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Do you think a girl could love a boy who writes for her a million poems?  That's what I plan to do.
 Dec 2019 Golden Flower
emma jane
65 years from now when my grandchild looks me and asks me
"Grandma do your cheeks look like they are falling and why does your backbone rise higher than the rest of you?"
I will answer:

Baby girl what they don't teach you in school is that the older you get the more gravity pulls at you.
Keeping your feet planted and your mind out of the clouds.
Life moves down instead of forward.

Bones grow frail and muscles shrivel up and weaken just like your ability to dream.
Dream of what you’re going to be,
"when you grow up" because,
darling this is it. I'm all grown up.
I am all I was ever meant to be.
My clay has hardened,
no longer able to bend and curve with the wind.  
Too weak to keep walking forward.

That is why baby run while you still can,
discover the world.
Leave footprints in every corner of existence,
because when you're as old as me your feet will be sore
and won't be able to venture deeper into the pockets of the universe.
Roots now bind me to this little house where I will keep moving down.

Gravity is too strong for me now dear. My skin has already given up. Succumbing to the mighty force. Falling away from my bones that lie hollow inside my cheeks engraved,with the memories too valuable lose after  lifetime.
So that when this world had
changed,
beyond recognition,
I will still hold inside of me the days that I spent in the sun .

As for my back.
Honey, the best thing you can have is a backbone ,
because when everything in this world in pulling you down,
you're going to need something
to keep holding you up.

My backbone,
a tribute to the years
I spent tiptoeing across
the coal beds of this life’s mighty fire.  But one day it will turn into a white flag of surrender.

That is when you know that gravity has won.
I will sink back into the earth
and maybe start again…
this is a spoken word piece that i wrote today and will be performing at a small thing tommorow, ahhhhh I have less that 24 hours to practice and memorize plus I'm doing this and 2 more so I'm kinda freaking out! wish me luck ;)
An apology without change,
is just manipulation.

I love you, but I can wait till your rule over my life ends.
3 more years, 3 more years, 3 more years.
I don't want to heal,
if it means losing the last thing I have left of you.
I will keep these memories,
and forever feel this pain.
 Dec 2019 Golden Flower
Traveler
Whether a comma, or colon:
Punctuation slows my rolling
I need no period. When I end
no Capitalization when I begin
Rulelessly I flow my art
  Not a single!
Exclamation mark
Are you not the one
Who'll know?
Where a question mark
No longer goes

Warp the structure
Bend the lines
Put in repeat
Let emotion unwind
Make yourself
Your poetry's the best
Be your own ruler
Pass your own test

Take your own road
Where ever it leads
Lover or hater
It's all poetry!
Traveler Tim
.


Hay
No matter who you are
You have my deepest respect!

Vanity
All is vanity
The meanings of passion
The aesthetic expression
The lines we draw and stay within
Even love is beyond intent
Vanity transcends
Flowing from our pens
And so we breathe again
 Nov 2019 Golden Flower
Julian
I'm too young to feel this numb
I'm too young to feel this pain
It's not fair for all the shame that we face when we want to express the way we feel
I'm too ashamed of my thoughts
I can't believe I think those things
I wish I could turn my brain off
And just float away
You can only escape for so long but when the high is gone you drop back into the low and keep on drifting down the long dusty road looking for a turn a path an exit that doesn't end with your existence
I try to leave my body behind exit my self just for a little while but its hardest to run from the thing that is close
My bed has become my place a comfy hole for me to hind my face I feel strapped in pulled by an invisible force you don't know how many chains I pull with me when I try to get up I yank for my life and pull for my happiness and someday I can shake the chains and escape I can make it to the door and fall to the floor praying that tomorrow I will be able to do the same thing
that someday I will shake away the shame but for now I'm trapped chained down to my bed to many thoughts racing through my head I try to push them out I don't want to hear them shout

get out of my head
get out of my head
do I really want to be dead?
This though enters in my brain I can only ignore it for so long till it comes back creeping in I feel the words swim around me like a chain and pulls me deeper into bed
today I will not be able to escape
today I will not fall to the floor
My highs are high but my lows are really low
 Nov 2019 Golden Flower
Julian
I'm tired
I'm tired of my life
Of the people who treat me like ****
Of the ones who leave just when the adventure begins
I'm tired of thinking why or doing what I think is right because everything always turns out wrong
I'm tired of doing what others want
I'm tired of waking up
I'm tired and I don't know what to do because this is the life I live I can't switch to someone else I need to make a change but I'm weighed down in fear I can't do anything without feeling like I'm going to explode
I'm so stressed just from the thought that I might not have time to rest
I can't do anything because I'm too scared it makes me mad how closed off I can be but idk what else to do I can't bring my self to do the things I want in fear of judgement faller
work makes me stressed, home makes me stressed, friends make me stressed, living makes me stressed
I'm tired of this stress
I'm tired of this pressure
I'm tired of living in the state I am in this cold place that someday may decide my fate I don't want to give in I don't want to crack but how can I live with this stress on my back everything I do and say comes back to me in some way
I'm tired of the way I look
I'm tired of seeing my self in the mirror because the only thing it shows is the hurt the scared the disgusting body that I own if I only I could trade it
my body is affecting my life in more ways then there is time to explain but I'm tired of it I just want it gone if these few things could change I could maybe wake up for the next couple days I try to hold on hope but its hard when you don't do anything to fix your problems because your stuck in fear to a four framed box that holds you off the ground and keeps you from floating around
I'm tired of sleep
I'm tired of me
I'm tired of life
I'm tired and I don't know what to do
No matter how much you sleep sometimes you're still tired
My periods turn to semicolons
My suicide notes to poetry
My goodbyes became hellos
The blades turn to sunflowers
And the bullets, a rose
My heart still is broken
But the pieces have been found
Death isn’t for me anymore
What is, in the here and now
I still don’t feel enough
But I am alive
And that’s enough to say
Today is not the day I die.
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