She said sorry to often
She apologized for apologizing too much
She said sorry like it was a greeting
She apologized for everything that went wrong
Because she labeled herself as a disaster
She was sorry for not being good enough
Because no one ever told her that she was enough
No one ever told her that she was something more
Than the chaos inside her head and the tsunami inside her heart
So all she learned
Was to apologize for every breath that she took

.
Impenetrable silence greets
as disappointment inside sweeps,
prey to another false start,
a fire needle to the heart.

And the secret twitch of an eye muscle
reveals the depth of pain in rejection,
the shame of being considered disposable
or a stop on the road to perfection.



© Pagan Paul (22/04/19)

Sleeping in a silent forest
night sky come and swallow me whole
I promise I won't protest
These stars may fill my tired soul
And these trees, oh, how I love thee
Lush and green, dark and eerie
This is where I long to be
Here is where I'd never be weary
I put my life onto the earth
Dig myself a hole for a bed
This is where lies all lifes worth
Here everything is, I miss nothing I haven't had

Roots may pervade me, leafs shall cover
And in my stead another will grow
I will dissolve in the arms of my last lover
And of all misfortune it will never speak nor will it show

On new branches my soul will hang
until another