My heart may cry
Relationships may die
And you may run away from me.
My soul is sad
My mind is mad
But it will not bring you back to me

Is this where it all ends?
Can we still be friends?
I don't blame you if you never want to talk to me
Even though you have made your self a part of me
I am not good for you
I am poison to you

When I would call
We would fight
And then we would be silent
Through the night
But I kept calling
Till you stopped texting

And then I stopped calling
Without you texting me
Why would you want to talk?
Why would you want to see my ugly face?
Why would you waste your precious time on me?
Why would you want to hear the shriek of my voice?
Why would you want to expose yourself to the disease that I am?
Why would you want to keep me in your heart?

But for me you are still right here

But you are still here
Right where you have always been
You take the spot of a friend who has always been with me
Through my best and my worst
You have seen me laugh, fight, yell and cry

I protected you when your "best friend" turned her back on you
You protected me when my "true love" broke my heart
I yelled at you when I saw the cuts on your wrist.
You yelled at me because I was "too tough" to tell you my feelings
I stood by you as your mother kicked you out if your house
You stood by me when I lost what I had been working five years to get
I cheered for you when you were awarded all of those art awards
You cheered for me when I couldn't handle all of my sports awards

We lost our innocence to each other

You scared me when you told me you were pregnant
I surprised you when I said I was willing to take care of it

But you were just joking and we laughed

But now I go back to my rhyme
Thank you for spending your time
To listen to what I have to say
And I am sorry that I can not stay

Goodnight sweet angel don't ruin your voice crying
there's a smile on my face as I am slowly dieing
Just remember all that I did for you
So that on my corpse you can build anew

Please rejoice you are free
From the monster that is me
But
Even with anger you did not want me to go
But this is for the best and that I know

Goodbye my best friend I am sorry that I have to go so soon
And leave you in the dark without
light from the moon
But I have to go home and pack
Because now when I leave I can not come back

I am sorry for the **** I put you through
And for the things we used to do
I am sorry that never again will we say HI
I am sorry
That this is my last Goodbye

A fall is only as bad as you make it
A doorstep is not as deadly as a canyon
But I would like for you to tell that
To the shattered vase

The jagged edges of the broken glass
Shimer and shine like blood on protruding bones

While cleaning it up I feel a sudden pain
I inspect the injury
A small cut has appeared on my hand
Red liquid pools in the palm of my hand
A chuckle emerges from my chest
"In my clumsiness and neglect I have not only hurt another, but also myself.
"I will let you have your revenge because I do not blame you for being spiteful."

I pick up the pieces and inspect the translucent stones
"I could buy glue, pick up every piece, spend hours recreating this masterpiece."
"No, I am no craftsman. I am no glasssmith."
"This vase is broken."
The smell of sweat and iron reminds me of the damage that I brought on myself

My body has already started the process of repair
The blood has hardened to cover the wound
I try not to think about it
"It will sort itself out." I think to myself

I head out a second time to transport the vase
Pain in my hand refuses to subside

I ignore it

Within a few steps the glass once again falls
My hand throbs with sharp uncontrollable pain

The palm of my hand rotten and greened
Much worse than it had seemed
I look for a glove to cover the mess
But the problem won't end untill it's addressed
As I look for the glove the rot continues to grow
But if I only find the glove no one will know
Before i know it i am consumed
In much less time then I presumed

My eyes open to a blinding white room
Surrounded by faces of people  I know
Disappointed but worried
I had not done what was right
I had not asked for help
I had not even taken care of the injury
These people all care about me
I had let them all down
I will need to try again to move the vase
But this time I know
I will need help without my right hand

Run little Polish boy
Run in your field
Learn of your great land
And what it may yield
Learn little polish boy
Learn how to fight
Soon you will grow up
And protect what is right
Know little polish man
Know about freedom
Go to the foreign land
And do what must be done
Fight now you polish man
Fight for the cause
Even if you might die
They have freedom in their jaws

You fight for America
Right on freedom's side
You fight for what you believe in
As you risk your hide
You make friend with founding fathers
As you fight for their home
You construct an army fortress
To protect them as you roam
When the war is over
they give you riches when you go
But you spend it on freedom
That you've come to know
You give it to a founding father
To give up all his slaves
Then you get on the boat
And face Atlantic waves

Fight now you polish man
Fight for where you where born
Fight hard polish man
Charge at the bleeding horns
You die now old polish man
You can not fight no more
Dead is the polish man
With freedom in his core

This is a Tribute to Tadeusz Kouzico a polish war hero who fought in the American revolution

Doce, to inform, to tell, to teach

This can be one in a classroom

on top of a hill or standing on a beach

but however

anyone can preach

so then what should we learn?

what should they teach?

Me is me

but who

should I be?

an eighteen year old

graduate to be?

or a man

for the world to see?

A christian

or a wiccan

a athlete

or a nerd

or should it pertain to everyone

that none would find absurd

Veritatem, the truth

the problem of

the sleuth

what if undeniable

even when uncouth

that can be shown with

undeniable proof

Whose truth?

The truth as I

believe it to be

or the truth that you

can clearly see?

or the truth of how society

would want us to be?

The truth as written by

the dumb ox?

the summary that wraps theology

into a little box

Or a much older book written

in the lord's name?

but which version of it?

because no two are the same

The one with many gods

"do as you will harm none?"

or how about the one that only has one?

"treat your neighbor as you would treat your self"

So weather your gods are poly or mono

the ide is the same

don't harm any person

in any god's name

and this is a truth that is

rarely refuted

and no matter what religion it is

not disputed

but is there any other

truth in life?

one to be said without

battle or strife

If there is we should learn it

and yell it from thee mountain top

so "Doce Me Veritatem!"

and maybe violence will stop

Red, Blue, Black, Green, Yellow
Red ruby scarlet beauty dancing before my eyes
You come up to taste the air
But the more you feed the farther it flows
But to follow the flows and your passion grows
Until you become a rushing wave and crash upon yourself
Causing a rush of Blue to come bursting though
Churning and turning, destroying what lays in its path
Bringing about the endless Black witch you have always feared
Nothing is left unscathed
Nothing is left untouched
But if you give it some time the Green will return
And the land will flourish anew
And one day the flowers will bloom with the brightest yellows you have ever seen

What a cheerful day to decay
Remember to let the devil have his say
Move like a shadow down a empty hall
But don't cast yourself upon the wall
Stay your ground, while moving on
I'll stay with you while I am gone
I have forgotten your face but remember your smile
But I shall forget that too
just give me a while
Chat Conversation End

If you saw me agian
Would it be as a friend
Or as a foe
Would our acquaintancship end
Or would it grow
I hurt you
You hurt me
I guess you were right
That we leave another be
So although I wish to know
if you are alright
We would be better
As two ships passing in the night

Let me be your fighter
Your knight in shining armor
I will raise my blade for you
And show you what I can do
Just give me a cause to defend
And I shall protect it till the end
I shall hold it close to my heart
And ensure it never falls apart

Come here and take my hand
To protect you I will take a stand
For I am a knight that fights alone
To protect the one on the throne
Go and hide behind the wall
Get to safety I will stall
Please make it out safe and sound
Even if my body is laid in the ground

Don't you cry upon my death
This is no tragedy like Macbeth
But a honor that I am proud to take
For protecting a friend is no mistake

A Poetic Apology
Because doing this is easier than making up for the mistakes I made

To whomever it may concern,
I wish to grant my deepest apology for whatever it may be that you think I may have done
Although I will deny that I did it
And if i did do it
Than I had done it for a good reason
Please know that I will halfheartedly take any responsibility
This way I only have to feel half as guilty

I will try my best to make up a long list of things that I will try to change about myself
Even though I will not actually try to do them
But, if you ever bring this up to me I will remind you that these things take time

I will be trying to work on myself
As I do nothing at all
And I will be trying to improve my relationships
As I deny any wrongdoing
Watch as I fix my flaws
Without doing any self reflection

For those who do not accept my apology
I will be calling you heartless cowards
I will rake your name though the muck
I will burn down the house that we had made together
And I will be seen as the victim of this narrative

Gas lights can make for an excellent way to uncover the truth though the darkness
But, they are only effective when the right person is handling the torch

Broken pieces of your shattered heart lay on the ground
You know you have gone through this before but that does not make it hurt less
Tears roll down your face
you wonder what hurts more
the impact of your heart shattering
or the cuts the jagged edges leave on your fingers
eventually you gather up the fragments
like broken glass the pieces fit together but will never be the same
but your goal is not to rebuild the same
but to rebuild better
your fingers become lacerated against the medium of the art
but cuts turn to calluses which can withstand the torment
as the portrait comes together and the mess becomes a masterpiece
you are proud of what you made
people gather around to witness its beauty
and some people say it’s not the picture that gives it it’s beauty
but the light that shines through it
but as the people stop coming the light starts to dim
but there is still one person who comes around to see it
when she becomes the only one you offer it for her to keep
she embraces the picture and holds it up to the sun
it shines bright and brilliantly as it once did
but now with it in her hands she can see all of the flaws
she can see the mistakes and she can see all of the un-fixed cracks
out of surprise and fear she lets go of the art work and it shatters
Broken pieces of your shattered heart lay on the ground
You know you have gone through this before but that does not make it hurt less

Oh how I wish to be lost to the shore
But to throw myself in, I won’t to be sure
For I am sure that my dive
Won’t help anyone thrive
Although I wish to be lost to the shore

I wish my life to be a camp fire
It’s an unreasonable desire
I want to give help to those who plead
But only as they shall need
Then be extinguished, like a camp fire

I wish to be consumed by the earth
To give sustenance to the mighty hearth
I won’t be remembered by what lives
And the peace that it gives
I wish to be consumed by the earth

I wish to leave like the wind
A simple breeze passing through the trees
Lost, forgotten, smooth, quick
No one cries for the wind
No one worries where the wind went
Weather the wind brings chaos or tranquility
No one remembers the wind

Broken ties
Slanderous lies
And yet you laugh when someone dies?

I don’t know if you realize that the grape vine is thin
Like a curtain witch keeps less light out than in
But I can hear you down the hall
Though the wall
Speaking ill of the one I call my sister
And your words have not missed her

As I stand up here I still wonder why
You know she had a loved one die
You know she has problems of her own
Yet you try to deface her like she sits on a throne

She doesn’t even sit on a chair
She sits on a stool with only one leg at the center
She balances on it barely keeping straight
Cause her life is an earthquake
And she is about to break

Do you think you have no chair as well?
As if she had a better place in hell?
There is no better place in hell
IT’S
JUST
HELL

I once thought you were better than this
I once thought you were stronger than this
I once thought you held compassion in the midst of aggression
I once spoke up when others spoke ill of you

I remember your bright smile
I remember it once made my heart skip a beat
I remember how beautiful you looked
Was it only a mask?

Or does your mask have the power to chill?
For now, when I look at you I only feel icicles
But it is possible that I never have seen your true face at all

Broken ties
Slanderous lies
And yet you laugh when someone dies?

I wish I could have known you better but I am not up for the task
Because I can’t know anyone when they hide behind a mask

What is being a man?
Is it being as strong as you can?
Having a nice body and a tan?

Most believe masculinity is
About being able to fight
And while manhood is a struggle
I do not think this is right
Some say your not a man
unless you drink
But the alcohol limits your
Ability to think
Few say to be a man
You must break a heart
But I ask how much like a man do
you feel When yours breaks apart

Being a man is about being tough
But not so much that your exterior is rough
But enough to allow you to handle pain
To weather the hard times when their is something to gain

Being a man is protecting
those who are weaker than you
To help them in the bad times
So that they can see it though
Because no matter
What you do
One day you are going to need
Somewhere their for you

I hate all this bullying that makes
The children think they are tough
Causing their victims to **** themselves
When they have finally had enough
Causing a kid to **** them self
doesn't mean you are strong
It only means that your a monster
And you have been one all along

Too many times I have seen cutmarks etched over the arms of my friends The cuts made me sick as they cried the mental agony of the ones that I cared about. And I remember the first time I saw them and how I thought how ugly they where, not because my friend had done this to themselves but that the cruel creatures of our society had driven them to that point. That the monsters drove them to take that knife to a place meant for loving hands.

But ironically the more I cared and worried about these marks. The less often they'd appear. And although scars remain from their past like the memory of their dark time they still had hope. Just because someone cared enough to protect them from their own mind.

So I ask you who is the bigger man? The monster causing a blade to lick
The skin of someone who has done
No wrong
Or
The friend who made the marks of
That monster
Disappear?

Boil, boil, toil and trouble
Yeast ferment, airlock bubble
Honey sugars turn to wine
A bouquet of flavors that taste divine
The raisins help give the yeast it’s power
While we wait hour by hour
The oldest alcohol known to man
So we drink it while we can

We brew the honey we brew the yeast
The concoction becomes a mighty beast
We brew it slow to make it strong
The process goes on for very long

You can add some fruit to give it flavor
Or some herbs given by the neighbor
Caramelize the honey to make a brochette
That will surely brighten your day

Add more honey to make it more sweet
Or add some tannins and serve with meat
Weather you have it outside or you decide to stay in
Make sure to take your metheglin

If life is about pain
Then why do we do so many things to avoid it
If life is about growth
Then why are we so lazy
If life is about God
Then why did I lose my faith
If life is about science
Then why doesn't anything make sense

Life is meaningless
That is a phrase easier said than believed
Because everyone makes meaning to their own life
And if you cannot find meaning then why don’t you just jump off a cliff?
Why don’t I?

I don’t because even though life is a pain
Dying is also a pain
A pain to those I leave behind
A pain that I wouldn’t even be able to help with
A pain that is only avoided if I keep living even though I don’t want to

So I have decided to do things
To help people
Because if I don’t feel happy with myself at least I can help others

But i am still lazy
And I end up being a pain to others
I am a burden to others
And it would be easier for everyone if I just brought myself to a cliff and let go

But that would only cause them more burden
It would only cause more burden than I already am

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Thou art much thiccer than humidity
an in the times that clouds turn gray
your wrath will worse than any deity
I may love your warmth
and your soft white skin
but I could love you more
If I found myself within
There will be a time
when the red river will flow
when tensions rise
and anger will grow
It is in these times that I will saw, nail and cut
to finally build you, that ****** menstrual hut

I am "One o I am "One of the good ones"
I keep my nose clean I study in school
I stay away from the "Others"

I am "One of the good ones"
I go to bed on time I go to my job
I am not "One of the ones on welfare"

I am "One of the good ones"
I watch sports
I was born in America
I don't go near any of the "Thugs"

I am "One of the good ones"
I only speak English
I never listen to "Ghetto music"
I try not to offend anyone who is white

I am "One of the good ones"
At least that is what I try to be