For a long while I forgot why I resented you
All I knew was that I did
I couldn't remember why
I just thought it was because you were literally insane
Well I for sure wasn't wrong about that
But guess what,
Now I remember
I remember what you did to me when I was 8, 9, 10 ,and 11
Sure maybe I was okay with it then
But I didn't know what was going on
And you did
You were 12, 13, 14, and 15
You knew exactly what you were doing to me
But we were both girls so no one saw any harm in it

I remember at first I thought it was normal
I thought all friends did that
But I was so freaking wrong
I thought you were just my best friend
But then I remembered
How you would force me to stay awake
So we could play "Truth or Dare"
But then I remembered
How you would threaten me
stupid empty threats like I won't be your friend anymore
But at such a young age I didn't want to lose a friend
You wonder why I hate you, why I resent you so much?
Because you did this to me
I hate you
You are the one person I hate most in this world
Maybe if you never did those things to me I wouldn't be so scared
So scared of everything
Maybe I wouldn't think like I do
Because I don't want to think like that
So I know I apologized for the rude things I have said to you
But then I remembered and realized how wrong it was
And now I will forever hate you
Don't talk to me
Don't ever talk to me
Gender has nothing to do with it being wrong or not
I bet if it never happened I would be normal
But no I'm not because of you

Baby you are my everything
Baby you are my super hero when life gets rough
Baby you are the only thing that makes me happy
Baby you are the one person I trust
Baby you are my best friend
Baby you are the person I want to love for the rest of my life
Baby you are my future
Baby you are my life
Baby you are the one who gives my life purpose
Baby you are the one I love
Baby you are the one I will absolutely always love
Baby you mean everything to me
Baby you're my whole world

I hate this stupid feeling of feeling like everyone hates me
I hate feeling like people think everything I say is stupid
I hate not being able to talk to my teachers
I hate that this stupid thing is slowly taking over my life
Just because of you

My mom has always gone through the same thing
Struggling with you taking over her life
Making her not be able to talk to people

Why must I freak out every time I pick up a phone to call
Why must I freak out when I need to ask my teacher for help
Why are you taking over my life
Why must I always do this
Why must you make me hate myself

Why can't I get rid of you
Why can't I forget the things that make me nervous
And do the things that make me happy

I can't because of you
I can't be normal because of you
I can't talk to people because of you
I can't do anything because you take over my life
You consume every inch of happiness I have

Why can't I just be happy
Why can't I just be normal
Why can't I just be myself
Why can't I just talk to people without freaking out

It's all because of you
taking over my once perfect life

But I guess I'll just have to learn to deal with you
That's what my mom did and it turned out great.