I wish I could feel
Something besides
The tearing pain
I'm just a gross stain

I watch them laugh
I watch them love
I watch them believe
I watch them weep

I can't feel anything
I think I'm a fake
My heart is gone
I do not belong

My anxiety has been so high
Everything makes my skin crawl
I want it all to be perfect
I scrub and scrub
It never feels enough

I'll never be enough
Noone talks to me anymore
Everyone has left
I'm not needed I guess
I'm meaningless

I let myself go
I can't handle crying anymore
Lost in tears on the bathroom floor
It's the only place I feel safe
Everywhere else is an empty cave

Nothing brings me joy
Nothing makes me smile
I know I'm truly alone
My head keeps splitting
Why am I not quitting

I lost where this poem was going
It's like my life
It's empty and not really flowing
It bothers me deeply
That I'm ending this
Without any meaning

I like being teased
I like being poked
I like the little nicknames

It's cute when you steal my hat
It's cute when you runaway with it
It's adorable making me chase you

You pushed me out of my chair
They asked if I was mad
Nah it was funny
Now I'll kick you back

I got sad and fell to the floor
You pushed me over even more
Til I rolled around
I started to laugh
Trying to fight you back

Sadness gone
Giggling strong
Now your  hiding my things from me
Making me blush nervously
Did you take it?
You big *** faker

I'm drunk as hell
Everyone else left me
You were trying to sleep
But stayed up with me
As I called you all sorts of silly names
And started tons of childish games

6am you had to be up soon
Who needs sleep
When we're laughing
Feeling High as a balloon

I wanted to *******
But I was so lost
Felt so insecure
Yet you kept with me
When I thought you'd leave
Hey at least grab my *****
I'm leaving at noon
I'd like to leave an impression on you
You silly goof

When you called me kitten
I felt overly smitten
It rang in my head
Even after I left
I wish I let you
Touch me deeper
Deeper inside me
Then just a silly tease
My head said please

Yet I still felt better
Knowing we both wanted to

I've been numb
I couldn't feel myself
Love was gone
*** was wrong
Where am I?

I saw you
I'm supposed to hate you
Yet you were there
When I was alone and scared
Everyone left
We had secret talks
Dizzy and silly

My heart raced
I was deeply insecure
Not worth a dime
You made me feel fine
Like a sweet red wine
I laughed with you all night

I didn't give you anything
I expected you to leave me behind
As I start to unwind
You still stayed and kept me
Smiling and dancing
Goofing and giggling

I wish I was sober
And not so somber
I would have given you myself
All that I had
But I'm still glad
You chose me to be around
And didn't ask for a **** thing
Besides my company

It's wrong
Let him go
They all scream at me
But you made me feel
For the first time in so long
Something very real
You made me warm inside
And I didn't have to hide

Thank you

I could feel you
In my heart
For tbe first time in years
You came to me
Awoken my eyes

Broke all the lies
Running in my mind
I felt your wind
Blow through me
You calmed me

My heart sped up
But my tears began to stop
I felt you there
You answered my prayer
Maybe not
But
I'll beleive it

For one night I wasn't alone
As I've been shown
Maybe there's always someone
Watching over me
Keeping me safe
So I'll fight
Fight til I die

I pray you're always by my side