every time you yelled
or threatened to leave,
i told myself it was because you loved me.
now i realize
how toxic you were

And there were others it's true
But there's been no one
....no one
since you

When asked “when you imagine yourself as the you you want to be” within a split second I had the answer, simple and straightforward. skinny

Whenever I cry I'm guilty
Am I allowed to cry when another's pain doesn't compare
I stare with a dropped jaw as others tell their hardships
Am I allowed to shed tears when so many wish to lead my life

you’ll miss them
you’ll think of the good times with them
you’ll try to justify their behavior
you’ll break every time you hear their name
you’ll be constantly looking behind you
you’ll worry that they’ll come after you
you’ll lose trust in those you love
you’ll be broken for a long time
but you’ll eventually get better

i’m dreaming of watching
sunsets with you
in front of an orange sky
along with cherry hues
seagulls crying
and boats quietly
passing by
feet in the sand
this is the promised land