Always remember
When the loneliness breaks through
That to peer into the darkness
Is a gift from me to you

The dread is overwhelming
It eats into your soul
Infecting that tiny part of you
That is positive and whole

Don't be afraid of who you are
Your special cant you see
Complexity is your power
It connects you to me

perhaps being told
“you are not alone,” is the
scariest of all

Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.

My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

Beautiful. How do you describe this when beauty is claimed differently for everyone...
  
Every Man , Woman , and Child is adored by another dazzling human being . These people are beautiful despite faults , addictions , and wrecks of emotion . I yearn to discover the beauty that lies beneath a person's skin .

I try to write about you
Try to sing like I used to
Rattling breath
Wheezing and violent
The defeated silence

I lost my voice
Somewhere along the way
I stopped being everything
You insist you love

But are you just in love
With set paths
Predictable roads
Are you just in love
With not being alone

Deep down I think you suffer like me
There’s voices whispering
Telling you you will never be loved
And this is your last chance too

I tried to sing
I thought pulling out
What my old voice wrote
Would remind me what I sound like

But instead I’m in silent tears
Note after note
Verse after verse
Black and white it’s written
Obvious

I’ll tell you about my last songs
The last true voice I ever had
I sung our fears
I sung my truth

It’s so cliche
To say im broken
But the evidence is too damning
We’ve always been doomed

I sing about a last great defeat
Blades that ran me through
I sung about a soul tearing
A destruction of self

I cannot be in love
My missing pieces have not grown back
Fires ravaged the forest I grew
After evil hands tore them up
Right to the roots

Black black black
Loss loss loss

I guess I never really moved forward
The memories are fleeting
If they ever come up
I have forgotten the details

But the belief
The shattering
The robbing of self
Has come with me all this time

The labels given to me
I wear as a crown
Of metal and debris
Announcing to all
I am
Beautiful
Tragic
Lost

it's kind of sad to me how now
i might finally be starting to get a little better
but now i wish i used to work harder
and do more
but i know i wasn't able to
because i was so sick
but it hurts that i feel like
i wasted so much time