Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Kat
Fitting In
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Kat
From what I see everyone fits in somewhere
I stare enviously at the people who others who shower them with so much care.
It’s uncomfortable for me to hang out with my middle school “friends” they all have similar interest and have forged something deep.

While I’m over here trying hard just to fit in.
Like in a YouTube video makes by Spechie,
I’m feeling like a snake because my personality is kind of fake.

Of course, this has changed the way I see things.
I’m no longer naive and see things as perfect and pretty like I did in the 6th grade.
When my eyes were forced open my the things my “friends” talked about I felt like my life was a lie.

The people I hang out with they are a little weird.
I’m not weird enough to fit in with this group
But I’m not normal enough to fit in with everyone else.

They all talk about things that concern each other.
While I’m over here talking about things that concern me.
I feel self-centered and conceded.
That’s not what I want not at all but I don’t know what to say.
If I don’t have something to say quickly the topic will change.

Everyone talks about their own experiences
Everyone talks about what they’ve seen
When I do it though I just get stares because I’m not funny
When I talk about me I think that I am self-fish.
I honestly don’t belong anywhere with these people.
I diffidently hang out with certain people.
Some of them I hang out with.
They are really kind
But I don’t fit in with them
And I always feel alone even when people surround me.
I’d like to add a happy ending but it would be lies.
This is something I’m feeling now, any advice?
tbh the grammar is terrible there's too many mistakes to fix
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Hopeless Outlet
Stuck
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Hopeless Outlet
I'm kind of stuck
At least... I think I am
Somewhere between telling everyone I know to *******
And "just please come hold me friend"

Some place in between an uneasy heart and hectic mind

"I'm depressed"
Can't I just say it without having to explain why?
Sometimes I don't even know which reason to choose

Short replies

"You seem like you don't want to talk"

You're right, but I also want to reach out
I want out
I want to let go of everything
And capture it all in my arms

like a fire fly in the palm of restless hands,
Just let me hold on to your light
Atleast, just for tonight

Because I'm feeling stuck.
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Kt Lynch
Ill
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Kt Lynch
Ill
No, doctor that's not the problem
You don't understand
I'm putting guns to my head like I don't own my hands
I'm laughing so loud in a crowd with my friends but as soon as I'm home
I feel slightly deranged
There's darkness inside me, doctor,
It's stopping me from living
turning the whole world grey when it used to be so vivid
making me a person that cannot stand to continue living because everything seems pointless and the clock just keeps on ticking
the light is still not coming to the end of my tunnel
Will there always be this black in my vision
I feel like I'm seeing double because one moment
I can't contain myself I'm radiating light
Then all at once the suns sets and I'm struggling to survive the night
Does bliss still exist in this seemingly endless fight
This weight on my chest is reaching a new height
Or rather low, I feel the blackness grow
I just don't know if you can fix me doctor
am I another lost cause
IV's and finger ******
Wrap me up with gauze
You can try to heal me from the outside but it's the inside that is
off
 Apr 2018 Ijla
Bipolar Hypocrite
Sometimes I just wish I could sink into the void inside of me, detach my soul from every part of me so I become a lifeless body.
So I can seep away from existence, fall into myself, and never see the light of day again, never be afraid that it will be burn me
Again.
It's been a while since I've written.
 Apr 2018 Ijla
adept
Silver Lining
 Apr 2018 Ijla
adept
i am drowning and silently screaming for help.

i am weeping as you ask how i am.

i am in the midst of a dark time.

i am in deep and can't pull myself up.

i am an accident waiting to happen.

i am a bomb threatening to go off.

But Yeah, Of Course I'm Fine
 Apr 2018 Ijla
AS-
Emotion
 Apr 2018 Ijla
AS-
Emotions seep from the waterfall of my mind
elusive and uncatchable
my fingers cannot translate
the feelings my mind conjures
like a magician pulling the rabbit from the hat
like a lover pulling my heart from my chest
How i feel.
Next page