When I think of you
I sink to the floor
the only place where my mind
forgets your lie

imagining your voice
looking up
and out the window
I feel your warm embrace

then the clouds come through
and I'm again reminded
of the love
we never had

I dip my pain and misery in glitter
to blind you with the joy and colors
but you’ve called my bluff
You looked close enough to see
washed out colors
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Ashamed I look down
because I too was
blinded by all the glitter
So desperately I wanted to be who I’ve always been
so I held on to it
I kept it there for people to see
that I wasn’t completely,
broken
..
(And maybe I could even convince myself
that I was okay)

I dream about you
knocking on my door
pulling me outside
into the rain
in the middle of
the night
raindrops look like
shooting stars
but you're like the sun
keeping us warm
let's go side by side
I'm sure we'll find
someplace
for you and I

Miserable when you were here
now that you are gone
still feels like you're next to me

You used to sit right there
by the dinner table
scents of coffee
light coming through the window
we looked outside
small breeze
made the trees dance
orange sky
yellow fields

the grass is not greener
on the other side
spring is knocking
on my window
where are you?
I've made us some coffee
poured you a cup
opened the window
I'll wait here for you