sometimes i feel too much
sometimes i feel too little
i wish i could stay in that happy place
that lies right in the middle

when i feel too much
it's a torrent of emotion
a downpour of epic proportion
and i pray for it to end

yet when it does i don't feel enough
i'm numb, frozen, depressed.
I then pray for this to end
and i'd do anything to feel again

so i'm stuck in this happy limbo
never feeling quite right
like goldilocks in the three bear's house
i can't sleep at night

how are you happy
after hurting someone who
you were so close too

She's different.
She gave a different vibe.
It wasn't even close to going straight between the thighs.
I'm interested, now I know she is too.
Took many nights for this full moon.
If this works I honestly don't know what I'll do with myself. I'll be so happy I probably won't be able to contain myself.
And that will be all for you.
Not your body, money, or physical can do.
But your mind that's what has me so interested in you.
We are similar in many ways and that's the crazy thing.
I was 100% certain I was the only one going through that pain.
Well you've been hurt and it seems like it hurt your past too.
They say hurt people hurt people but what happens when two hurt people mend together to renew.
Hoping that we grow into one person would be cool.
But if it so happens that we just patch up ourselves that will suffice too.
I know this is going to mean a whole lot to you. I really hope you like reading my feelings too.
I like the praise as selfish as that seems but acceptance from people is what fuels me.
You're absolutely great in every single aspect. Your mind is intriguing and you're extremely beautiful too.

dear depression,
you were the girl next door,
everything i was curious and scared of
and when you struck me,
it was more shocking than if you came up behind
me and kissed me on the lips

dear depression,
you were my best friend
for so long, my only friend
and when i was going to sleep
you talked to me,
told me i wasn't good enough
but your voice
was better than no voice

dear depression,
you pushed me to the edge
and i nearly tumbled off
but at the end of the day
i am still breathing

dear depression,
you pushed me over,
and i fell
but as i fell,
you whispered in my ear
*write

It's almost been a year since I've had you by my side.
In this time I've yet to find someone who has made my heart race like you once did.
Is it bad to say that some nights while I'm asleep your face appears on the back of my eye lids?
I've came so close to giving you so many ******* calls. But your boyfriend is crazy
We know that wouldn't get far.
I don't think that you understand in the slightest what you actually meant to me. You were everything and that is something I truly mean.
It took me 6 years and a break up to truly believe that ****. And am I kicking the younger me for being so belligerent, of course. He scared you away.
Back then I didn't understand what my actions could do. But now I see life in a whole other hue.
I looked at you and everything was red.
Passion burning
your hand on my head.
My hand on your heart.
You laying under me.
Where do I start?
But now look at us.
We are entire nations apart. I remember how many times my family that didn't immediately know asked me where you were after we decided to go in opposite paths.
And I had to tell them that it wasn't meant to last.
But I'm standing here today.
To look up at the sky and pray. That maybe one day you will realize everything that was taken away when you said that I wasn't meant to stay. My happiness, my heart, my entire world tore apart.
You left me there stranded like a cast away.
But I didn't even have a Wilson to help me get through half my days.
I just had the rain. And not even the rain from the skies was enough. My eyes decided they wanted to join in on the fun.
So as I sat there for months with the skies taunting me and my eyes darting around cautiously looking for your face in crowded rooms near where you stayed.
It tore me into pieces that day. I've never cried that much.
Holding you sitting on a toilet seat. There's no reason for that image to be one of our last memories.
But everything happens for a reason.
Even though you said you were so loyal to me I consider this an act of treason.
So I will leave it there and let it go. But I swear if one day you come around you're going to have me saying
AO...

I wished
I could look into your mesmerizing eyes
and see your bright warm smile in person
instead of interpreting it in a text message.
To hear the words uttered from your soft lips, unfiltered.
And not as a digital voice through my phone that I'm trying to listen to with my headphones to intensify the sound.
To feel your presence, to touch your body with my own hands
Instead of plainly touching you with my words.
To smell your perfume on you
Instead of keeping a bottle with the liquid in my closet.
I wished my senses were attuned to you in distance...