Don't wait for me
to come to the surface.
There is a lifetime of possibility
here on the ocean floor.
Let me be
the bottom-dweller
first discovered by submarine.
The darkness is not
as intimidating
as it may seem.

Don't feel around for my body
with your feet.
You won't find me in the shallow end
of the sea;
walk down the gradual *****,
where there is no air left to breath.
Over the mountains and hills
and great plains,  then you'll find me
Seven miles deep
in the Marianas Trench.

Then you'll understand my immense stress.

You and I
walk together
beholden to the moonlight
to day's light and days late
destined
to remain here
though not forever

I with you
and you with me
intertwined
with complicated ties
holding us together
in threads
Though not forever

You and I
skin deep
layered with lifetimes
of epidermal decay
visceral wounds
neither one will confess
though not forever

We walk together
Separating
you and I
I with you
seeking connectedness
knowing the truth of our existence
though not entirely

We are protected from so much pain. For example: graves.
The earth’s roots and brown-black blood are busy
covering the soft, violated bodies of our loves.
Death is a secret, and the rain with its many hands

washes off the streets to the gutters death’s thick surprise.
The automatic shutter of the eye never fails,

the courtesies of the tongue. What goes on in the rooms of houses
is guarded from us by the hardwood doors,

the carefully closed windows. Whatever was said or done,
night will come, eagerly, to clean up.

And death will shield us, in time,
from the sun’s megalithic promise:

Tomorrow, the same day.
Tomorrow, the same day.

For example: A flower
is the most beautiful lie.

I let the drops fall through my
fingers, intertwined
their moisture lingers
I ruffled the strands of hair
that sprout from your scalp
I dared to caress your arm
but you drew it away from me
and now I feel blindly, without
a path to touch with my toes
there arose
a great time, in my
mind
when I went looking for you in
sunshine
but the weather grew grey
I'm alone, sometimes
and afraid
please try to stay
away.

The dawn breeze caresses my skin;
How torturous that I feel it again
Maybe this is why I am afraid,
Scared to sleep at night because I
Will still wake to see the new sun rise;
A new day begins even though I tried

It's slightly less painful to be awake
Then slumber through the daybreak;
I'd rather live in the dark than
Wake to it once again, still waiting
For the light hours in which I can
Live with some degree of truth

Birds awakening fill my tired ears
With songs of the new start ahead,
Each day is fresh but I'd rather wake
Midway through it than anticipate
It's coming, now it seems I am
Eternally in the dark, waiting.

Why do we pour ourselves into anyone
Or anything, if not to forget?
And why do we do anything at all,
If not to escape; why, if life
Is so hard, do we fight to live it?
Do we find beauty in its faults,
Or love in its intricacies; is there
Some state of grace we can achieve,
Or are we all merely surviving
Through our allocated existence?
Can there ever be more?
Is happiness real, or only
A dream of humanity; did we
Invent it, to give some meaning to
The years spent crawling on this earth?
If we are so evolved, why are we
Also so entrenched in destruction;
The using up of our resources,
The race towards our own ends?
Are we ever truly alive?

Although I long to be held so tight
I see stars; and your arms at night
Could hold my pieces together
Could patch the cracks, keep me
Afloat and standing, shakily
I cannot ask you for forever.

Do not hold me like I want
You'll cut yourself on my hipbones
The razors; my chest would bruise
You as you try to fix me now
Do not love me; I'd pull you down
I could not ask you to lose.

I long for your arms, I miss
You giving me life with your kiss
Breathing fresh air into my lungs
Expelling the poison I hide within
I'll burn you, hurt you, if I begin
To steal your life just to be young.

Although you want to save my soul
And piece me into something whole
Do not caress me as I crave
I'll ruin you; my bones are sharp
There's a hole in my stuttering heart
Maybe we should go our separate ways.