my sadness feels like
i'm swallowing sea water -
every gulp down my throat is a step closer to
dehydration
sinking to the bottom
no flotation
lacking foundation
my sadness feels like
vomiting frustrations
stagnation -
my sadness feels like stagnation.
sensations of vibrations
surround me but do not reach
my hands
or any part of me for that matter.
I see it -
i know its there
the energy is flowing in the air
a devious glare - i swear
i stare
and stay aware that this
illness
does more than impair - it's unfair , really.
My sadness feels like everything around me is dead -
i know its really in my head but
i look at the evening sky and see not
yellows and reds but
grays instead -
i used to imbed the colors into my
brain but lately its been filled with
tar - seeping into unhealed scars
its making a home here -
till i disappear
its not just me it's "we're" that's here -
its overstayed its welcome.
My sadness feels like a man putting his feet on my
coffee table.
My sadness feels like an empty chest -
one that rots with dust and
human rust it
echoes and howls when opened -
like its terrified of its urge to leave.
My sadness feels like a parasite that *****
until it falls but
it doesn't fall -
only crawls
through the hollow parts of me
and creates substance.
My sadness feels like accepting to drown.

Today is one of those days
where I feel nothing.
I feel like i'm not prepared.
I feel like a failure.
Today is one of those days
where I feel like I am nothing.

It would take an entire lifetime
to express my love for you
I recognize each and every feeling
but the words won't find their way
the frustration is
what I feel for you
is buried deep inside
I've been digging deep
within myself
trying to pull them
from where they hide
the feelings exist, but
the words I miss
they may never leave my mouth
but trust me dear
I'll never stop
trying to pull them out
though I promise you
I'll never quit
searching for the phrase
know all the while
my love for you
keeps growing
with every passing day

I'm down
Hit the bottom
again
Nothing seems to be working out
right
Families fighting
People Distant
Alone
Down
"I'm Fine"
"I'm just tired"
"I'm okay"
"Just a bit cold"
I am tired
I am cold
I'm not fine though
I dont even know
What I am now
A hug from a friend
Well needed
Thankyou
You have no idea how much I needed it

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.