I did not know
Back then
What you wanted
I watched as you
Had your mind twisted
By the things you saw
On a computer screen
Things you wanted
Me to see too
Me to do to you
But I couldn't
But I let you
Keep watching that screen
And I know
I should have stopped you
But I couldn't
I watched as you
Fell further
Deeper in the darkest
Parts of your mind
I wasn't strong enough
I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
For fear of losing
Another friend
For fear of making
Everything worse
I will always
Blame myself
For the state
You're in now
And the state
You put me in
Because I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
Risk the one constant
That kept me
From going mad
From hating myself
From hurting myself
From killing myself
But I was wrong
You were the constant
That made me
Go mad
Hate myself
Hurt myself
And try to **** myself
And yet
You are still my friend
Because I blame myself
And I have to protect you
Because I'd never
Forgive myself
If you killed yourself
And I didn't try to stop you

You
Killed
My
Childhood
But
I
Forgive
You
And
Blame
Me

“I've grown to trust you 85% of the time.”
----
“What about the other 15% percent?”
----
“You can’t fix everything;
some things are not fixable.”

Real Eyes,
                 Realize,
                              Real Lies*.

We all are trying to **** loneliness,
You came to life to **** your parents loneliness,
You will marry someone to **** your loneliness and the person marrying you the same,
We make friend's - enemies just to not feel lonely because we all know loneliness is scary,
We think it's a torture but
It's a bliss most of us don't understand

sometimes when i'm asleep i hear whispers.

ghosts of all the men i let decimate my sanctuary

thinking they came to worship.

the men who came with flowers,

fragrances and exquisite offerings

who left with my sobriety.

many pieces of me are

somewhere in the world

being given as bounty to other women

expecting to be loved as i did.

Throughout her adult life
all of the land shaded.
Feverless islands where the
aged couple sleep.
Never once have I hosted a party. Not once have I
told you, I have
been hurt.

Under the orange
street lights
it's 3am

Longing to find him,
she skulks alone
in the dark

And as London sleeps
her cries go unheard
by all but one

The promise
of tonight
stirs within

Let it
soon
begin

I was looking through old things one day, when I found a faded envelope. I was plain and non-descript. I looked at the address and it just said to a friend, so I opened it to see what it said. While the envelope was worn and faded, the letter was crisp and new. The paper was colored gold and it had a royal emblem on the page. The words of the letter were beautifully written in the most unusual hue, the ink was the color of Scarlet. It said dear friend, I am glad you have found this note. I was wondering when you would open it, I have been waiting for so long. I want to tell you how glad I am you are reading it now. I know that you have been lost, but I want you to know that you are now found. All of your confusion will be forgotten and all of the answers you seek will become clear. All you have to do is ask and I will draw near. I was stunned by what I read and I began to shed a tear, then I read the final line and my heart broke apart. It said just know that I died for you and I loved you from the start. Your friend Jesus. I knew then that I was not alone and that I would never be the same. The day I read the letter written in Scarlet blood, that was shed by the king of kings.