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JoshuaX Nov 2017
Alcohol's been callin me what should I do
I've been waitin forever just to have you
they cant understand my point of view
just know that whatever happens I'd still love you
JoshuaX Feb 2018
False hopes and dark thoughts
Neck wrapped with a rope
Salvation you sought
Gave your all
Recieved nothin at all
Now in darkness you fall
JoshuaX Nov 2017
I drink to relieve the pain but endin up reliving it
i just want to leave but you forced me to live in it
true love i was believing
then you told me you would be leaving
JoshuaX Dec 2017
They bullyin to feel better from the life they've been livin
Shouts so loud but can't talk about what they really feelin
Acts so tough but cant handle being alone
You attack the weak cause they got a home
While you only have a house to live in
Where people ignore you and others have been leavin
JoshuaX Nov 2017
hard for me to not have her
nights so cold just like winter
would rather lose everything just to win her
JoshuaX Feb 2018
They say real men cry, I guess tonight I'm the realest again

Sleepless nights that are full of sorrow,

Hard to sleep knowing no ones
waiting for you tomorrow.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
You dont have to cry
But maybe you need to,
I know times gettin hard
Cant imagine the things you go through,
Never forget you have people lovin you
So keep your head up
There are people who loves you.
Just cryyy
JoshuaX Apr 2018
Aint nobody laughin but my life is just a joke
Everyday i wear a mask go out there and i pretend
That theres nothin wrong when inside i want to end
My life if i could just take a rest for a while or accept that im depressed
I try to fix my life but its already in a mess
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Sometimes I wanna thank God he let the devil be with me
So I'd be aware on whoever loves me
Why didn't I notice
I Should've known this
I should've seen this I am turnin like her
I'd take the risk
Everyday it's her that I miss.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Is it crazy?
the fact that she
can only love me when she's tipsy
But i still love her
even if she can't love me when shes sober
JoshuaX Apr 2018
I am somethin that nobody would appreciate
Its not that nobody gave a **** or they are trying to hate
But nobody noticed the efforts that i made
People in my life waitin that i fail
JoshuaX Apr 2018
A couple months from now i dont know what i would say
Cause they was always right
Maybe i was born to fail
There are people who is bound for greatness people who prevail
And there are others that only thought theyd be great
I wish i was the first but at the end of the day
I can only dream if i can be like them
I am somethin that nobody would appreciate
JoshuaX Nov 2017
What if I was born as a failure?
I will never know and I will never be sure
Did my best but it wasn't enough
Stood my ground but I wasn't as tough
I need a rest cause I forgot how to laugh
JoshuaX Nov 2017
How will I be a winner? when I always lose
How will I be proper? if everything I do is a mess
How can I have happiness? when I am always depressed
What is love? when everyday I am hated
What is hope? when I'm disappointed
How will I know warmth? when my heart is always cold
Why would I hate bronze? if I never had gold
Why would I treasure friendship? if enemies is all i got
Why would I love you? if you never loved me back
What is good? when I don't experience kindness
What is light? if I'm living in darkness
JoshuaX Nov 2017
What we have is fake cause it happened too fast
You should have just avoided me cause I break hearts for breakfast
And I try to fix it at lunch and hope everything's get better
I regret what I did
I regret everything at dinner
JoshuaX Feb 2018
I see kids wonderin will he eat today
How about tomorrow or next week
How can they be the future if their body is too weak
Then i mind my own like i saw nothin

I wasnt raised this way
The government will tell you they got this
**** it this aint what he promised
He has to do somethin to fix this
He said 6 months now he needs 6 years
Next thing you know
Its another promised we just hoped for.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
The world lookin like hell
This are the nightmares my parents tell
Evil and sins where we humans fell
But still savin the world aint the idea we dwell
The game that we live rules arent fair
Others cheat but we dont even care.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
I only talk to you when I'm sad
I only talk to you when I'm lonely
Sometimes when drunk or other girls don't wanna talk to me
And so i ended up alone
I was searchin for a house when your already home.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
I know life is hard
Nobody understands
That you are tired
You wanna take a sleep
Rest for a while
They would remember you
They'll attend your funeral.
JoshuaX Nov 2017
I'm not sure of what she made me do
made me into something new
made me felt something that was felt by few
she made me look in a better view
but she changed and left and it was on cue
JoshuaX Apr 2018
What if everythins a lie
**** it i would wish that i would die
To tell the truth you never gave a try
You said you love me and then you said goodbye
Life is ****
JoshuaX Apr 2018
Everyday i wake up thinkin i can rule the world
then i remember your name and suddenly it felt so cold
You stripped away my confidence my memories are evidence of a girl
that did nothin when for him shes the only thing that makes sense
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Treat her as my queen even if she doesn't care,
Made her the center of my universe when in her world i wasnt there.
JoshuaX Nov 2017
Leave me today and fill me with sorrow
I don't take hearts usually I just borrow
I got nothing to say cause I know you'll return tomorrow
And I'll never worry cause everything's alright
I want you the next day guess I'll text you tonight
JoshuaX Feb 2018
I am ice cold stay away
Break your heart I'll find a way
Didnt you hear what the stories say
Im heartless **** just go away.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Why don't you leave you'll hurt your self
Leave you broken then blame myself,
Hurt you once then hurt you twice
Feed you with this crazy lies
Im not the man to fantasize
When will you realize,
Im a badboy gotdamn it
Cant understand my mindset
I love you girl thats not true i wanna tell you what i meant
too young for true love sorry you are not it.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Why come back to me im nothin
Arent you tired of cryin?
For me there is no future
Theres nothin else but torture
I cant help myself but hurt her,
Find a man that will treat you right
Im the one till i left
Broken hearts i always kept
Leave you faster than a fighter jet
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Kept myself from being insane
Cant do anythin i was drained
Gave her my all she never did call and to her nothin was gained,
How can i save myself if i fell
You and me ideas i dwell
Never thought that youll leave me alone and let me suffer in hell.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Now i just wonder can i survive havin this much pain
Alone forever waitin for someone, someone who never came
Left there i was in vain
In the middle of the rain
On my knees i kept on callin but it seems that you forgot your name.
JoshuaX Nov 2017
I may not love you first
But I will give you love that last
JoshuaX Nov 2017
Baby i will hit you like a meteorite
You never noticed that i treat you right
We're already together but you still want to meet your right
Us forever you said its just a myth, your right
JoshuaX Feb 2018
She looked me in my eyes like every thing's gonna be okay
Just like the last time she kissed me and then she moved away,
i am used to her actions I'd just be here and i will pray
Sometimes i would think why do i gotta be so wrong
Too many people in the world but now im left alone.
JoshuaX Nov 2017
She'll kiss me when shes drunk
Then slaps me when shes sober
Our love starts at night in the morning its over
JoshuaX Sep 2021
In your eyes i was lost
But now i know where i belong
If finding my way will pull me away
Now i know im lost everyday
JoshuaX Nov 2017
Lust versus Bible verses
Pray for the universe and
You shall find what you searches
You're not a runner but you gotta deal with the lapses
JoshuaX Nov 2021
missed u in a day
in a week i am weak
in a month ill lose my mind
in a year, to lose u forever i fear ~
JoshuaX Nov 2017
I always see you in my dreams
can't help but shake
Guess I don't wanna wake up
I'll just see you attending my wake
JoshuaX Nov 2017
I told her that ill break her heart
Then she said that its alright
I said ill punch you baby with my fist
Then she kissed me on my lips
I told her that my feelings ain't true
She said baby i'd still love you
JoshuaX Nov 2017
She acts like the sun
And i think I'm not her only one
Shine on me when I'm feeling dark
Made me feel like a painter and love is our canvass that turned into art
But i think she was the painter
Cause she gave me nothing but pain after.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Friends are telling me that i should let you go
If i let her go today
I'll take her back tomorrow,
Cant help but wonder
Why do i still want her
Questions that i ask
But i already know the answer.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Crazy if you thought
That someday i would be leavin,
If you really know me
To us i am believin,
Id be here till i die
I just love you to simplify
I will never ever make you cry.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Forgive me God I am a
Just give me one chance I wanna  see her
Decisions that I made I wish I could change
But I dont regret the time that I met
JoshuaX Apr 2018
Everytime i look at her face
Its a grim reminder
Times when i put my mind into her
The time we falter
When there is no shoulder
To cry on Or a roof to cover
The rain it is so insane
It is a shame that
Evrytime i think of her
Its a grim reminder
Forget everything and
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Sad nights i cry myself to sleep
Depression and anxiety
Are feelings that i keep
I just feel empty
Nobody was there for me
Is it better
To end this life
Close my eyes
Darkness feels the same
I feed myself with lies
Loneliness is my companion
It feels normal to be alone
Always searchin for a home.
JoshuaX Apr 2018
Even though i was decieved
I still want you to tell me lies
Even though i was relieved
I know that i cant smile
You showed that there aint nothin true on the things that i believe
If i cant be with you theres no reason for me to live
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Girl you just gotta smile
Its gonna be a bumpy ride
It will be nothin but hate for a while
But at the end it will be fine
So dont give up girl you just gotta smile
You gotta endure for a while
I know you can go another mile
I believe in you id be there everytime
Followin you until you reach the finish line.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Girl you just gotta smile
Its gonna be a bumpy ride
It will be nothin but hate for a while
But at the end it will be fine
You may lose all your friends
But your family will always be there.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
Never believe a thing that your haters say
You will be happy
Maybe just not today
You dont have to give up
Queens aren't made in a day.
JoshuaX Feb 2018
The feelin i thought would be over
Then i found myself never sober
Darker skies are taking over
The nights are getting colder

Consider this as my letter
You know id be here forever
Every night i pray for the better
Your the worst thing i wanna remember
JoshuaX Apr 2018
If we all die
we would all be equal
Think about it for a while
No hate no judgement
If we all die
What if..
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