight
    only wishing that one day
    it’ll be happy from the roots that its soil writes

This Abandoned Flower;
    defines its own beauty but it only ignores
    the true meaning behind the uniqueness that’s instored
    within the essence of its pistil
    & maybe one day, it’ll grow to love what makes it so blissful

Poetic Venom
It dances along the fields
& you admire its reflection in the lake
Beautiful colors of a story
the beauty of a country day
Birds chirp the melody of a beautiful morning
& the crickets sing us good night
as we sit next to the bonfire
listening to music & remember the good days
of being kids enjoying the games we played
Hide & seek, freeze tag, to name a few
if we weren’t in the house playing Nintendo 64 taking turns if we lose
Summer break in the early mid 2000s, what a time to be alive
no technology, we used our imagination outside on the country side
Life under a Carolina Sunset, it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever known
pure beauty in a picture worth a thousand words alone

- Poetic Venom
Message to those that knew me before the ending
Back when you claimed me as a friend but all things have an ending
I want you to think about all the times you took me for granted
Before you turned on me & soon after I was abandoned
Now that I’m gone, I don’t want the guilt to eat you alive
Instead, think about the pain you caused & how I survived
Dead & gone, don’t you cry
I’m in the sky, say good bye
You made the choice, no regrets
I’m gone now, don’t pay respects
Did me wrong, I didn’t deserve it
I made mistakes, I’m not perfect
Accept your actions, it was on purpose
Thank you for making me feel worthless
Here as I stand;
Feet planted in the evening beach sand
staring at the sunset
face full of tears trying to understand

As I let go;
I flashback to the memories we once created
all the times we’ve spent
& all the feelings that were vacated

As I say goodbye;
to a best friend & someone who shared my heart
I sadly move on
from what I used to be in love with but tore me apart
You say you’re fine but deep inside
your scars is where your truth hides
Beneath your tears, the pain resides
confused with many choices tho you can’t decide
When you look into the mirror, what do you see inside?
a dark angel with faith or a lost soul struggling to survive
You’re surrounded by many yet you feel like no one resides
right next to you & your wings won’t let you fly
When the scars reveal themselves, what story will it reveal?
& if there’s a way to make it happen, how can you be healed?
You’re all smiles but I see that dark road to which you roam
where you’re disguised in the light but you still feel alone
- Poetic Venom
If you got it all back, what would you do?
If you have the best love you’ve ever wanted, how could you lose?
If my love was your treasure, would you keep it locked away?
If you knew all of my secrets, would it scare your love away?
You loved me but you never were a fool for me
just another broken heart loving me childishly
Sometimes  I don’t believe you miss me, probably just miss using me
I fell deep in love with someone whose love was abusing me
We never made love to each other’s mind, too busy making love instead
Never understood my intellect but more focused on getting in bed
I don’t know if we’re really meant to be but you can’t stay away from me
it’s like you know you have undeniable access to my heart without the key
I know you want those good times & memories back, can’t lie I do too
but it’s the worry of whether or not if I can still trust you
I can’t make you choose between him or me but you know who never hurt you
Who never broke your heart & who’d never desert you
My heart began turning red so I wonder if you’ll speed to get here before I let go
Probably won’t be long until I forever walk out that door
You want it all back & I do too but at what cost will I pay
when you decide to take it for granted before I say goodbye

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆
This year I thought of what I wanted for Christmas
a few things came to mind but it’s too important for a list
If I had my way, I’d bring the troops home to spend time with family
Give the homeless something to keep hope alive rather than suffering from tragedy
The things I’ve prayed for, money could never afford
I gift blessings & prosperity to others, I do this in request for no reward
I pray for Peace, I pray for Love, I pray for Unity, I pray for a better society
where everywhere is peace & horror is no longer a part of our reality
All I Want for Christmas is Change, All I Want for Christmas is Joy to All

- Poetic Venom
She told me it was my fault that we aren’t friends anymore
it’s my fault that I can’t hear her voice anymore
I would’ve been happy with life if I didn’t fall too quickly
it’s my fault that she walked away & not wit me anymore
I should’ve never fell for her but what do you expect
when you’re the 1st to love someone who’s used to neglect

Would’ve been the best friendship I could’ve asked for
but she wanted to be just friends & my heart wanted more
She wanted only phone conversations, I wanted to be held
just an idiot with feelings for the wrong person it’s my fault that we couldn’t excel
Guess this is what happens when you know the right choice but make a wrong
& that leads you to writing not a happy but a sad poem

You let me fall when I wanted to fall back into your arms
& allowed me drown in my sorrow
It’s my fault for living in the midst of these cold scars
left me to exist with a cold broken heart that’s forever hollow

☆ Poetic Venom ☆
I remember it so vividly me
the rage inside killing me
going to school every day
& at the end of each day, I would pray
ask God for the guidance
don’t have patience but I tried it
let everything go, enough is enough
everybody must die or ima give up
got home in the pm right around 3
before I hit the back door, found my uncles key
walked into his room looked in the closet
there goes the gun hiding in the darkness
I took it to my room & loaded it up
put it under my bed used my shoes to cover it up
next morning I wake up, wash up & head out
with the gun in my bag & the bus enroute
but 10mins before it pull up, I stopped & think
ima take my future then throw it down the sink
all I wanna do is ****, my fist hurts from the wall
punching it nonstop, guess I'm angry by default
on second thought I threw the gun in the ditch
before word gets out & my mom gets the switch
got ****** on my mind but couldn't fulfill it
blood painting the walls when I spill it
4 main targets that won't live to see 18
living out grand theft auto outside of my dreams
got to school but remained quiet while screaming
inside my head with the demon side scheming
on making a move to make them regret
messing with me with I dump led in their chest
waiting for a moment so I black out
destroy everything in sight, ima show you what this pain bout
alive or dead at the time it was worth the risk
but before either one, they'll remember me for this
in a world full of people

a circle of those i love

close to those i care for

somehow i still feel alone

- pencasso
Wake up every day feeling like the end is near
but if God got you then have no fear
Some days are bright, some days are dark
overwhelmed by the bad days but you still possess that spark
get up & look life in the eye
even when you crash, you’re still fly
What’s faith if you give up when times get hard
What’s the point of playing the game if you fold when your favor ain’t in the cards
Look at you, you’re blessed & highly favored
out here trying to make better & get this paper
Don’t worry about the hard times, they come & go
Trouble don’t last always so don’t you fold
Even when all Hope seems gone, God comes thru in the clutch
although people are full of it, in him you can always trust
God got you & you got you, you gone be alright
You’re a solider in the battlefield, don’t give up the fight
Life is a War & i refuse to let you give in during the struggle
I’ll keep you from going over when life got you in trouble
You gone be alright, keep ya head up & keep moving
Your win is soon to come, remain humble regardless if you’re winning or losing
- Poetic Venom
Motivational Monday
Dear Ambitious Girl, your ambition drives me crazy
And I’m thinking to myself, how can one not want to pursue this lady?
My main interest in you is to not stay with you or lay with you
Just trying to know the woman on the inside, what makes you beautiful?
I see your desires & your drive, I wanna make love to it
Support your dreams & biggest goals in life, your confidence I’ll produce it
I’ve dated in many in the past who just accused me of trying to smash
Comparing me to the **** boys they’ve dated of how they’d hit it & dash
And I know plenty of women who only care for the materialistic things
Looking for the cash in my pocket & the joy of what the luxury life brings
I had many to question why I was pursuing so hard to look deep within
Not realizing why I was seeking the inner beauty that would interest me to be a friend
Excuse me for trying to know the woman within that makes you unique
But I could be the average man who mainly wants to get you under the sheets
Tell me when you’re busy so I won’t cause a disturbance
I see you working for your dreams & I want you to flourish
I know plenty will try to knock you down cause you’re in a different lane
Judging you for trying to be great & they’re all the same
I wanna fall in love with what you do & be right there to support you
Treat a Queen like who she is, take a bow right before you
You ask what inspires my interest, it’s the grind & your intelligence
Rare existing elegance & your mentality which possesses many outstanding elements
I’m interested in the person you are but I already love the queen you’re trying to be
The type of Queen who doesn’t need a man for anything but his time & honesty
I know you’d rather be great then to chase after some man
Or try to win a man over even though your values he won’t understand
Dear Ambitious Girl, I know you’re working for Perfection & I salute you
Keep grinding for greatness & when the time’s right, I’ll finally meet you
A Heart of Gold I have yet to possess while others do nothing but amuse you
And in the meantime, I hope this open letter completely moves you
The tears of lost souls usually get overlooked or ignored by most which leads to the wandered travel dark paths that result in death or being empty

And they're further pushed to the edge when their pain becomes a comedy until they're gone then all rise the apologies which is only given to cover the negligence of those they're loved by

I see the carnage from a birds eye view hence why I write the way I do especially if it means there's light for a greater hope

I stand in the midst of cried rivers falling from the eyes of the misery that details the terror inherently within the world they were brought up in with the most of them losing friends & some seek the path of no return just waiting for their souls to burn in the war amongst ourselves
Am I wrong for thinking we could be legit, happy at peace building a foundation that lasts for eternity. Best friends in every aspect & feeding off each others energy

Is it unnecessary to stay safe although I doubt you’ll cause me harm with your heart not being able to handle tearing me apart or looking to you for light when my world becomes dark

Am I crazy for thinking you’re IT for me & everybody else is only a distraction to keep me from loving this source of life that’s the answer for my prayers

And am I fool for falling in love with you when you hold the missing key to this heart of mine & although it’s damaged goods, you still admire it for its true worth that’s intact from the aftermath of loves nature disaster

I don’t believe in luck but I believe in faith, being that it’s the only thing that brought us together when we needed each other the most & taught us that real love deserves to be fought for
From the second I saw her, I knew things were about to get brighter
from the way you felt in my arms
to the fireworks within your eyes
to the way we talked for hours
it wasn’t long before I realized
you’d be the key to helping me fly

That one minute we spent with a kiss;
I heard my heart shed it’s 1st happy tear
joyful that you wouldn’t bring it any fear
caught in a daze as if we were both dreaming
falling for the melodies that our hearts were singing

An Aquarius Kiss;
you made me look at myself in a way like never before
made me feel these emotions to which I’ve never felt before
opened my eyes to make me realize just how charming I am
although from the 1st introduction, I was worried about a scam
but here we are still hanging on by a thread as I pray we grow stronger
because I’m afraid to lose you to someone else & what we have is no longer
present but I’m working to ensure this last for a while
From the second I saw her, I knew things were about to get brighter
from the way you felt in my arms
to the fireworks within your eyes
to the way we talked for hours
it wasn’t long before I realized
you’d be the key to helping me fly

That one minute we spent with a kiss;
I heard my heart shed it’s 1st happy tear
joyful that you wouldn’t bring it any fear
caught in a daze as if we were both dreaming
falling for the melodies that our hearts were singing

An Aquarius Kiss;
you made me look at myself in a way like never before
made me feel these emotions to which I’ve never felt before
opened my eyes to make me realize just how charming I am
although from the 1st introduction, I was worried about a scam
but here we are still hanging on by a thread as i pray we grow stronger
because I’m afraid to lose you to someone else & what we have is no longer
present but I’m working to ensure this last for a while

-Poetic Venom
found freedom within the cage

found relief within the rage

born again in the worst way

the old me I tried to save

found peace within the madness

poetic with razors using my skin as a canvas

in the mirror, I no longer see me

but the monster that became me
The constant battle between sanity & insanity
the sudden rush of worry that comes before me
Questions of close acquaintances on what’s gotten into me
using these meds heavy, they’ve became a friend of me

But they don’t know how anxiety can mentally destroy a man
I wanted to be happy & worry free, this wasn’t part of the plan
so here I am at war with myself & the mind of the possessed
trying to figure out if the end is indeed next
cause even when I pray to be let go
I can never plan for the consequences
it’s either Freedom or a Death Sentence
no fear of any human alive except I
Anxiety brought out the best in me,
that’s why I cry
- Poetic Venxm
No inspiration for another entry but my talent itches to create
so I look in various places hoping to get back to my creative space
Whether it’s thru social media or from a line in a song
I listen to the words being spoken as my thought process follows along
A Poet’s Blues? That’s something you may never be able to relate to
Just the need of wanting to write but nothing exactly to inspire you
It’s like facing a roadblock but there’s no detours insight to get around it
you’re just traveling thru it & facing the horrified soundtrack around it
Could you easily find your inspiration when you’ve written over 400+ entries
wanting to keep writing but your drive & motivation feels empty
Not sure if you wanna write about your life, to a song, or just something
to keep your mind running even if the poem’s about nothing
My Poetry Blues, falls in place when I get the desire to write based on what I see
coming from the soundtrack of someone’s life but it relates to me
I just sit there in my living room with my pen falling asleep on the paper
wishing for an idea to come my way thru my mental creator
A Poet’s Blues? Imagine having your mind freeze & you’re just standing there
frozen in time & frustrated with nothing to say as you pull out your hair
When it’s all said & done, you’ll probably never understand the anger or a talent’s snooze
cause at the end of the day, no one really cares about a Poet’s Blues

☆ Poetic Venom ☆
if i should fly before i dream
in the clouds, my silent screams
on bending knees still i pray
take care of sis, make sure mom is okay
making her proud was a must
the only lady I’ll ever trust
may not have lived right
but i always tried my best
whether it made her smile
or caused her unintentional stress
& in the night when she’s wide awake
wrap arms around her
ensure her it’ll be okay
her side I’ll never leave
her back I’ll always have
& even if all my days are rainy
she’ll always be the sun
shining in
to hide the dark clouds that
surrounds me
life will be eternal
my spirit lives on forever
thru my words to make better
in the midst of hell where we exist
& it’s imperative that i proceed
I’m full of joy & peace, at last
& to you, i owe you that dance
I often ask myself if All Women Are the Same
with the games they play
or when you try to give them your time & interest
they become distant but never explain they’re fading away

I often ask myself if All Women are the Same
feed you lies as if they’re truly into you
but it’s bs with excuse after excuse
just to keep from telling the truth
of why they don’t wanna talk to you

I often ask myself if All Women are the Same
when they tell you that they’re not like the rest
how your position is solid although you’re just a guest
occupying her time until her true interest acts right
& the whole time you feel like something isn’t right
but they never speak their truth to save your feelings
even when their intentions aren’t polite

Are All Women the Same?
with the games they play & the fake interest
gassing you up before they become distant
spreading this charm & it’s hard to resist it
looking for that mutual intimacy, only failing to realize
it never existed

- Poetic Venom
As a man, I’m not ashamed to admit that I cry sometimes in the dark where I can’t be seen to anyone else who may not understand the concept behind my pains rainfall or the aftermath of the destruction from my damaged heart

Almost everyday, I question my stance as a man looking for any errors that may need correcting or any part of my spirit that maybe in need of improvements

Sometimes, I feel weak for being so emotional about what I feel or passionate about sharing love with another soul that needs me

Overall, I feel I am amazing but fall short on qualities needed to attract certain eyes that see through my false happiness & see the treasure that’s tucked away behind this pure heart of mine
As a Man;
My main objective is make you happy in any way possible
but there are things you request of me that I shouldn’t been held responsible
I understand that your heart has been broken several times
& almost every man has made your soul cry
however, I do ask that you don’t demand for me to fix the cracks
of your shattered heart or place that undeserved pressure on my back
for I’m trying you in the best way possible, flaws & all
but I’m not obligated for punishment when I’m not the cause
cause happiness can’t be created when pain hasn’t cease to exist
it only causes more havoc with potential blessings being missed
I’m not the 1st to love you but I strive to be the last
but in order for me to do so, it’s imperative to forgive the past

As a Woman;
I desire to be your King, best friend, & partner
with the need to bring light when your world gets darker
You’re not my child, my prisoner, or my property
I don’t control your well being, that's not how to love properly
You have everything you already need but you request my presence
& that alone, in my eyes, is an overwhelming blessing
help me love you so I can love you to my best ability
never take you for granted or conduct in clownery
I’m a force alone but with you, I’m a statement
I’m capable of being the best but show me how to be the Greatest
There’s this world within mind
that I roam in from time to time
searching for any sign
that you’ll be mine

As I Make This Wish

Here you stand right before me
tears falling within my palm
as my heart writes the song
the perfect love story for me

As I Make This Wish

I pray to God above
that this woman to be
is just for me
& forever I’ll be
loyal to thee

- Poetic Venom
Valentines Day of 93, a star was birthed to the world
extremely gifted from the womb with big things to unfurl
A broke product growing up on the streets of Lynchburg
Red Top to be exact with a message to the world waiting to be heard
At the age of 9, he found his passion by scanning thru old notebooks
that his mom kept private with her thoughts of cold world that’s been shook
The process began by summarizing what he read thru the English text
slowly got good with it but the question remained, what’s next?
Senior year of high school, the unthinkable would take place
one individual would turn heads from his diary of hidden hate
felt from those around him & from those who did him wrong
expressing how he was breaking down inside & didn’t know how to be strong
A nervous wreck before getting on stage to confess his inner feelings
but finished it like a concert to hear the applause raising up to the ceiling
But that was years ago & sometimes I question if I’m really star worthy
like I should keep my poems to myself cause this world doesn’t deserve me
but it makes me think of the things that I’d like to achieve
or the other people who need my guidance to believe
How could I be the star in my mind if the spotlight which is mine that I’m scared to possess
then to hear those who admire me tell me that I’m the best
Yea a star was born on that cold Sunday evening but seeing that star shine scares me
yet the feeling of overcoming the odds still manages to compel me
☆ Poetic Venom ☆
I’ve been beyond the bottom, I survived every inch of hell
I’ve bled my own blood but still I aim to prevail
Life as you know it can be an emotional journey
I’ve hit rock bottom due to those who’ve hurt me
I’ve been addicted to pills, been addicted to self harm
Watched many that I love walk away when I went thru the storm
Many mistakes made, many struggles faced
Same broken records played, feeling alone in a beloved place
I failed once to be great but what’s progression if you stay down
Heavy is the Head of He who wears the Crown
Life isn’t perfect but neither am I
And I have too much to live for to give up & fly
You didn’t love me when I wanted to give it all up
You didn’t love me when I kept this wall up
So if I have to be perfect for you love me
then I don’t wanna be loved if it means you’ll judge me
At my Best, I will inspire those like me to be Great
no matter the struggles, trials, & tribulations or mistakes
You failed to love me when I was at my worst
so don’t bother loving me when I’m at my best

☆ Poetic Venxm Wrld ☆
Back at one from being over & done
under your moonlight with me as the sun
Watching the glow from far away
awaiting my time to make a play
to win your heart & marry your soul
with one shot to score my last goal

Back at one from where the chapter never ended
falling in love still, only from a respected distance
You smile not the same but we know why
when you smile now, it’s followed by a cry
in your heart where I once reside
around your spirit & forever by your side
- Poetic Venxm
Never interested in commitment
Ran from loyalty & faithfulness
Tempted by false advertisements
Shot down by disappointments

A man running around like a boy
taking hearts & using them like a toy
Requirements of a dog to be met
down to the lowest level, lack of self respect

My Forever was only temporary
I played the fool yet again
so in return, I took a turn for the worst
feeling as tho Love was nothing short of a curse

Now here I arm, in the presence of a Queen
something I only saw in my dreams
This feeling of electricity that’s flowing thru my soul
even when feeling incomplete, she makes me whole
- Poetic Venom
What happened to us? How did we get here?
All this fighting & I’m feeling like the ending is near
I’ve stuck around more than I needed to
& waited around because I thought I needed you
I’m a man of little faith but I believed in you
I guess 1+1 just doesn’t make 2
but what am I to do when all I wanted was you
only to be left behind while he falls for you
Death race for love but somehow we made the wrong turn
you’re close to the finish line while I’ve crashed & burned
All is fair in Love & War, I’m the only one without an armor on
willing to die for you, the pain I wasn’t running from
You ask what are we fighting for but here’s what you don’t understand
I can’t just sit back to watch you love another man
justifying your lies trying to get me to understand
that sometimes things happen & this love wasn’t planned
so you put on this act as if you can feel me dying inside
but the truth of the matter is, you drug me right thru all your lies
And in case you failed to see the memo or maybe I’m misunderstood
this becomes strike 3, which means we’re done for good
- Poetic Venom
be
be
be the rhythm in my blues
whenever I want to feel loved

be the beat in my flow
whenever I want to move

be the star in my night
whenever my darkness needs light

be the umbrella
whenever my tears feel like rain

be the dream
whenever I lay my soul to sleep

be my everything
a King is lost without a Queen
It brings Sadness
leaves us confused
changing our approach
modifying our point of view

For most, it’s a fantasy
a feeling only present
when our eyes close
to grow old as one & raise a family

Go thru hell & craziness
wasting precious time
being broken
just to get to happiness

That’s what Love is
trails & tribulations
dead ends, lonely nights
live life alone holding grudges
The picture is clear
but the essence breaks me
to admire the concept
yet the idea hates me

To feel appealing
but lack the origins
or the praise from within
to accept the
beauty within the ugliness

They say pictures are worth
a million words
but sometimes, the art
can’t get over the curbs
fearing what lies
on the other side of life

To most, it may seem pointless
but to certain eyes
it’s a work of expression
afraid of indulging in its
own blessing   - Pencasso
You always look for beauty but  ignore the main view

You see this image every day but treat it as if it's see through

I’ve said it plenty of times but it has yet to click to you

Sure it has its fair share of scars & scratches but its beauty shines thru

& I’m trying to inspire that confidence to reveal that has yet to debut

Hidden within plain sight but only certain eyes knows it’s true

even if you disagreed, they keep trying to convince you

If you’re still confused or lost on where beauty exist while following along

then go back & read the 1st word of this poem
- Poetic Venom
There’s beauty in poetry if used the right way
it creates many emotions that you never existed
Picture it as an artist painting a canvas
only a paper is the canvas & words are the paintbrush
the ability to use words to collide imaginations with reality
it’s music without a beat or a rhythm
Give a poet an idea, a paper, & a pen then watch them create
That’s the Beauty in Poetry
- Poetic Venom
I’ve heard rumors about this rose that’s been thru the lighting
Facing all types of let downs & it made life less exciting
This rose doesn’t smile the way it used to & I question
Why no one has ever cared enough to appreciate this blessing
It’s different from every other rose in many different ways
But being blind to it’s own uniqueness, it focuses on the flaws it displays
It’s not as beautiful as the other roses or looks the same
But it has one factor about it that changes everything
It feels hideous due to the cracks that lies between
The petals but it has something unlike anything I’ve ever seen
The tears of this rose tell the story that’s quite inspiring
And no matter how it tries to make itself seem unworthy, it’s still quite desiring
It’s just that one rose resting in the garden that stands out from the rest
Simply by being different in her own ways
Possessing scarred petals & wishing for shorter days
The Beauty of this Heartbroken Rose, you can’t deny it
There’s something rare & God given within so I pray that she finds it
I know y’all idolize your dad like he can do no wrong
but it takes a lot of strength & faith to survive for this long
Take a look back at the life I’ve lived, I don’t want that for y’all
struggling to make a penny or every Saturday window shopping in the mall
You’re a King in the making son, don’t let these females toy with your mind
to make you think you’re not good enough to share their time
Your dad was on the prowl when he was younger, don’t you make that same mistake
avoid breaking a woman’s heart & falling for temptation trying to find a replacement
If you learn anything from me, be a better man with morals & characteristics
don’t throw your reel in the ocean until you’re absolutely ready to go fishing
Baby girl, you’re my whole world & your heart is something beyond precious
that I’ll give my life for if someone tries to tarnish such a blessing
Whatever route you take in life, run away from guys like the old me
looking for temporary pleasure to cure the raging hormones of being lonely
When you decide to fall in love, make sure he’s the perfect guy
who inspires you to be the best woman possible & helps you fly
Let no woman or no man treat you any less than what you know you are
your heart can only endure so much pain, let no one create one too many scars
Be the man that took me years to evolve into, don’t ever meet a man like the younger me
don’t fall for looks, let their love cherish you
Be a King & Queen of Oneself, walk your own path but always be better than me

PoeticVenom
You got begging me to be in your life;
taking extra steps just to prove a point but I ask why
am I trying so hard to prove that I’m not just some guy
that she’s met before & I can understand she’s afraid
but maybe she’ll never understand the cloth of from which I was cut
from & you can’t make someone see that you’re in it for the lust.
But I wanna ask her one question but I don’t think that even she
can explain why I’m begging for something that she’ll give a clown for free.
At first she responded with the quickness but now of all sudden
she’s afraid of me & I’m kind of confused on why she’s running
away from me when I’ve never even tried to change my ways
instead I insisted on being the light of her day & the smile from when she wakes
So I’m begging for something when she’ll give it another freely
she sees every effort being put in but yet she still can’t see me
& the second I quit trying, I guess I’ll become just all the rest
when in reality, she ignored a blessing that meant the best
Beg for Your Love? Sorry sweetheart but begging is something I’m not into
either give me the chance to love you or go your separate way
cause I’ll never beg for something that a clown can easily have the same way
Be my Light when my World goes Dark

Be my Strength when I feel Weak

Be my Happily Ever After minus the Cost

Be my Faith when all Hope feels Lost

Be my Forever, not just my Today

Be the Sun in my Sky, Be the Tear in my Eyes

Be not another Goodbye
I never detail the contemplations to which my mind steers me
Forcing me to see that demon in the mirror that still drives this fear in me
It’s the fear of hitting my breaking point but not sure of how far I’ll go
Just to ease the pain I suffer from & will it cause my blood to flow
I keep having this dream where I’m stuck inside a bathroom, sitting in a bathtub
With a bottle of liquor, a razor blade, & a loaded gun sitting next to me on the floor
Candles lit, music blasting, but here I am shedding tears that everyone else ignores
I’m questioning why I never talk about these issues when i already know the reason
Revealing the dark truth about my suffering while trying stop many from leaving
So should I drink my sorrows away or take a bullet to the brain
Or cut myself to drown in a tub of blood before someone calls me mentally insane
Which poison do I choose? Which evil is worse than the other?
If this inner demon comes outta me, would the pain still be hard to discover?
I remain trapped within the mind as I stare at the ceiling as Monster plays in my head
Knowing that it’s only a matter of time before I either snap out of it or I end up dead
Clock’s ticking, blood’s spilling, liquor’s burning my liver, & my soul starts to shiver
I feel the monster inside of me coming out but I can’t bare to look into the mirror
Do I face the music finally or do I keep running away as it keeps breaking me down?
Pretending to be okay knowing on the inside my death is due to be announced
I’m in the final seconds & I still haven’t made my decision
Blade in my left hand with the gun cocked in my right
Threw the blade on the floor before I put the gun to my head
Saying my last goodbye to those I love but then I get that phone call
It’s my best friend crying hysterically trying to catch my fall
There’s a pound on the door but I’m refusing to open it
Cocking the gun back once more right before the door gets broken
BANG the gun goes off & I black out, waking up on the floor unconscious
Then I open my eyes seeing 3 people standing over me as I become nauseous
They pull me up as I’m looking over at the tub to realize that it was never real
It wasn’t me in the tub that I was trying to ****
No gun, no blade, & no bottle present just my phone face down with the music still playing
I just fell asleep on the floor next to that anxiety bottle that I was taking
But it made me realize how I got lost in that world seeking any way to escape
Even it it meant taking out myself just to get me away from that hell crafted place
Stability, electric, & comfortability
with the candles lit along with R&B
the vibe you getting more close to me
but I don't need to take off clothes
kiss your lips or wrap your legs around me
Just need the sound of your voice
along with your trust instilled in me
with me sitting back allowing you to safely
be yourself, there's no catch with me
if you need to cry or laugh, feel free
it's the small things that I wanna see
the small things others don't get to see
that side of you that you only gift to me
the side of you that comes alive with me
the side of you that doesn't need me
but with my help, it becomes magic
you don't feel judged or backed in a corner
more like a friend with a lending shoulder
that vibe alone is the best of me
cause it's the best type of intimacy
the type of space where you feel safe with me
the type of space where you fall in love with me
Be a Better Man

I’m struggling trying to be a better man
explain my pain so my mom will understand
why her baby boy has felt alone for years
smiling in her face but inside I’m all tears
I’m depressed & a mess, yea i confess
I can’t go a day without being depressed
tried to overdose but it never would work
cause i can’t see my mom crying til her soul hurts
I got women coming in my life tryna show me affection
but I’m stuck in the past getting over aggression
from dealing with someone who i thought was a blessing
only to be left in the dirt, guess that’s where i was destined
for since I’m never placed first or at least second
Sleeping around just isn’t my thing, that’s only to hide the truth
& many say they want me but i never see the proof
I’m just tryna be a better man so my kids will understand
how their father made it thru hell & still here i stand
Not perfect by any means nor do i aim to be
just trying to do right & what’s best for me
Don’t wanna cry no more, don’t wanna fly no more
Don’t wanna hate myself, i just wanna love me more
And my apologies to the women who’ve tried their best to show me
that I’m an amazing guy, I’m learning now but slowly
see i was blinded by the pain so i only saw the flaws
so I’m catching myself, God please don’t let me fall
just show me the real me & heal me from what makes me feel empty
I just wanna love myself cause i know I’m my biggest enemy
Note to Self: Self Reflection
I feel better off dead
broken promises of those who I loved dearly
feeling invisible & their actions stated clearly
that I was only needed when on their time
so I struggle to survive most of my days feeling my soul dying
from trying to love as I said I would
but yet, my heart remains ignored & misunderstood.

I feel better off dead
drinking heavy & contemplating on suicide
waiting to go home where the other departed souls reside
wanting to get high just to ease the pain within
caused by enemies posing themselves as friends
I see that monster in my eyes but I refuse to let unleash it
feeling like it’s just evil provoking & I can beat it
but I keep losing control every tear I shed
from thinking how life will change once I’m dead
free from the pain, free from the hurt
no longer living with fear that one day my heart will deperse
in silence where we reside

smiling with pain inside

guilty for following intuition

our blessing as well as our downfall

the cons of having a huge heart
I am Alone, I am Invisible
far from innocent but not a criminal
I stand in the room with everyone else
but I fade to darkness knowing all I have is myself
We’re supposed to be a family but where’s the love
especially when everyone wants to be perfect & quickly to judge
I never come around cause I don’t fit in
I gave up that battle, I’m just not shaped to win
I’m unique from the rest & it’s scary to see
ever since I was born, my family has isolated me
I never speak a word but my presence speaks clear
the love is tainted but the pain is severe
- Poetic Venom
We don’t live the same life
don’t share the same belief
you feel like I’m living a lie
my lifestyle, you don’t agree
but we both sin every day
& every day we pray
for God’s forgiveness
just in a different way
you live by the book
I live by my own views
just because I don’t follow the same path
doesn’t make me any less than you
I am of no religion
but God is the Greatest
holiness or spiritual
but for the final say so,
we’re all adjacent
we don’t live the same life
don’t share the same belief
you feel I’m lying a lie
my lifestyle you don’t agree
but we sin every day
& every day we pray
for God’s forgiveness
just in a different way
you live by the book
I live by my own views
just because I don’t follow the path
doesn’t make me any less than you
I am of no religion
but God is the Greatest
holiness or spiritual
for the final say so, we’re all adjacent  - Pencasso
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