She used to be human.
She use to have fun.
She used to be talkative
She used to be alive.

Her emotions run her life into the ground.
Her fun turned into pain.
Her voice doesn't have strength to talk.
She's alive, but only her body is here.

My time here is coming to an end.
I see the drop into nothingness.
I'm at the edge looking down.
A noose tied around my neck.
One foot off the ledge.
My final thoughts.
Am I finally going to be free?
Am I going to be happy finally?
As I step off the ledge,
Something stops me before the noose tightens around my neck.
He stands behind me.
Wrapping his arms tightly around me.
I'm here for you.
I say I just want to die.
He says your better than this. Your a fighter.
I'm worthless, a burden, and exhausting person to be with.
He says, I love you and all of your mess.
I simply don't understand.
I push and push for him to leave.
He stays.
I want him to be free from my disease.
My disease has it's grip and won't let go.
He stays and stays.
He fights and fights.
He hugs and hugs.
He loves and loves.
He is the one who saves me over and over.
Yet I stand at the edge always looking over, Waiting to leap.
He won't let me cause I matter to someone.
I matter.

This year she lost everything.
No, not materialistic things
What made her who she was.
Her laughter use to be infectious
Her love was wound tightly
Her caring for others was strong.
Yet, that's all gone.
She now is filled with rage and anger.
She is consumed by this dark cloud.
She doesn't laugh like she used to.
Her love is distant cause she doesn't want to cause harm.
She cared to much sometimes, that's what ruined her.

She lost many things this year.

Losing a bestfriend of 15 years.
A companion that loved her through everything.

Figuring out who people truly are and what you mean to them.
Everyone eventually forgets and gets caught up in there own lives.

Yet, she lost the light at the end of the tunnel.
Her light vanished as she is wondering aimlessly through the tunnel to find her hope.

She's been searching for herself for years, Every year her hope dwindles.

One day she hopes to find herself again.
She misses the way she always made others laugh.
She misses loving people because they deserve it.
She misses helping others through there dark times, because she knows they weren't alone in there darkest hours.
Like she was in hers.

There is hope.

This monster that lives inside of many.
Takes people daily.
It's unfair that this monster lives in all of us.
Yet some can control it.
Others get consumed and killed by it.

We need to open up more about this monster.
Why is selfish If the monster consumes another victim.
This monster is hard to live with daily.

He screams and he won't give up.
He makes you fight with yourself.
He makes you hurt others.
He is unseen by many,
Cause nobody can talk about it.
So he remains hidden behind walls so high.

Then...
He consumed another restless soul.
This monster lives in all of us...
He just hasn't reached you yet.
Beware he is coming for everyone.