From GTA
To oakwood
To living together
Us three
To gorillas with bananas
To 2019 no more virgins

I am hurting
I am lost
I have lost
So much
How can I go on

From cons
To Brian jokes
To surprise birthday cakes
And surprise birthday trips

Where do I get
My sanity back
My heart to not hurt
Release the memories
Into the ocean

I can't contain them
They are tearing me apart,
Ripping out my heart
Would hurt less

You seem fine
I gave you your new life
Guess I couldn't be in it
I still can't believe it

Best friends forever
Sisters like no others
Stronger then lovers
Gone and alone
Like whatever

I still remember
First meeting you
Playing that game
Thinking you're cool
I still remember
Introducing you
Sharing the memes
Thinking this is everything

I still remember the concerts
I still remember prom
I still remember getting in trouble together
Dying are hair
Without a care

I still remember best friends forever
I guess you forgot
What that meant
Prioritize anyone but us
And just forgot about us

You can move on
But I can't go on
I still remember it all
Hits me like a train
Or wrecking ball
I'm down for the count
I can't be doing this
Let me let go of the sadness

Best friends forever
Means nothing
If you can't remember
To love your friends
And be with us
It's so obvious
You're gone

And I am not too far along
But where I go I do not know
Feels like I'm already in hell

*** I also remember

Ditching me for her
Replacing me with another
Forgetting me for him
Not being there when she died
Always telling me a lie
And I'd forgive you
To not lose you
But it hurt
More and more
It hurts
How id beg
Basically on my knees
How pathetic I became
Yet again
For your attention

I still remember it all
And I'm starting to fall
Completely apart

Pls let the pain stop
Let the memories go
It's hurting me
I don't want to forget the good
But the bad is too much from you
You broke our hearts
And you didn't even fall apart

*****

How come I only feel alive when I'm losing my mind
How come the flashes from history
Bring back so much misery
But the memories of love
Bring more tears from above
The heavens aren't real
Just raindrops
And pretending to feel
My guilt is real
For what I do not know
My memories are a circus
A short circuit
Ready to stroke
Lighting and electrocution
But never the fun colorful
Kind
Only the pain and deadly
Mind

I'm losing my mind
Perhaps lost it long ago
I used to feel some hope
Now I know none
Miss all the fun
The pain has only just begun
Once I feel a little
A waterfall of all
Comes bursting through
Every five ******* minutes

I've lost it
I'm crashing down
I want my memories to stay calm
Ride the boat through
Stop crashing into rocks
And falling
Sinking
And drowning
Every **** day

I just want to play
And be loved
Remember my past
And not want to crash

Why can't I

I took the memories
Poured them down the drain
I do not retain
A single stain

My passed is gone forever
Its a little too clever
Or so I thought

If I erased my past
It would always last
She comes to me whispering

My dreams of her haunt
In a dungeon of taunts
The pain flaunts

The doctor asks what's wrong
I can't sing the song
I've forgotten from so long

It plagues my being
I'm still sitting there weeping
Blocked away from my frontal lobe

I am like a globe
I begin to mope
If shook around

If left alone I'll be bland
No harm or evil plans
My brain is at ease

I shake at night in my dreams
I'm left with awful feelings
Uncertainty what it means

I shiver and hurt
Pain hidden under my shirt
The scars are there

My heart is bare
I swear it so
I am not broke

Not anymore
For this I must be sure
I am a new girl

I do not know the other
Must not speak of her ever
If you are clever

Leave it behind
Pay it no mind
Or else I'll lose mine

Living like this is fine
The nightmares are for sleep
The new me isnt for the weak
What you can see is free
I can pretend
That is me
I'm free
Or so it seems