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Ariana Robinson Nov 2018
I don't run from my demons
I see them everytime I look in the mirror
Maybe that's why I hate looking at myself so much

Because I see them
And they're a part of me
And there's no hiding it
And I think they like being seen

They show the true darkness that lies in me
That lies within us all
I'm a truly ****** up person but many wouldn't see it just from looking at me.
Ariana Robinson Nov 2018
I won't remember the parties
Or the school events
Or the games
Because I never went to them

But this is what I will remember
I'll remember the late nights of homework
And having to wake up early the next morning
And being exhausted in my 9am class

I'll remember the stress that ate my *** alive
To the point where I would cry for 10 minutes straight
And then get back to work like it never happened

I'll remember having an anxiety attack after leaving my professor's office
Because she made me feel stupid about how I wrote my speech
And the moment I stepped outside
I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding
Then, I started hyperventilating and crying

I'll remember working out in the gym
Because according to my doctor I was obese
And well exercise is a great stress reliever

I'll remember losing my grandfather my junior year
And being so sad and depressed that some days I wouldn't even go to class
And having to go home for the first time and see him not there

I'll remember going through a break up the summer before my junior year
And having my ex try to gain my trust so that he would get another chance
Still confused on whether I should or shouldn't by the way

I'll remember growing closer to some of my friends
And some of my friends distancing themselves from me
And barely spending time with my friends from home

I'll remember contemplating on dropping out
Or going to another school
Or trying to make my other dreams come true

I'll remember being in the financial aid office more times than I can count
Because I'm paying out of pocket for my education
Student loans, Pell grants, and financial aid
Still isn't enough to cover my tuition

I'll remember being moved off campus into smaller dorms
Sharing a room with my best friend
And fighting off creepy crawlers and critters that found their way inside
And missing classes because transportation either ran late
Or didn't come at all

Who knows what else I'll remember
Not done with college yet
Is college really worth it?
Ariana Robinson Nov 2018
Why would I wear my heart on my sleeve?
Such a dangerous place for it to be...
Ariana Robinson Nov 2018
I saw something in you
That you probably couldn't see for yourself
I saw who you were
I saw who you are
I saw who you could be
When you were still searching
Trying to find your true self
I simply saw you
And that was enough for me
You being you is enough
Ariana Robinson Oct 2018
Inside the glass house
And those on the outside
Are the ones throwing the boulders
Chips of glass surround my feet
Leaving me nowhere to step
Unless I want to get cut
And I already have enough scars
I'm the glass house and you throwing boulders.
Ariana Robinson Oct 2018
I wonder do you remember
When I would hold your face in my hands
Like some precious jewel I found
And just run my thumbs across your cheeks
Your eyes would crinkle up
Because you would smile
And I would smile
Or gaze into your eyes
And would get lost in what I saw
I wonder did you see how much I loved you then
Because now it seems
You don't love me at all
Love lost once again.
Ariana Robinson Oct 2018
I ignored all the red flags
Like they didn't exist
Even though they were like beacons of light guiding me through the dark
They were noticeable
Some may even say obvious
But I ignored them for you
Because I loved you that much
Because I figured what's a few dangers when you're in love
And I gave you my heart as a keepsake
But your red flags
They waved proudly
And I realized just how dangerous they can be
There were too many. Too many flags, that is.
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