Hello Daisies

Hello Daisies Nov 2022

The nights were crisp
If I remember right
The lights were bright
As we past each car

The talks were long
As we paused to sing a song
The hellos were beautiful
The goodbyes were soulful
But difficult

The train station in the morning
Running into your arms
The train station at night
Never seemed as bright
Even tho it was always dark
It hurt my heart
To see you go

I knew it was ok
In every possible way
When I looked up
To see your face
At the gas station
The warm night
If I recall right
I knew
I was so **** sure
It was forever

I've never felt quite right since
I realized I was wrong
what I saw as forever
Was gone

It was some kind of magic
Or curse maybe
I'm not really sure
But **** it hurts
There's no more pleasure
When I see the car lights
When I'm at a gas station at night
Or a service plaza
The distinct feeling
Of unbelieving
The world around me
A special place
A special face
held my heart so
In every ******* way

It's gone
There was never magic
It was just life
A facade
A lie
I could never begin to try
And make it right
I held so tight

The snow we fell on
The mischief we got lost in
At a Cleveland concert
Or the side of the road
Walking out of rebellion

The hair dye stuck to my hands
The red that didn't show
we continued to grow
To purples
To blues
Every new hue
With you

The trips we took
The cars we shook
By accident
You scratched it
we took off afriad
We've never misbehaved
That was the first
We had many of those

Driving for an hour
To be at olive garden
We saw as a  higher power
For years
We spent there
A special saving grace
Shoving bread to the face

The first time you left
I fell to my knees
Metaphorically
maybe physically
I can't recall
I cried for weeks
I quit the job
We shared
It wasn't fair
To anyone

It's never fair
To anyone
Yet you dared
To not care

Never cared
Never
Ever
Dared

The cons we roamed
The gorilla hugs alone
Were memorable
The pictures we took
The way we looked
As we fell and laugh
Over silly words
Humman
Gina
Something as simple
As a typo
Could keep us laughing
For years
I can't remember a single tear

I lie
For many years
..there were
..tears in us
The entire time

As I warned you
Getting into drugs
Ruins lives
You promised
With no sincerity
In those eyes
Dead inside
I knew
I blew
It away
A passing thought
As we danced the night away

Every moment
I write and write
Every feeling
I write I write
It won't leave me
I try to let it be
Let it out
On the paper
It's not poetic anymore
It's not rhyming
It's falling apart
There's no more
No more
No more
I'm losing my words
My talents
For words
For
Anything
I was so **** sure
Then again
It's happened before
Maybe I'm addicted to pain
I choose to remain
In it
By picking people
I know are cruel
I know will rule
My emotions
turn me into
A broken

Piece
Of
Hell

I can't tell
What it is
you were so addictive
Manipulative
Mean
Hurtful
Gone
Unhealthy
Selfish
******* LIAR
Fake
And
Everything I wanted to keep
Just out of reach

So I write
And I write
And I
Well
I don't know

..
I just
    Can't
             Move on

Hello Daisies Aug 2022

What happened

Closer then sisters
Better then lovers
Never a second thought
Together forever

What happened to forever
What happened

Memories come
Memories go
I'm stuck in the snow
Of all our love
The stars above
Remind me of you

Stuck like glue
You and me
Us three
Nobody could touch
Never too much

What happened to us
What happend to love
What happened to the stars above
What happened
What happened??

Every year we'd go away
Crazy wild and silly vacay
It was the best moments of my life
Laughter, fun, excitement living high

Never wondering why
We were so lucky
Treasuring each and every smile
Thinking we'd be together for awhile
For forever
Never not together

Seasons change and the weather
We were birds of a feather
Flocking together
Living with each other
Secrets told laughter spoke
Our love never a Joke

What happened to us
What happened to love
What happened to the stars above
What the **** happened to us
To forever
To looking at the stars
To crying in eachothers arms
To figuring out life together
Never hurting eachother
Closer then I could say
Giving me life in every way

How can I go on
It's been 8 months since you've gone
And I can't move on
I see you every day
You don't give a **** I'm in your way
It hurts to pretend
Like I don't know you
Like I never knew
What thoughts kept you up at night
How to make you laugh at the right
Moment
All those moments
Dust in the wind
Blew it away
I tried to catch it
But you looked the other way

What the **** happened

#friendship #heartbreak

Hello Daisies Aug 2022

This is me

Sunshine and grog
Dancing through thick fog
Midst over mountains
Shimmering gold in fountains

The feeling of serenity
Calmness and warmth
Soul inspiring
Never expiring

Enthrall me within
Give me that special grin
Always without sin
Purity so complete

Never to defeat
Warriors heart inside
I'll never abide
With man's side

I am wild and free
I am a cold winters breeze
A storm of brim and stone
Ashes flung and flown

I am a witch burning
Never returning
To their master
I will run faster

You cannot stop me
Stinging like a bee
Souring with graceful ease
I am a fairie never to please

I will use my sword
I will say my words
With passion and curse
Do your absolute worst

I am me
And she is free
Maybe only inside
In my own mind
But she you will never find
She is but mine
A special kind
A loving mother
In which moss takes cover

Leave it lone
She is alone
But pain is gone
For peace is beauty
And green is all she can see

That is me
I am green with grass
Yellow with daisies
And free with fairies
Loved by many
And giving so much
I am glee
And complete
With me

On my own

Idk just in my own head

#selflove #free #wild #weird #fairy

Hello Daisies Aug 2022

Who am i

Who am I
Softly whispering in my head
Crumbling around with little dread
I really don't know
Little bits disappear and melt like snow

Who am I
Am I the green on a summer leaf
The dancing amist the grief
Twirling with such glee
Never to see

Who am I
Am I droplets of water
Pouring into the ocean
With big waves of commotion
Lost in the deep
With secrets to weep

Who am I ?
Sunken treasure
Buried deep within
Golds and rubies waiting to win
Never to be found lost and abandoned

Who am I
I have to ask
Anger and red burning the skies
Cold and blue freezing your eyes
Who am I
I want to know
Buried in snow
Dying in the breeze
Of autumn leaves

Who am I
Sweet and soft
Mellow and yellow
Like the soft daisy of spring
Ugliness and rage never to be seen

Who am I
Can anyone tell me
I don't want to be yelling
But I've been waiting to know
For some time now

I feel like many things
But they come and go
Never keeping me
Letting me show
My angst
My sorrow
I'm just broken and borrowed

Will I never know ?

Who am I

Ah lost in life

#life #sad

Aug 2022

Lexie

Pages

Press me against you
Like flowers in a book

Hello Daisies Aug 2022

B

I know it's annoying
I know I'm a broken record
For months
And years
Crying over the same things
But it's like
I lost the best part of me
And she's ran away
Without ever missing me

I have to ask myself
What's wrong with me
I have to ask everyone
If they still love me
Or if they're also planning
On leaving me

I want this to stop
I can tell myself to get over it
But it won't quit
I can call you a *****
Tell you you're selfish

But I still won't win
I've lost
So much these three years
And Everytime I try to heal
I lose something else precious
It's miraculous
I'm still trying

There is no denying
This will always hurt
Can I ever heal the burn
When is it my turn
To tell everyone off
To tell you you hurt me
And I don't want to see you
Or pretend it's okay
Or pretend it'll go away
But you left me once again
Broken and lost
Crying and lying
Thinking I'll never be good enough
Now I truly feel everyone will leave me
I can't get close to anyone
Befriend anyone
Everyone hates me
Or loses interest
Best friend for ten years
Guess that really meant nothing

Tried to make amends and you left me
Didn't even try
And acted like nothing transpired
Nothing matters to you besides yourself
I gave you so much of me
And you took it and gave nothing back
Well one thing back
Broken pieces of a heart
That was already trying to heal

You steal
And hide
You run
And lie
You pretend
And make fake friends
You are selfish
You were never
My best forever
But a user
Who wanted to feel safe
Wanted someone to throw everything on
We had so many amazing memories
Now they're ruined
All burnt
She's broken now too
The group is gone
The place I thought I belonged
It haunts me
Every face name and place I see
I'm drowning under sea
Chained down and gagged
While you watch
Driving your boat to safety
Leaving us behind for the unknown

Where do I go now
How can I escape
They say get over it
Like I was ever good at getting over anything
Even if I was
I could never get over this
What I thought we had was bliss
Now it's an empty abyss

It's gone amidst
Ghost haunt me in the dark
Your face lurking in my dreams
You're life terrozing my job
Everytime I see you with that snob

So how do I get over this
The best parts of me
The happiest memories
Thrown away in the trash
Like it never mattered
Like I don't matter
You were the one who taught me to heal
To feel something so real
But you became so selfish
You threw me away
And now you don't wanna say
That it's over

Leaving me doubting
Leaving me wondering
Guilty
Sad
Confused

I have been so used
It's time to let go
But I've gripped so hard to this
How do I let go of my life ?
Even if it's all gone
I can't let it go
You were everything
We were everything
Now we are nothing
And I'm just suffering
Turning to rage
Locked away
Throwing up emotions
Every day

I want myself back
I want you back
Us three back

How can it be right
To throw this away
It feels wrong
Makes me sick
I can't even fathom it

But you

...you

You already took the trash out
And never looked back

#hurt #broken #heart #sad #friends

Hello Daisies Aug 2022

Peace with the moon

The moon shines down
Bigger then ever
Better then wherever
I left my heart last

a sign of beauty
Of romance
Wanting to dance
Or even prance!

I've been feeling loss
All kinds of grief
It's still within me
It'll never leave

sights like this
Chills in the air
Blow upon my skin
Problems seem so thin

My heart hurts
It follows me everywhere
Sometimes I forget why
the pain stays the same

In the name of this pain
I try to find my peace
Sometimes the moon shines
I feel a great release

Thank you for the beauty
Thank you for the calm
I want to rest my head
On the shimmering palm
Of the moons light

Ever so bright
Take my grief
My ball of hate
Take the weight
throw it away

In the seasons
It'll return
Through the wind
Crashing until burn
Into my skin
I'll feel the fire
But I'll never tire
Of what is higher

Shine down upon me
Let me glow
I will grow
Ever stronger
As I hope longer
For the pain to settle

The fires will calm
Every autumn
Perhaps sleep
Every winter
I know it'll attack
Ever harder
In the summer

As I await the return of your peace
I'll never forget
The promise
Of your sweet relief

Life is bittersweet
At it's very best
It's all a mess
I fight the screeching
With the hope of whispers
Quietly speaking
your delicate breeze

Thank you moon for shining tonight
For glowing ever so bright
The biggest I've seen you in many nights
My grief has calmed
The storm is not gone
But settled
For a night of love
For a moment of peace
Just a dash of hope
a night to hold

#moon #depression